I came across a really inspiring, important moment that I want to share.  It was from Ellen Degeneres and about how she reacted to the confusion people expressed when they saw her sitting next to George W Bush at a football game. Ellen’s response was so pure, powerful, and a timely reminder that it’s okay to be different. Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you can’t get along with them. It has gotten too polarized and people are forgetting that difference of opinion is actually a really great thing.

It doesn’t matter who they are, or what they believe, it’s important to be kind to everyone.

I see life sometimes as a math function. But, when you strip it down, all it really means is that you have an input, then that input gets changed into something else by the function,which produces an output. Not as complicated as you remember it being in high school algebra, is it?

Well, as it pertains to life, everything you experience is the input. Then your life experience, genetic predispositions, and other voluntary factors serve as the function that alters that input, and your left with your output, which is basically how your perceive it.

The quote, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”, shows just how powerful that function is. In fact, it argues that only 10% of the input is retained, and the function is responsible for 90% of the result. That’s where positivity comes in. When you make positivity, gratitude, and empathy default characteristics in your life, they influence the function that runs subconsciously, altering all inputs into a more positive, grateful, and empathetic interpretation.

The power we possess to choose or reality is incredible, and if we do the work through meditation, practicing consistent gratitude, and gaining self awareness, we can perceive a much more positive life.

I mean, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it, and it’s your move to make that 90% right!

Special thanks to Ashley Gutierrez, who gave me this piece of advice. Don’t Look Away.

The easy and comfortable thing to do is to hide and avoid. Just to act like it doesn’t exist. What this does is it exacerbates the problem. In order for things to really change and improve, you need to acknowledge that they’re happening, and gain awareness on the issue. For me, being fully present, and allowing myself to experience everything the trip had to offer has inspired me to take take on a larger role. There’s something really powerful in facing the reality in front of you, and the easy thing to do is look away, but if you do you’re doing yourself and the problem a disservice.

Although I did bring up this point to add perspective, it is not meant to demean the challenges you are experiencing. In fact, it is meant to encourage you to address them as they are. I imagine there are some realities in your life that you are afraid to acknowledge. It could be an issue in a relationship, or the state of your finances.  But the longer you look away and avoid that reality, the deeper roots it will grow and the more dissociated you will become from the issue.

With this all in mind, I feel called to find more ways to support. It comes in big ways, like fundraising a new housebuild, and in smaller ways, like hearing someone’s personal challenge and sharing resources that I have found valuable. Whatever it is, please feel free to reach out, and whatever you do, don’t look away.

Don’t say you're sorry.  This doesn’t mean, however, to not admit when you’re at fault. I think communicating to someone that things didn’t meet expectations is extremely important.  It’s all about how that gets communicated, whether it be from a scarcity mindset, or an abundance mindset.

If you say “I’m sorry”, it suggests that it was an entirely negative experience. It presents the situation as a burden or a misfortune that you need to apologize for. This comes from a scarcity mindset because it implies that there’s not enough to go around, and you need to make amends for what you took from them, which could be their time, energy, money, or emotions.

The alternative is to approach the situation from an abundance mindset. The counterintuitive part is that you can still acknowledge something didn’t go to plan and be positive about it. For example, if you were late to something, instead of saying "I’m sorry for being late", say "I appreciate your patience". What this does is it takes the negative affect from the circumstance and reframes it to highlight a positive part of it. You choose to mention a positive quality that was put on display as a result of the error. Not only does it make the mistake you’re apologizing for seem less significant, but it helps reduce the interpersonal tension moving forward.   

I love this idea because I’m guilty of it, and just starting to bring my own awareness to it. So, the next chance you get, when you’re about to apologize and say you’re sorry, think about how else you can communicate the same message, but in a positively framed way!

When football coaches review one of their players performance, they assess 3 important criteria. First, is alignment. Are they in the right position to make a play. Second, is assignment. Are they doing the right thing or playing the right role. Third, is technique. Are they executing their role how they are supposed to be doing it.

I think it applies far beyond the football field and into just about everything we do. 

Alignment is about being in the right place. You can’t make something happen unless you are in a position where you are capable of enacting change. You can’t bench press unless you are near a bar and some weights. Getting your foot in the door for the opportunity is an essential component to taking action on it. And it can’t happen until you’re present.

Assignment is about spending your energy doing the right things. What tactics are you using to achieve what objective? If you want to read a book, looking up YouTube summaries might not be the best idea. But if you want to write a review on a book, then that would make sense. You need to be sure that you are clear on what you are trying to accomplish, or what the assignment is, so that your actions can contribute toward that goal.

Technique is defined as, “a skillful or efficient way of doing or achieving something”. Now that you’re in the right place, working on the right problem, you need to make sure you are being as efficient as possible. Learning best practices, being open to trial and error, and optimizing your processes are necessary to applying the best technique in your actions.

To summarize, alignment is the where, assignment is the what, and technique is the how. Use these three together to guarantee you are being as effective as possible in your performance.

Josh Perry has a special past that involves a stint as a professional BMX athlete, multiple brain tumors, and now a career in health and wellness coaching. Josh has undergone an unbelievable transformation from then to get to where he is now, and in the interview I asked him the one piece of advice he would give to someone else looking to make their own life shift.

Finding purpose is powerful, but it’s not only about finding your one purpose in life, but also finding purpose in the small tasks you’re doing. As long as you are satisfied with the results you’re generating and the contributions you’re making, that’s a life worth pursuing and a life with purpose.

Why is it that we lose sight of the beauty that is our own uniqueness? We are all capable of our own unique contribution to this world, yet we find ourselves regressing to the mean and finding ways to meet the expectations of others.  We can live our lives convincing ourselves that we want what someone else has, when in reality it’s probably not the best fit for you because you’re a different person. That’s a sad situation to deal with due to the fact that you’ll never be able to realize your full individual potential.  

This reminds me of a Dr. Seuss quote, “Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive that is youer than you.”  Our uniqueness should be welcomed and appreciated, not only out of acceptance for who we are, but for that intangible quality that only we have to offer.  Coming from diverse backgrounds, with varying world views and independent perspectives, no two people are the same and no one sees the same situation like you do.  That is your superpower!

Remember that classic senior quote, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”  It just goes to show that we’ve been hearing about this our whole lives, and it’s time we took a step back to really internalize that.  Believing in our hearts that we have a purpose and a role in this world no one else can fill, is enough motivation to get up and do something about it. I encourage you to celebrate yourself, everything you are, and everything you have to offer.

Sexuality is a very important part of our lives that deserves open discussion just like anything else.This message is delivered by Julianne Vacarro, a woman pioneering this new wave of sexual acceptance, and while her message is catered for women, but it’s also a lesson for anyone.

Julianne’s highlights that sex and sexuality is a very natural and effective mechanism for personal expression, and if we don’t allow ourselves to tap into that, then we aren’t allowing ourselves to show up fully in everything else we do.

I must preface this subject by saying I am no expert, and it’s necessary to acknowledge that because it is a very important issue that often requires professional help. It’s about processing serious negative emotions.

We all have them and in one way or another can relate. Whether that emotion is anger, sadness, embarrassment, or shame, you must get yourself out of that negative thought pattern to move through it. One thing I am trying to learn more about is the role of gratitude in this situation. All pain and suffering is relative to others, and if we take a position of gratitude, it can discredit the emotions we are feeling because we are trying to compare them to someone else’s. But, be careful because this added perspective could be more of a defense mechanism than true emotional processing. It is okay to embrace your feelings even though you know others may have it worse. Try not to reject the way that you feel because you are trying to add perspective to your situation. In my opinion, there is a time and place for different phases in this recovery process, and gratitude definitely plays a role, but not at the expense of allowing yourself to feel the emotion.

There is no general technique that works for all people. Each episode is unique to the individual and their environment. Some recommendations include a combination of catharsis (or a large emotional release), self-love, and perspective, others involve intentional introspection and identification. What’s important is to give yourself the space and resources to feel better. Our mental health is very important and we need to be more okay having that conversation in all areas of our lives. And there is zero shame in seeking professional help, I’ve done it myself. 

Lean into the process that feels right for you and restore trust in yourself that you are capable of finding your center, whatever that might be or mean!