A listener and buddy of mine, Derek, sent me this thought which is covered in Brendon Burchard’s book, “The Charge - Activating 10 Human Drives that Make you feel alive”.

In it, he covers the 3 ways to live. First is the caged life. This is when you live in the past, are molded and limited by the expectations of others, and are tethered by yesterday’s results and complacent in what’s happening right now.

Then there’s the comfortable life, where you feel engaged and thankful for what you have, you find some meaning and mystery in what you do, and you use your voice to stand up for things you believe in.

And lastly, there’s the charged life. This is where you dream and wonder how you can actualize your potential. You live an inspired life that is inspiring others. You chase the things that are authentic to you, not anyone else, and pursue experiences that you find valuable. And you are hungry for ways to stretch your abilities.

All 3 of these lives are fully attainable, and you get what you ask for. So which one do you want to live?. 

A line in the book goes as follows: “For it is often the human condition to comply obediently at first, then to assert but still cooperate or compromise, then, finally, to discover choice, calling, maturity, and heightened drives for freedom, expression, and contribution”.

The quote is, “You are nothing special”. This quote is true. We put our pants on one leg at a time, see things with our own two eyes, hear things with our own two ears, and walk places with our own two legs. We also breathe the same air and pump the same blood. It’s not all that different is it?

Well, here’s the important part with a twist to it. That’s not the full quote. It should have said, “You are capable of everything. You are nothing special”.

Just like having two eyes and two ears, we all share this same reality that we can do and be whatever we want! That ability to do everything exists in each and every one of us. For that reason you are not special.

But here’s the opportunity. There are some people who might have better vision, might be able to hear a little better, might be able to run a little faster, which is their uniqueness that stands out beyond average. Unique is not special. We all have our own uniqueness that allows us to contribute in a way that maximizes our efforts, which many people call “your zone of genius”.

Now the game is to get people with different geniuses all swimming in the same direction and working together to share their uniqueness! You are not special just because you are unique. Within that uniqueness you are capable of everything! Fortunately, so is everyone else.

For our next SISD, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dan Pallotta, an individual with a record setting Ted Talk and who is truly making a difference in this world by being smart in how he works with non-profits. Dan has disrupted the industry simply because he dared to dream! And his philosophy on it is really inspiring.

How true is it? This life and this opportunity is an absolute privilege, and let’s make the absolute most of it! Just because there is a way we used to do it doesn’t mean it always has to be that way. Through innovation and persistence you can accomplish major things if only you start creating it!

Recently, I was on a Zoom call with my friend, David Meltzer, who is always full of wisdom, and he shared a super powerful story that we all have something to learn from.

This happened pre-quarantine, but David woke at 4:30 A.M. as usual and went outside to drive to the gym. He noticed that his daughter’s car wasn’t parked anywhere near the house. He started to get really angry thinking through what she was doing and how he was going to punish her. She snuck out, and never came home. Is everything okay? He went to call her up but then thought twice because he didn’t want to approach the conversation with that kind of energy. He took a few moments, calmed himself down, then made the call. His daughter answered.

“Hey honey, is everything okay? I noticed your car isn’t out front.” 

“Yes it is Daddy, last night I went out to a party where people were drinking and you told me not to drive home if people had been drinking, so I left my car there.”

"Sweetie, I’m so proud of you, thank you for making the right decision, go back to bed, I love you.”

“Love you too Daddy!”

David recognizes that this probably means she was drinking too, but found it more important that she had the confidence to make the right decision.

Had David acted on his emotions, and accused his daughter of wrongdoings, she would have gotten defensive and this event would have been a much larger deal. So much so that the next time she’s out, she might choose to drive home to avoid this confrontation, and who knows what might happen then.

I share this story to help us remember that it’s so important to think about the energy you’re carrying, and how others may receive it, because it directly affects the results you generate.

I wanted to share a thought I came across in Grant Cardone’s book the, 10x Rule. I’m taking a few liberties in the way that I approach it, because I’m putting an ultra positive spin on it.

There’s a quote in the book that goes as follows, “Wherever you go, there you are”.

Don’t take this quote too literally. Of course you are there wherever you go, that’s obvious. I’m not talking about being physically present, I’m talking about being emotionally present.

Specifically, emotional support. Have you ever came across a time in your life where you’ve felt alone? Maybe trying to figure something out in your work, personal life, or finances? Or maybe when you receive some bad news?

The truth is you might be physically alone, but you’re never emotionally alone, because you are always there for yourself. You will always have your own back. You can always count on yourself. Wherever you go, there you are supporting yourself in that new environment, getting creative and resourceful to satisfy your needs, and helping yourself to get through.

You have everything you need and you are everything you need. Not only do all of the skills and experiences you’ve acquired can apply to your life, your potential to figure things out and your ability to provide for yourself.

This message doesn’t have the usual pep and enthusiasm, but it’s necessary and I want to use this platform to potentially help someone. I want to share what a mentor of mine, Paul Carrick Brunson, has done to support those experiencing domestic violence.

VID Here

Please stay safe everyone, and please support each other. If you need me for any reason use the code word “bubble” and I will do whatever I can to help.

When you look at the mirror it gives you life exactly how it is. No lens, no filter, just at face value. This is it. It’s a simple equation, but we forget the ways in which it applies, and sometimes even see ourselves as an exception where the formula doesn't apply.

My friend Stephanie Zee once told me that, "when you judge others in life it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you, meaning that you project your own insecurities and issues onto others". If that’s the case, which I believe it’s true, then we can see how honestly life reflects back to you what you put out.

So if you want to receive kindness, be kind. If you want to be loved, love first. If you want others to be patient with you, start by being patient with them. 

We’ve gotten in our heads that this world is unpredictable and inconsistent, but the universal laws that we live within have never changed. While we can only perceive the world through our brain’s interpretation of our 5 senses, I fully believe that there are other universal laws that we are susceptible to. This is one of them.

Life is a mirror. What you put in is what you get out. So why not choose to add to your life the qualities that you know will serve you? Lead with kindness and from a place of support, and you’ll find it will return in the most important ways.

What is your purpose?

To me, purpose is what we’re all searching for. It’s the cause or area of service that lights you up every time you’re in it. It’s the combination of your interests, strengths, and causes that perfectly come together to get you feeling aligned and fulfilled. And when we’re working within our purpose, we find a flow that allows you to pour everything you have into whatever you’re working on in the most meaningful and fulfilling way.

I imagine you’ve experienced micro-moments of this throughout your life, where you’ve felt an incredible buzz or energy that makes you feel truly alive, and like you matter.

We need this more often! I think we’ve all created a story in our heads, which has been fed by the social norms we’ve come to accept, that prevents us from dreaming about pursuing our true purpose because it’s not practical.

Well guess what? That’s not the truth. That’s what you’ve been telling yourself, and the second you lift that expectation you’ll find that you’re actually ready to discover your purpose.

There were times when I wanted to pursue something bold or share a controversial opinion or tell someone how I feel and I just didn’t have the courage. When my head was on the pillow at night it was so easy to tell myself I was going to do it, but then when it came to doing it I just couldn’t!

Well, this topic might fix that. It’s about having 20 seconds of courage. Literally, it’s about getting out of your head, silencing your thoughts of doubt and insecurity, and just doing it. Stand up for yourself! Ask them out! Be bold!

I’m not asking you to sustain this. The reason you aren’t acting is because it is so uncomfortable. But I am asking you to shift your mindset for 20 seconds of courage, because that’s all that’s needed.

In a lot of these moments, it’s just about initiation. The fear usually isn’t in the act itself, it is in starting the act. The truth is we’re more competent and prepared than we think when it comes to expressing the things we want to stand for. It’s the getting into that space to facilitate the conversation or the act where a lot of people drop off. We are extremely adept at morphing and molding to the setting we find ourselves in. 20 seconds of courage will help you arrive to the setting that you’ve been resisting but you know is good for you.

To delve deeper, the fear of inaction is based on the perceived consequences. Of course, we’re going to be resistant to negative consequences, but we need to evaluate how those compare to the positive payoff. Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of liquid courage? Imagine being able to apply that but in a more intentional way. Are there consequences? Yes. But, how does it feel to act in a way true to yourself?

Long story short, It’s 20 seconds. That’s all I’m asking. You can do anything for 20 seconds. The next time you find yourself resisting how you feel or how you want to behave, and it’s appropriate, gather the courage and go for it!