Specific Ask > Vague Wish

The most important clarity to have in life is knowing what you want. This is true in the long run as you decide the career you want to be in, the lifestyle you want to have, and the friends you want to keep… As well as in the micro where you choose the tone you put in an email, the tradeoff between enjoying fries or opting for a side salad, and who you want to invite to an event.

I believe that consistently realigning around what you want is embedded in the process of living intentionally. It involves being more thoughtful about things so that you understand the short term and long term implications of your choices. And when you’re clear on what you holistically want, considering all the tradeoffs, then you can take action to achieve it.

What happens naturally is your internal clarity then gets expressed externally through the actions you take. The more clear the intention, the more directly an action can contribute toward fulfilling it. So much so that there’s a stark difference in effectiveness between making a specific ask and having a vague wish.

The difference between the two is the level of clarity you have with a request:

A specific ask is narrow and precise. A vague wish is open, undetermined, and intangible.

Here’s an example of how this played out in my life. Last year I ran a fundraiser called New Year For Good, a campaign to help people make good on their big goals for the New Year while donating 100% of the revenue to charity. Talk about a win-win!

As I was hustling to grow the movement and taking calls with people, I’d often ask for introductions and referrals. I’d say “Do you know anyone who’s into personal development and social impact?” To that they’d respond, “I’m sure I do! Let me think about it and get back to you.” Very few did.

So I changed my strategy from making a vague wish to a specific ask. Instead I started asking “Do you know any former athletes who are ambitious, have big dreams, and care about social impact?” The right person came to mind right away.

When I got more clear on who I wanted to collaborate with to build this campaign, my efforts to do it became more effective. The universe rewards a specific ask because it doesn’t know how to deliver on a vague wish. Or when it does, it’s not as impactful because it wasn’t exactly what you wanted.

So my recommendation to you is: Get clear and ask away! Not only will you waste less time and effort when you do, but you just might get what you asked for.