Let’s go back to a quote we all know and trust. But instead of just saying it, let’s think about what it really means when we believe it. That quote is “Everything happens for a reason.” 

The way I see it, life is a string of events. One opportunity, decision, or conversation leads to the next which leads to the next, and it’s only after you’ve gone so far and look back that you can see how it all went down. Oftentimes these reflections are triggered by positive events, and when you trace backwards you understand how negative moments were necessary guiding stars on your way to your final destination.

You usually think of “everything happening for a reason” when trying to understand why something bad happened. The quote helps you to be more mindful and curious about how that thing might be serving you or preparing your or teaching you for the future. While that’s hard and unnatural to do, because we very much are biased to optimize for short-term outcomes over delayed gratification, it gives negative events meaning. 

Rooted in all of this is a belief that at the end of the day, you’re going to get where you’re meant to go. Having faith in that process, and trusting that “everything happens for a reason” holds you accountable to seeing the things around you from a new perspective, which helps to motivate you to get back on track toward your dreams.

Fear is very contextual. It’s not the act itself that is fearful, but it’s the potential consequences of the act that make us feel fear. These consequences are heavily determined by our environment, so in understanding that fear means just as much about you as the context around you, you may be able to better separate yourself from the emotion and take decisive action. 

For example, last week I was invited to be on a TV show pitch competition to talk about my social impact company For Purpose. I rehearsed, memorized, and did everything I could to try to simulate the nerves and fear I would feel during the pitch in order to best prepare myself. That’s when I realized, whether I was practicing the pitch in front of the mirror or performing it live for the judges on the TV show, the task was the same - Just go through my memorized speech. But, the context was very different, and it was “doing it live” that evoked so much fear. 

I mention this all to provide a new context to fear. Fear isn’t about you, it’s about the way you feel in an environment. In the moments before giving my pitch I used Josh Perry’s life mantra - “Fear is a thought and thoughts can change.” So whether you’re afraid of standing up to your boss, or disciplining a child, or trying something new, recognize that it’s the context of the activity that provokes fear.

Typically, when you think of resources you think of money. That’s likely because money is the most standardized currency we have in society, and it give us the ability to reciprocate value. But money in of itself isn’t worth anything. When money can be used to help you with your other resources it starts to become effective. 

To touch on some of these alternative resources, they’re things like being able to participate emotionally with others through compassion and empathy, your perspective and creative thinking, and your time and energy. The dollar only has value because it allows you to do more in these other capacities.

But the larger question to ask is, if money is only a proxy for other resources, why don’t we just transact with those directly? And I think we do. We choose where we invest our compassion, energy, and time because they are finite resources and need to be allocated appropriately. I’d even go further to say that these resources serve as currencies themselves because they allow value to be transferred in a more implicit way.

If we live our lives optimizing for money, and value ourselves based on the dollars coming in, then we’re making decisions that are one degree removed from what actually matters. Let's think more about how you can use the intrinsic resources you have.

Let’s think more about decision making, and one thing that informs the decisions you’re making that you might not be aware of - Your assumptions. Assumptions are things that you have concluded and believe to be true about a certain situation. You use assumptions when you might not have all the data you need and haven’t completely validated the concept. Assumptions help you move forward faster because it allows you to forecast how you expect things will go without committing too many resources to double checking your hunches. 

As humans we’re actually very good at making assumptions. This is because we have so much experience in similar areas and we rely on assumptions for efficiency, especially when it comes to introducing change or innovation Sometimes though, when we’re in new territory we rely on these assumptions so heavily that we actually move past really fundamental questions without giving them enough consideration. That’s why today, I’m asking you to question your assumptions. Identify what are the core factors of your understanding and think through how much you actually know about them. 

To give an example, let’s say that you’re thinking about starting a new job. You’re ready to take the risk. The assumptions built into that are: You’re quality of life will increase and it doesn’t negatively affect others. Well what does that mean? Quality of life is a complex arrangement of compensation, enjoying the work, how many hours you’re working. As for negatively affecting others, will you need to relocate, will you be more “on call” and less present? These are all factors that all contribute to the larger conclusion.

The bottom line is, you’re probably on the right track and your assumptions are good, but take an extra minute to question how you may be thinking a certain way without diving into the details that make up that thought.

Before the last week I was unaware of the racism and discrimination affecting the Asian American and Pacific Islander populations in the United States. Understanding that Asian cultures are more reserved and conservative, I’m realizing that this has probably been an issue for a while that has been very under-reported. 

I still have so much to learn about this, and can’t really teach on the subject yet, but to share some statistics that quantifies this issue - Since the pandemic started 34% of Asian Americans said that they’ve been victim to verbal attacks, 24% have been affected by workplace discrimination, 16% have been coughed on or spat on, 12% have been physically assaulted, and 12% have been refused to use public transportation.

I don’t really have much to say on this other than that this behavior is unacceptable. The fact that racism and intentional discrimination still exists in 2021 is unbelievable to me, and knowing that Asian American discrimination is far from the only form of racial discrimination in the US, I’m recognizing that this is actually a white supremacy problem.

As a white person who this absolutely applies to, I’m going to spend more time educating myself and becoming more self-aware of my biases so that I can play my role and be better. I encourage you to reflect as well, and know that in this life love always wins.

Let's go back to one of the greatest thinkers in history for a quick lesson, Albert Einstein. His influence stretches far beyond physics and science and into this positivity rich quote “Live your life as if nothing is a miracle, or everything is a miracle.” How do we even make sense of this thought? How can something be a miracle and not a miracle at the same time?

Quite simply, it’s because even the most commonplace things require a seemingly infinite amount of other things to have gone a certain way to exist exactly as it does. Another way of putting it, the precise randomness of the world’s history created one specific output from an infinite amount of possibilities. So everything around you is the result of the smallest of probabilities, yet it beat all odds and happened. That’s pretty miraculous if you ask me.

Relating this back to positivity, and understanding this crazy phenomenon built into everything, it’s your choice to see that process as normal. You can see how everything is normal and abides by it, or you can see it for the incredible miracle it is. Choosing to see things as a miracle ties a sense of awe, wonderment, and curiosity into your environment. It makes you pause more often and be mindful of the incredible complexity that exists within everything. With the innate fulfillment and joy that can be drawn from such emotions, you’ll recognize that there is so much good in this world when you start to see it.

It’s kind of out there and transcendental to think about things in this way, but think about your current situation, and think about how different things could be if that one small thing didn’t happen exactly how it did. Multiply that by thousands or millions of other things that could have gone differently, and you’ll start to see what I mean. “Live your life as if everything is a miracle.”

In life we all come from our own backgrounds that carry with it our own set of challenges, but it also carries its own set of privileges. I think too often we reject the things that we have access to, which could truly transform our lives, for no good reason.

Let’s say you have a large inheritance from your family but you don’t want to touch the money because you “didn’t earn it”. Or you are a naturally gifted writer but you choose to pursue being a speaker because you think it’s more valuable. Or your Uncle has some connections that could really advance your career, or a project you’re working on, yet you don’t want to ask him for the favor. It sounds silly but it’s true, people are afraid to use what they’ve got.

And I think that fear is generated by the ego. It comes from our need to validate our own worth, so we dismiss opportunities or advantages that we didn’t create for ourselves. But you’re actually doing yourself a disservice, because how would you treat someone else who had family money, or had a gift for writing, or a well-connected Uncle? You’d encourage them to leverage that and squeeze as much value as they can from it! 

It’s not selfish, in fact it’s the opposite because when you use what you’ve got you create more value it can then positively affect others. If those opportunities never come to fruition then that value is lost forever, and the world will not be better off because of it. So use what you’ve got! You have access to it for a reason, make sure you make the most of it.

Sometimes I have to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Good things aren’t going to happen on their own, you need to put in the work. You need to practice.

If you have a presentation you can’t expect it to go perfectly well without rehearsing. If you play a sport you can’t expect to be as good as you were without having played in a while. Or even if you don’t meditate often, you can’t expect that it’s going to be perfectly enlightening because you chose to do it once. These things take practice.

When it comes to performing in any capacity we see it narrowly within that moment. The speech itself, the game you’re playing, while you're meditating, but we don’t give credit to the preparation required because all of that work is removed from that moment. Logically we know different - We put in the work to practice and hone our skills so that we are capable of doing our best when the moment comes. But we don’t always have the patience to practice.

Practice, practice, practice. Think about what standard you want to meet when you perform, and then track back to what you need to do in advance to be capable of that level of competition. Then create a plan that holds you accountable to consistently putting in the work so that you can deliver to the fullest when the time is right.

As far as I know, there’s no replacement for good old-fashioned hard work. So don’t skip it. Invest in your craft and practice.

We can probably agree that perfectionism isn’t known to be a good thing. It has a stigma attached to it, and necessarily so because it holds so many people back from taking action in important ways. That’s where I want to go a step further and argue that the idea of perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination.

To quickly touch on procrastination, procrastination is a defense mechanism that protects you from discomfort. The discomfort of doing something you don’t want to do, and the energy required to do it, or something you don’t know how to do, and the doubt you feel about your capabilities.

Perfectionism does exactly that - It keeps you from taking action until you feel completely prepared to do so. But the thing is, when you’re completely prepared you have confidence in yourself and don’t need to overcome the same amount of discomfort. So perfectionism is a rationalization strategy that  keeps you from taking action while you're experiencing discomfort. 

Of course, what needs to be mentioned is there is a certain level of quality that needs to coincide with your taking action in order to do it right. But I firmly believe that being 80% there and taking action today is way more effective than being 100% there 2 months from now, because it allows you to optimize through feedback, and there’s no guarantee you’re ever going to reach 100%.

To finish, I think perfectionism is a form of procrastination, and if you think so too you can be better about rejecting the idea that things need to be perfect.