Recently I’ve had a really incredible opportunity presented to me that I’ve been thinking a lot about. It’s the kind of decision that could change the trajectory of my career, and it’s impossible to know what the right choice is until after it all unfolds. To get some clarity on it, I consulted one of my mentors, Adam Braun, to help me figure out what I want to do.

Adam is an inspiring entrepreneur and social impact leader who has dedicated his life to driving positive change in the world. As someone who has navigated territory just like this in his own career, he gave me some very pointed perspective:

“Make the little decisions with your head, and the big ones with your heart.”

This was exactly what I needed to hear because I was aware of how “heady” I was making things. I had already arrived at a perfectly crafted story to explain how this opportunity was the culmination of everything I had been working toward. That this opportunity was only possible because of the years of hard work I’ had invested in being of service. And while all of that is true, it’s a thoughtful rationalization rather than an intuitive knowing.

Now, I’m giving myself space to do the real soul-searching. It’s insightful to observe some of the feelings and leanings that have already come up, and some of the factors that have been influencing my thinking behind the scenes. It makes sense to make the little decisions with your head. It’s strategic, thoughtful, and orchestrated around creating a certain result. But the big decisions, that has to come from the deepest parts of you.

In our conversation, Adam recounted how many times his head and heart had different things to say. How the thing that made logical sense wasn’t what he intuitively felt was right. And he shared how for the few times he trusted his head over his heart, it didn’t pan out like he thought it would or go according to plan.

So as you take in this wisdom, I want you to think about any big decisions you might be facing now, or decisions you might be facing soon. Tap into what your heart is guiding you to do and let that weigh heavily in your decision making process.

Two other tips he gave: 1) Engage your partner in the decision, because it impacts them, but ultimately communicate that the final decision is yours. And 2) If you can, allow yourself to take more time with big decisions because it creates more space for your intuition to shine.

Something that many people consider an admirable trait is being fearless. We appreciate someone who is willing to go for it, put themselves out there, and take action unimpacted by the fear most people would have in the same situation. 

Some people say being completely fearless is reckless, but I disagree. I think it's possible that being fearless always serves us. What gets people into trouble is not accurately quantifying the risk associated with the action they’re taking fearlessly.

Fear is a universal human emotion. In fact it’s a survival instinct. The reason we’ve evolved to have fear is to keep us out of harm's way, and avoid doing things that may threaten our safety. The emotion hijacks our decision making and keeps us from doing something that may hurt us.

However, our fear is hyperactive in modern society and keeps us from doing things that don’t actually pose a threat to our safety. In fact, it often keeps us from taking action in the big, bold, confident ways required to reach our goals and dreams. 

It’s a fear of what others might think, a fear of failure, or a fear of looking stupid that holds us back. While that form of fear used to keep us from doing something that would cause us to be outcast from our tribe, in today’s world it’s no longer a matter of life or death.

Risk however is an understanding for the likelihood of different potential outcomes. It’s a thoughtful, measured approach to assessing how you want to proceed. You weigh the risks, probabilities, consequences, and upsides against each other to reason how you want to proceed.

Quantifying risk is a conscious process, feeling emotional is an unconscious process. What’s best for us is our best understanding of how we want to proceed, not how our physiology is telling us to. There are plenty of things that we’re afraid of that we shouldn’t do because they’re too risky. But our sense of fear is just one of the inputs we use to calculate the overall risk. It serves us to choose not to do those things because we’ve quantified the risk rather than we fear doing them. 

So the next time you’re feeling afraid but trying to coach yourself into taking action, create consciousness but evaluating the risk. What’s the worst that could happen, and how likely is that to happen? What’s the best thing that could happen, and what’s the likelihood of that? And, what has the highest probability of happening, and what are the pros and cons inherent to it?

Fear is an emotion. Risk is a measurement. It’s better to be conscious and choose our future rather than let emotions choose for us.

Today marks the day that Coach Daron Roberts, an inspiring man and friend, launches his new book called “Microwins”. Daron got his JD from Harvard Law after being rejected multiple times, and turned his dream to coach in the NFL into a 7 year career before becoming a speaker, author, philanthropist, and teacher. For years he has been talking about this concept and living it out on a daily basis.

The main idea of “Microwins” is exactly what you’d expect: You achieve big goals and dreams by stacking small, meaningful wins throughout your day. I haven’t read the book yet, I’m starting it in the next few days, and I encourage you to get a copy and we can read it together.

However given what I know about Daron’s work and human behavior, this is what I expect to be in the book:

First is a conversation about mindset and beliefs. The mind cares more about consistency and frequency than size or complexity of action. In other words, doing small things with consistency leaves a larger imprint on your mind than massive displays of will. By planning out, completing, and celebrating microwins, you reinforce that you have what it takes to achieve your goals - Big, small, or micro.

Second is a conversation about momentum. When you add microwin on top of microwin on top of microwin, you build momentum. With momentum comes power and unrelenting, unstoppable force. Once the train is running, you can point it wherever you want and multiply your ability to do it well. One small victory at a time you improve your skills, belief, and knowledge until eventually you become exponentially more capable of rising to any occasion.

Darren Hardy says that momentum is “the most powerful and enigmatic force in the universe.” He also says that once you get momentum, it’s easy to keep it. That’s what this Microwins approach can do for you - Get intentional about the way you build momentum in your life so that you become unstoppable. 

Again, if you want to join me in reading Daron’s new book “Microwins” you can grab your copy by clicking here! Everything Daron does is exceptional and I'm confident the same will be true for this book!

The human mind is incredible. It has endless computing power, constantly processing millions of bits of information to help us understand the world around us. John Assaraf calls the brain a “billion dollar bio-computer” and for good reason!

In particular, one of the things the brain is always doing is taking in the contextual data around us, interpreting it, and producing a meaning to everything we experience. It works kind of like a calculator where the mind enacts different functions to all the inputs of life and outputs a specific answer.

Also like a calculator, I’ve found that the brain uses a specific formula: Unconscious Influence + Conscious Influence + Situational Influence = Meaning.

The unconscious influence is made up of our belief systems, evolutionary hardwirings, and genetic predispositions. Conscious influence is made up of all the goals, dreams, desires, and priorities we want. And the situational influence takes in the contextual factors of the present energetic and emotional state, accessibility of behaviors, and other environmental circumstances.

It’s these three elements that make up the calculator’s formula and come together to output the specific meaning, action step, or way of feeling about an event.

The majority of the time, the mind works unconsciously. This means that the calculator’s formula neglects conscious influence and operates solely on unconscious and situational factors. That’s why it’s so important for us to do the work to create an empowering belief system and self image, so that our unconscious calculations lead to positive outcomes.

And, we also must cultivate awareness. The more awareness we have, the more conscious influence comes online and the better control we have of the formula. Rather than the calculator processing the world completely from pre-programming, we can guide the calculation ourselves to shape the meaning we assign to events.

Simplifying the brain’s process, it takes inputs, processes them, and produces outputs. It’s the processing step that is calculator’s formula, and it’s our job to make that formula as optimal as possible as often as we can.

I connected with an inspiring nonprofit leader named Vernon Shaw earlier this week, and he said something that really stood out to me. He’s the kind of person where you feel his presence any time he walks into a room. Everyone immediately acknowledges how abundant, driven, and pure-hearted he is, including myself. You figure someone like that has to be really intentional to carry that kind of energy everywhere they go.

Vernon said “Self-care is different than taking care of yourself.”

Sometimes we get caught up in checking the box - Getting your meditation and exercise in, completing your daily routine of gratitude journaling, taking a cold shower to kick off your metabolism for the day. While these activities themselves are very healthy and markers of a high-performing person, there’s one very important thing that is missing - Why?

We don’t do these things just to do them, we do them because they help us to be the most dynamic, grounded, and effective version of ourselves. Self-care is just a means to taking care of yourself.

But it doesn’t always perfectly translate over. There are times when self-care activities are not the things that take care of yourself. For example, I have a cold right now. I have certain goals for myself in terms of the amount I want to exercise, and a standard for myself to always take a cold shower if it’s before 8pm, but does following through on that serve me right now?

What serves me most, the way I can best take care of myself right now, is to rest - To not push myself through a workout and to not shock my system with cold water.

The difference between self-care and taking care of yourself reminds me of an improved way to relate with self-discipline. Self discipline is misunderstood to be a “do what you said you would do at all costs” kind of thing. And oftentimes, getting yourself to take action and ‘grind it out’ is the right expression of it. 

But true self-discipline is a matter of being aware of what choice most serves you right now, and faithfully following through on it despite the pressures and circumstances you’re in. To me, that’s living intentionally. It’s infusing everything with purpose. And when self-care has that level of intentionality built into it, then it functions to help you take care of yourself.

When you really get down to the basics, the only thing that matters is taking action. Actions shift the current design of the world and in doing so, reshape reality. Improving habits, beliefs, identity, and environment - all of it contributes to taking higher quality actions to produce higher quality results.

So unsurprisingly, the same thing goes for the level of inspiration we feel. Ben Nemtin, one of the world’s most prolific keynote speakers who encourages people to follow their dreams, says “You architect inspiration through action.”

We cannot wait to feel inspired to benefit from the fulfillment and purpose that inspired living gives us. If we rely on motivated moments to work up the courage to live at the level we know we’re capable of, we’ll never reach the critical mass of consistency required to actually make moves. 

Our natural response is to wait to be in a certain mood to take a certain action, but it’s the opposite that’s true - Mood follows action. And if we want to feel more energized, focused, or inspired, it starts by taking energizing, focused and inspired action.

Ben’s core message is to get your inspiration in motion. You can kickstart feelings with just small steps. Actions compound and the more you take them, the more disproportionate the benefits you get from them over time.

So now thinking through how you can be the architect who intentionally builds inspiration through action, what can you do? Here are a few ideas. You can tackle that one task you’ve been avoiding to liberate the energy that has been blocked by it. You can visualize your goals and connect your actions today with your future reality. You can play a game where you take on an alter ego for 15 minutes and show up as the big, bold, inspired person you know you can be. Whatever it is, the goal is to invite inspiration into your life through action and let it take over.

We are not at the mercy of everything around us. At any given moment we can cultivate the awareness, courage, discipline, and inspiration to take action. And like a fire that needs a match, the inspiration will burn long after you ignite it.

One of the founding fathers of personal development, Jim Rohn, is known for saying "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." This suggests that who we choose to surround ourselves with matters and plays a huge role in determining the arc of our life’s trajectory.

We’re social creatures by design. Our survival once depended on our ability to fit in with a group, which is why we unconsciously incorporate the behaviors of those around us. This means we adopt the health choices, spending habits, and interests of those around us without even realizing it.

Just like you pick up your pace when you’re walking with someone who is a fast walker, our habits, mindset, and actions are shaped by the people we’re surrounded by. 

Darren Hardy in “The Compound Effect” says there are two types of people - “Engines” and “Anchors.” Engines are the people who fire you up, encouraging you to think bigger, take bold actions, and become the best version of yourself. Anchors are the ones who weigh you down with negativity, doubt, or complacency. The key is to seek out and surround yourself with engines - the energizers who push you forward.

So take stock of your current circle. Who lifts you up and gets you excited about the future? Who might be holding you back? By intentionally curating your relationships, you’ll find that the right people can make all the difference in helping you achieve your goals. 

It’s in pursuit of being all that we can be where we find happiness, and the people that are most likely to help you tap into that are energizers. If one person comes to mind who’s an energizer, and you’re feeling inspired to change your life right now, reach out to them and tell them you want to spend more time with them.

Last week I was in a new town and wanted to enjoy my lunch by the bay. I made a conscious effort to avoid all temptations to check social media, respond to text messages, or otherwise get caught up on my phone so that I could be more present. Sitting on a bench overlooking the bay and taking in the sights, I was proud of myself for allowing myself to be.

It must have looked like my intention was to enjoy the scenery  because a woman walking her dog chose to make a quick comment to me in passing: “Don’t you love that smell?” she said. I responded “Ya, the sandwich smells great doesn’t it?” And to that she responded, “No, the smell of the bay!”

In a quick moment this woman completely shifted my perspective. Here I was, trying to be as present as possible taking in everything that my senses could, and I hadn’t even noticed the one thing that stood out the most to someone else. It reminded me of how narrow our perspective is, even when we’re trying to take on the widest view possible.

Relating this back to our personal development, the same goes for our performance and efforts to be the best version of ourselves. We go about our days operating with a limited level of awareness. On one hand it can be defeating and discouraging as we do our best but still fail to get the results we want. But on the other hand, it’s extremely liberating because any time you fall short you can attribute it to lacking awareness.

This isn’t meant to be a cop out that deflects responsibility… It’s the practical truth. Our choices are limited by the awareness and information we have when we make the choice. If anything this actually generates ownership because then it’s on us to seek out the awareness and information we need to bridge the gap.

That’s why one of the great pursuits of humanity is to elevate our consciousness. Albert Einstein is quoted saying “You can’t solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it.” We cultivate consciousness by seeking perspective from others, practicing self-awareness, challenging our own thoughts and beliefs, disconnecting from our ego, and creating more space to observe the events of life before assigning a defaulted meaning to them. 

What you perceive and experience today is the smallest fraction of what’s out there. And it’s on us to chip away at seeing into the things we don’t, as best as we can. It’s like Maya Angelou says: “Do the best you can until you know better. The when you know better, do better.”

One of my favorite books of all time is “Oh The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss. It’s always a treat when I get to read it to my nephews. One of my favorite parts of the book reads:

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.”

It’s a book ripe with life lessons but the one on 'balance' strikes me most. When you think about creating balance in life, you think of it as striking an equilibrium where all of the important things in life are appropriately weighted. That’s not to say that you need to divide your work, loved ones, and self-care equally in thirds, but that you find your right amount that satisfies your best-life equilibrium.

But the thing that a lot of people miss about balance is that, like equilibrium in a chemical reaction, it’s a dynamic state. Reactants are consistently becoming products, and products are constantly turning back into reactants.  Equilibrium is the state where the rate of each process is just about equal so that it offsets and appears to be static.

The same thing goes for riding a bicycle. Once you find balance you don’t have it permanently. You constantly need to adjust and shift your weight in subtle ways to maintain balance. It’s a dynamic process.

In “The One Thing”, Gary Keller puts it like this: Work-life balance is a verb. There are pressures and factors that constantly push us off center. A big work project pops up here, and family priorities pop up there. His recommendation is that we also know what the priority is. Work when you work, and work on the right things. Play when you play, and don’t allow your mind to wander on things happening in other areas of your life. It’s the rhythm of doing both work and life well that keeps you on a high-achieving and fulfilling trajectory. 

The act of balancing is constantly evaluating what’s most important right now. Given the state of work, and life, and the context of the moment that’s presented in front of you, you make the choice about how you want to proceed.

That’s living with intentionality, and that’s my north star for everything I do.