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The Fear Behind Your Fear

January 11, 2022

As humans we are meaning making machines! Our brains are designed to assimilate new information into our current mental models in order to generate patterns. This is evolutionarily advantageous because the more predictable our environments are, the less threatening, so our brains work hard to make sense of everything going on.

This same process applies to what we fear. When we encounter a certain situation or circumstance that provokes a fear response, we make meaning of that event and associate that environment with fear. But often that’s not actually what you’re afraid of, the circumstance just exposed a deeper rooted, core fear.

For example, let’s talk about public speaking. Is it the act of saying words in front of a group of people that you're afraid of? Or is it the possibility of embarrassment if you misspeak, and the fear of being judged for how well you do? That same core fear can be activated in a variety of different ways, public speaking being one of them.

In applying this concept to your life, it’s important to be self-aware and know what is truly gripping you. Once you discover what the fear is you can get curious about what might have happened to implant that fear in you, and how else it might be affecting you. This will help you identify what is holding you back on a subconscious level so that you can work through it.

Let me finish by asking you the obvious question - What are you actually most afraid of?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

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W.O.O.P.

January 10, 2022

Something I learned in my favorite personal development app, Optimize, is the acronym WOOP. WOOP is meant to be used as a visualization technique to help with preparing and planning to achieve your goals. There are 4 steps to WOOP - Wish. Outcome. Obstacles. Plan. The idea is that you walk yourself sequentially through each of these prompts to maximize your ability to achieve something meaningful.

W - The wish is what you want. This is the goal you set, or the accomplishment you’re pursuing. First bring that to mind to remember what it’s all for.

Then O - This is the outcome, but specifically the emotional experience of it. Imagine that you achieved your goal, you did it! What would that feel like and how would you celebrate it? Visualize that.

Then another O. Think about the obstacles that you may encounter between today and that moment you just pictured. Pinpoint what might be the root of the doubts you’ll have along the way, the difficult phases of the process, and acknowledge them.

Then finally P. Plan how you will overcome these obstacles. If you encounter a certain thing or feel a certain way, and instead of letting that derail you,  how would you ideally respond to that obstacle?

I’ve incorporated the WOOP visualization method into my morning meditation to help grow my confidence and certainty that I can win the day and make meaningful progress on what’s important to me. I really encourage you to give it a try, and I’ll leave you with this question - When are you going to try the WOOP visualization method?

Click here to check out Optimize Mastery!

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

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Weekend Recap 1/3 - 1/7

January 8, 2022
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X Is Success

January 7, 2022

I’m willing to bet a lot that you want to be successful in your life. However, success is a pretty elusive and misunderstood thing. What even is success? Well of course it’s contextual to you and your desires. What might be success for you could be failure for someone else, and vice versa. In fact the secret to success is defining it for yourself so that you are pursuing what authentically fulfills you, and represents meaningful progress and accomplishment in your life.

But even when we do try to be self-aware and determine what success is in our life, we think about it backwards. Currently we approach defining success by saying “Success is X”, (fill in “X” for whatever is true to you). And in doing so we fill in the blank with the means that generate the end. That way of thinking actually violates something really important, which is that success is the outcome, and our attention and interest should be placed on the input that generates the outcome. So we should switch the order and think about the activities we do and enjoy, and how that contributes to being successful - “X is success.”

In flipping the order we focus on the things we already do and know about, and determine if it organically fits into the paradigm of what success means for us. This ensures that we aren’t pulling from other people’s definition of success to create our own. Instead of being prompted to respond using what others consider to be success, we determine for ourselves what success is the natural byproduct of.

So when it comes to the ways you think about your life I’d encourage you to think first about the inputs, what’s within your control, and then measure the outputs. With that in mind I’ll leave you by asking this reflective question - What things are you already doing well that you’d consider being a part of your definition of success?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

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"Life is tough but so are you."

January 6, 2022

I want to be honest and put things on the table. Life can be hard. Work can be draining. Relationships can be emotional and exhausting to manage. There are many things out of your control that impact you and make things more difficult than they need to be. That’s just a part of the world we live in. Today I’m not going to tell you to change your perspective and be grateful for your struggles, even though there is a lot of truth to that, but I do want to share that while life may be tough, so are you.

There is something inside of you that has gotten you through every single obstacle you’ve ever encountered. Since every sleepless night you’ve had a calm morning. Since every panic attack you’ve managed to compose yourself. You’ve overcome every tear you’ve shed due to heartbreak, death, fear to become the person you are today on the other side of it. I’ll bet life has thrown some pretty serious stuff at you, and it was hard in the moment, but you are stronger because of it and more resilient than you realize.

So let’s reframe what you might be going through right now. Issues at work, stress in the family, difficulties in a relationship, uncertainty about your future… It’s hard. It’s tough. But so are you. You are bigger than any problem you face and you are capable of taking it headfirst. Things might need to get worse before they get better, and issues don’t resolve overnight, but know that they do resolve. So don’t give up, don’t back down, and don’t make compromises you’re not willing to make. This is your life and you can stand up for what you want. And I’m here to support you with it. To really land this I want you to think about something - Think about the last time you were tough. What were you battling, and what was your response?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.


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Labor Produces Life

January 5, 2022

I’ve been listening to a lot of the late great Jim Rohn recently and I wanted to feature one of his philosophies. Jim is one of the first great voices in personal development but even he’d tell you that a lot of what he came to know wasn’t novel or innovative, it was old, battle-tested, and always understood throughout human history. In this instance he elaborated on something as fundamental as how “Labor produces life.”

There are two ways to think of this that are valuable, which are the literal meaning and the figurative meaning. Literally, human life is only possible when women go into labor. What is known to be one of the most difficult, painful experiences a human can have is a prerequisite to creating life. Life doesn’t just happen upon itself, it is nurtured, developed, and created through a process that most people wouldn’t do voluntarily if it weren’t for the miracle that is life.

This understanding leads us into the figurative meaning, which is that if you want to change your life, you need to put in the work. Just like life beginning is difficult and painful, changing your life is difficult and painful. Your brain and body have grown accustomed to doing things a certain way and once you start to disrupt that your brain will reject the changes you’re trying to make. The brain is evolutionarily designed to do this and keep you safe. So similar to pregnancy and labor, the discomfort is actually an indicator that you’re growing, that life is changing, because it’s evidence that there’s a new process.

Labor produces life - It births life and it changes lives. So don’t be afraid of the hard work. Don’t turn away from the discomfort of growth. Growth occurs when you’re outside of your comfort zone. What discomfort are you feeling that’s keeping you from growing?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

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Ask Big, Often

January 4, 2022

One of the most important questions, if not the most important question you’ll ever ask yourself is “What do I want?” Knowing what you want is the North Star you can actually use to make meaningful progress in your life. You must be prepared to be honest with yourself, and hear the truth, no matter how outlandish or impossible it might seem. Dreams aren’t meant to make sense or else they wouldn’t be dreams. And dreams do come true.

There’s one thing that helps turn your dreams into reality unlike anything else, and it’s probably the simplest advice you’ll ever hear.

Ask for it!

If you want something then ask for it! You’ll be amazed by how many people offer to help you. It doesn’t matter how big or small, realistic or unrealistic it is, the best way to get what you want is to ask for it.

Many people hesitate to ask for things because they believe life is scarce. You only have so many favors to call in, you’re inconveniencing people to get involved in helping you. But people won’t do anything that doesn’t in some way serve them. So ask away, invite people to be a part of your story, and understand that you have an unlimited amount of wishes! If you’re uncomfortable asking people for what you want then ask the universe for it, because it will deliver to you the people or circumstances that will make it happen.

Don’t be afraid to ask big, often because it will help you get what you want and need, which empowers you to help other people get what they want and need more often too. So let me finish by planting this seed of a question - What are you afraid to ask for?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.


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Yes You Can

January 3, 2022

A problem I see a lot is people rule things out before they even try. They rationalize why a dream is too big, or a goal too unachievable, that they don’t even pursue it in the first place. It’s really rooted in a belief that they can’t do it - they don’t have the time or means, it's not the right opportunity, the timing isn’t right, and therefore they don’t.

In the case of many of our goals… Someone else is already living it. So instead of viewing ourselves as inferior to them, and seeing all the advantages, opportunities, and lucky breaks they had that helped them to achieve it, see them as evidence that they did and YES YOU CAN!

But talking about what you can and can’t do is superficial because it’s all about the possibilities of what could be. In order to make it happen you need to take action. However, you won’t be inspired to do that until you believe it is attainable. I’m here to tell you that you can turn an idea of anything into reality, countless people have done it, so why not you? You just need to believe it and buy into it.

So whatever this New Year has in store for you - The intentions, resolutions, and priorities you want to reimagine, you 100% can do it. It then becomes a matter of committing to them and having a plan in place that helps you deliver on it. You’ll be amazed by what you can do when you set your mind to it. So let me ask you this question - What do you want to do that you haven’t started yet?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

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ANNOUNCEMENT: An Inside Look at Self Improvement Daily in 2022

January 1, 2022
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Weekend Recap 12/27 - 12/31

January 1, 2022
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