Your life as it is right now is a perfect reflection of what you want. No matter the level of wealth, success, connection, or joy you live with, it is the result of you getting exactly what you want.

I understand how that might not sound believable because there are so many people living in circumstances they wouldn’t choose, tolerating life conditions that they don’t like, or are falling short of the level they know they’re capable of…

But again, we’re getting exactly what we want right now. And that’s because we’re not fully aware of what we want.

This is why I want to make a distinction between conscious wants and unconscious wants. 

A “conscious want” is something that you in your right mind see as something you’d like to have in your life. You could want to have a thriving business, lead an incredible initiative, have a deep connection with friends and family, or see the world. We express the vision of how our life could be as a conscious want.

Then there are “unconscious wants”. These are the motivational forces that work behind the scenes to drive our choices and behaviors. These are the things that cause our lives to organize into the results that we’re currently getting, even if we tell ourselves we want something else. And that’s because embedded deep down in our psyche we actually want something more or different than what we think we want.

One of the great “unconscious wants” we all share is a desire to be safe and feel secure. Even though we tell ourselves we want to start that new business or live an adventurous life, our desire to be safe and secure overrides it. It causes us to be fearful, doubtful, and keeps us cozy in the familiarity of our comfort zone.

If we want to push the pedal down on the side of really pursuing our conscious wants, we need to take our foot off the break and remove the unconscious wants that are holding us back.

We need to get introspective to understand the ways that fear and limitation are expressed in our life. And with that awareness we need to unpattern our behavior and redesign our beliefs.

If you’re not getting what you consciously want in life, this is why - you're not fully aware of what you unconsciously want. And when you shift one thing in one area it’ll cause your reality to shift as well.

One of the biggest points of resistance I get from people who aren’t like us, who don’t invest in their self-improvement, is: “If I choose to do self-improvement I’m basically admitting that I’m not good enough as I am, and I don’t like that.”

I hear where they’re coming from, but I have a different perspective. I see our growth as a dynamic process that’s never-ending. It’s an evolution that is only possible because we take who we were and build on top of it. Our current self is required to evolve from.

It’s not that you aren’t healthy enough or that you weigh too much… It’s that your current self and your years of living have prepared you for this moment to commit to being healthier.

It’s not that you’ve wasted your life in a dead end job or relationship that was never going to work… It’s that you now have more experience to know where your skills can make the greatest contribution, and better identify who you’re more compatible with.

Nothing is still in life. Everything exists as an equilibrium.

The idea of ‘balance’ isn’t static but rather constant micro-corrections to maintain a neutral position. So understanding that everything is constantly changing around us, we’re best served to meet the moment and maximize ourselves within an ever changing environment.

Now if I’m speaking directly to the self-improvement skeptic’s perspective, who feels like seeking improvement is unhealthy, I’d argue that there are greater consequences to not taking personal growth seriously. Having no room for improvement implies that we’re achieving perfection as we are, and I personally find that hard to believe.

The tricky part is - I understand there's religious context that refers to being made perfectly in the image of God, and seeing imperfection in ourselves is choosing to see imperfection in God.

I can’t comment on that and I support whatever your beliefs are.

What I’m attempting to share, and found to be true for myself, is that people can change - Change themselves, change their life, and change their contribution toward others when they commit to their own self-growth.

And knowing that our growth journey is just an evolution from who we are now into who we are becoming, we realize that we’re constantly building off of our current foundation, where everything before it happened in a perfectly crafted way to support our personal evolution.

The missing factor that’s keeping many people from leveling up their life is self-discipline. They know what they need to do but they don’t do it consistently.

Whether they get distracted, talk themselves out of it, or can’t find the motivation to take action, a lack of self-discipline leaves so much potential on the table.

But I think self-discipline is a bit misunderstood. It’s not staying consistent at all costs like most people think...

I disagree with the idea that there are ‘non-negotiables’ in life. True self-discipline is about consistently making the choice that most serves you and want you want most in life, even when you don’t feel like it. 

When you think of self-discipline, you probably relate it with having self-control. But as it turns out that’s just one of 3 sources for discipline.

But starting there, using self-control to be disciplined is the approach of using your willpower. It’s about consciously making yourself do something. It’s an effortful push get yourself into action and often works against the grain of your life.

Which leads us to the second source for discipline - environment. This is the natural flow that life is pulling you toward. When uninterrupted, your environment will guide you to wherever it is designed to take you. There are tactical things you can do to your environment to change where this force pulls you, which ultimately makes consistency more or less difficult depending on the design.

And the 3rd source of discipline is identity, which is basically your personal set of beliefs. Identity is a specific form of environment but rather than it being externally driven, it’s internally produced. Your beliefs shape your choices unconsciously and guides your actions. When doing something violates a belief you have, it creates resistance. When something is in alignment with a belief, it becomes easy and automatic. 

So if you want to be more disciplined, you need to think beyond willpower.

First, find ways to shift your environment to support positive action... And second, upgrade your belief system so that you genuinely see yourself as an accountable action taker in everything you do.

If you want support in doing both of those, that’s what the 21 Day Super Habits Challenge is all about. You complete a 21 day subconscious priming audio program called Discipline on Demand to transform your mindset, and you install a new life-operating system that shifts your environment and support you in being more consistent with you health habits and more productive overall.

Check it out here!

I want to help a lot of people, and make a real impact in this world. I want to be a force for good that encourages, inspires, and leads others to maximize their potential in service of others.

I have a feeling you’re following along because you want to do the same :)

Abraham Maslow defines purpose as the combination of two things: The pursuit of one’s own potential to become all that we can be (self-actualization) and to use your gifts and talents in service of the world (to help others). We all share the same purpose, but it’s the application of our help and the direction of our growth that varies.

I’m in the process of becoming a world changemaker myself, and having thought a lot about it I want to share the progression everyone needs to go through to maximize their contribution to the world.

And it all starts with self-improvement.

Your capacity to impact others is directly correlated to the size of your self-growth.

Your impact is limited to lower levels when you’re stuck, and it expands when you expand. Many people could multiply their impact simply by improving themselves, their processes, their energy levels, and their discipline so that they have more to give and can give more effectively.

Beyond the self-improvement work, then there’s a progression in how your contribution can be expressed into the world. Making a difference starts with making better choices and leading a more purposeful life-style. It’s shopping more sustainably, incorporating more mindful practices, being more tolerant and accepting of others, incorporating philanthropy in your career, and modeling what it means to live a purposeful life.

Then after that, you’re in a position to give more to causes you care about. Of course this includes your money, but it also includes your time, talent, networks, advocacy, and energy. Most people think to start their giving journey here but the extent of it is limited by the self-improvement and embodied lifestyle that comes before it.

And finally, once you feel like you’re truly giving yourself to causes you care about, now it’s time to lead your own initiatives - Fundraisers, movements, communities, projects. You begin to enroll others and offer them opportunities to live and give for purpose. 

To summarize, this is the simple progression: Pursue your own self-growth so that it’s not a limiting factor. Live in such a way that incorporates impact into your everyday choices. Give your gifts, talents, and resources to causes and others in need. And finally lead your own initiatives that invites other people to join you in this work.

That’s how you make a difference. That’s how you grow your contribution to the world. And that’s what you’re already doing, starting here and investing in your self-growth.

If there’s someone in your life who is making a big difference in the world, send them this episode to acknowledge them and teach them how to expand on that even further!

I’m not perfect at it, but something I try to carry into everything I do is to come from a place of service. I find that I’m at my best when I’m helpful and I’ve found life is most fulfilling when I’m contributing to the well-being of others.

Something that’s an obvious expression of service is sharing - Sharing your resources, sharing your time, sharing your network, sharing your experience. All of it makes a difference and helps the next person on their way.

But not mentioned in that list is sharing your challenges, obstacles, and setbacks. And typically what happens when you share what you’re struggling with is it creates value in two ways:

First is it gives someone else the chance to tap into the joy and fulfillment of being able to help. It’s hard to be helpful if you don’t know how to help, and being vulnerable to bring up your shortcomings invites others to step in and support.

But also, when you share your challenges you create a setting for direct and relatable conversation that becomes more helpful for others. Especially in a group setting, when you speak and ask for help it could seem like it’s selfish.

And I get the argument because you’re asking for people’s time to help you with a problem you’re facing...

But just as significantly, you’re also bringing to light a topic that many people probably see themselves within. This means that they benefit because it gives an important conversation a voice and provides an example that they can personally relate with.

This is the classic example of ‘the question no one is asking’ even though it’s on everyone’s mind. It’s saying “I don’t understand” and asking for clarification on something that a lot of other people probably didn’t understand either.

There are direct ways to share what we have to offer the world with others, and I encourage you to keep doing them to maximize your impact and fulfillment, but perhaps a change in perspective will help you see that you’re also being of service when you’re getting help yourself.

One of the ultimate ends for everything we do to improve our life is to create more happiness. I think that we’re in desperate need for more happiness in the world, and unfortunately it has been harder to come by recently than usual.

But I have a renewed hope that we can right the ship after learning more about Arthur Brooks and his work about happiness. He says that happiness comes from 3 things that matter most - Enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.

First let’s talk about enjoyment. It means that we experience positive emotions in the act of doing thing in our lives. Quality time with people brings us joy. Making progress on something and seeing improvement brings us joy. Having fun and experiencing new things brings us joy.

Then there’s satisfaction. This is also known as experiencing contentment. It’s having a sense of gratification that you’re living a good life, that you’re applying yourself and making the most of opportunities, and that you’re grounded in what you have rather than lusting for what you don’t. Surprisingly, contentment also comes from overcoming challenges in your life.

And last is meaning. This means that what you do has a greater purpose to it. Like sculpting a new life as you raise a child, impacting a cause through your work, and curiously exploring your faith or self. Without meaning, what you do doesn’t have any weight to it - life is just happening but it’s not satiating your soul.

The things that bring us enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. Those are the things that matter most.

This expands into a common theory about happiness, that Brooks also talks about, which is called “eudaimonic happiness”. It’s based on living out the virtues that you’re most proud to embody. This contrasts with another form of happiness called “hedonic happiness” which is rooted in experiencing pleasure.

We can sense the difference in depth when something gives us temporary happiness (like buying new things or indulging in unhealthy sensory experiences) versus when it gives us lasting happiness (that makes us feel genuinely and authentically good about who we are).

So as much as you’re able, lean toward eudaimonia and live a virtuous life to experience true happiness. And that comes from the things that matter most - Enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.