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Weekend Recap 4/1 - 4/5

April 6, 2024
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Don't Focus On Lost Time

April 5, 2024
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We’ve all had moments where we realize that we just wasted our time.

It’s working on that project only to realize that one of the first details as wrong, and you need to redo the whole thing. It’s getting caught in a research or social media rabbit hole and when you snap out of it you can’t believe that hours passed. It’s putting your heart and soul into arranging a present for someone that they hardly appreciate or never use...

Our natural response to this is to get discouraged. We ruminate on all of the other things we could have been doing and that would have been a better use of our time. We feel frustrated because we have so much going on and couldn’t afford to lose any more time, yet we did. 

But the problem is - When you disparage and get upset with yourself about all the ways you wasted your time… You’re just wasting more time and creating even more time debt.

It doesn’t serve you to focus on lost time.

Our way out of any form of debt is to get more efficient with the resources we have available. Rather than incurring more debt and digging ourselves into a deeper hole, we need to offset what we lost with more positive production.

So as it relates to time debt, our solution is to then find ways to get more done in less time. 

Now how do we do that? 

We create efficiencies. We get more out of what we put in by being more focused and organized, by streamlining our processes to reduce waste, and by increasing the quality of what we do.

Practically, this means that when we find ourselves having just wasted time, we need to take corrective action. We need to get right into productive activity that makes up for the lapse we just experienced.

Now this is kind of meta - Preparing this thought for you, I was pulled off schedule helping my Mom with some chores around the house. Not wanting to get behind for the day, I was intentional about transitioning quickly out of that into undistracted work on this. And because I set that intention, I was able to get this done faster and make up for some of the time debt I incurred.

Tony Robbins says “Where your attention goes, energy flows.” So let’s put our attention on the right proactive things to do rather than get stuck on the mistakes we made, making them even bigger mistakes!

If you’re looking to create efficiencies in your time management and daily focus, three of the 9 Super Habits are dedicated to helping you become exponentially more productive. Click here to learn what they are!

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"Quit beating yourself up."

April 4, 2024

I’m sharing this because I care. I realize that as I’m saying this I’m not talking directly to you, but trust me when I tell you that I am talking to you. 

You’re a beautiful, flawed, one of a kind, perfectly imperfect human being. 

You’ve made mistakes and you’ll make some more. You’ve fallen short of being the person you know you can be but you’ve gotten back up. You have what it takes inside you to overcome any obstacle because that’s exactly what you’ve done every time in the past (and if you haven’t overcome it yet then you’re simply in progress).

I imagine you’re one of your toughest critics - Finding fault in big and small things, and not giving full credit to what you’ve accomplished. But know that it’s not a bad thing! It means that you have high standards for yourself and that you genuinely care about the contribution you’re making to the world and others.

In order to start meeting expectations and showing up as everything you know you can be, you need to quit beating yourself up.

Think about what that term translates to. When you beat someone up it means that you assault them, injuring them and leaving them stranded. You violate their safety and create damage that takes time to repair.

While we don’t do this physically to ourselves, on a daily basis we do a version of it emotionally and spiritually. We’re so hard on ourselves when we try something and fail. We turn a mistake into a personal attack on our character and capabilities. Our self-esteem can so easily be shattered by the smallest lapses, and it’s no wonder why our self-confidence is so fragile.

But you can replace this negative voice with one that’s empowering and understanding. You can lead with grace and come from a place of self-love, even when you feel like you don’t deserve it. Any time you catch yourself criticizing your actions, choices, or level of results, transplant your disapproval with acceptance.

How? Pick a mantra to say instead. Catch yourself in the negativity and consciously replace it. And every time you use it and interrupt the previous pattern, you train your brain to think differently. Pick a mantra that’s authentic to you so that it resonates and impacts you.

Unknowingly, the mantra I’ve been using is “I’m in the game! Good for me.” To me this reminds me that I don’t get disappointing results without trying new things or allowing myself to dream bigger, and in saying this mantra I acknowledge that. 

I say all of this for one reason - You are a genuinely awesome person, with a ton of potential. And when you stop allowing yourself to think otherwise, imagine how fired up you’ll be when you start seeing it too?

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Hope Is Not A Strategy

April 3, 2024

Creating a better life for ourselves is actually pretty simple. Rather than overcomplicating things, my mentor Jim Bunch has it broken down into 3 tiers of thought that support us in actually making meaningful progress in our lives.

Those 3 steps are: Goals, strategies, and tactics.

When we have a goal, we have defined the end result that we want to create. It’s a possible reality that we believe will improve the quality of our lives, and we dedicate ourselves to achieving our goals.

The way you do that is by having a strategy. Just like you need a strategy to win a game, we need strategies to achieve our goals.

And once we have a game plan, then it’s just about taking the specific tactical actions that serve as the implementation of the strategy.

Something that I have seen often in others and in myself is having empty goals. This is basically setting an intention for something you want but not really doing anything about creating it. Going back to the 3 steps, a goal needs a strategy and too often we don’t have one. And that’s where I want to highlight something…

Hope is not a strategy.

If we haven’t committed to a specific game plan, that we believe will lead to the desired result if executed, then we’re just hoping it happens on its own.

And while hope is a powerful force in life, in a more practical sense it’s not a true strategy. When you rely on hope you forfeit the idea that the result is within your control, and therefore you're way less likely to take the necessary actions required to make it so.

Let’s say you want to double your business’ revenue this year. What’s the strategy to make that happen? Double clients? Double life-time value? Create another product or offering? All of those are perfectly acceptable strategies that lead to very different daily action items. Hoping that your business will double without a specific idea about how… That’s unlikely to change anything.

Or let’s say you want to decrease in weight. It’s great to set a goal like that, especially if it’s connected to a powerful why. Is the plan to exercise more, change your diet, or both? Or is it just an intention that you have and you don’t know how you’ll do it, you just know you want to?

Anyone who has tried to decrease in weight could tell you that just wanting to will not make it happen and that there are certain strategies that work best for them.

To elaborate on that last example - Of course achieving your goals takes more than just the strategy. There are many people who tell themselves that they want to exercise more and eat healthier, but they don’t. Having the discipline to execute the strategy is what actually creates the results you’re after.

If you want to start achieving your personal and professional goals, and not let your own lack of self-discipline or follow through get in the way, I encourage you to learn learn more about the 9 Super Habits. These are the daily small actions behind the scenes that help you live out being the best version of yourself on autopilot.

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We All Have The Same Purpose

April 2, 2024
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As someone who is extremely impact-oriented and wants to make a huge difference in the world, I am fascinated by what it means for us to have a purpose.

A lot of people put pressure on themselves to discover what their purpose is so that they can passionately fulfill it in their life.

Abraham Maslow, best known for Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, had a theory about purpose that I’ve come to accept. He says that everyone actually has the same purpose.

What is this shared purpose? It comes down to two things: Giving back to the world and becoming all that you can be. In other words, we all exist to reach out fullest potential and use our skills and talents in service of others.

But clearly we’re not all meant to do the same thing... Or be the same person... We’re very different with our own strengths and uniqueness to offer.

The differentiation is that while we all share the same purpose, we’re each tasked with our own mission. And in this way each of us contributes something that no one else is capable of.

So if you feel like you’re lacking purpose in life, understand that your purpose is the same as mine, which is the same as everyone’s. What you’re actually looking for is a worthwhile mission, one that you believe in and that inspires you to dedicate yourself to.

Now here’s the thing - The idea of having a mission is way more temporary. Military operators have many missions that they complete one at a time. So rather than feeling this overwhelming pressure to find your forever life purpose, what if our task was just to be committed to our current mission?

While some people have one life-long mission, many of us have a number of different missions that follow the seasons of our life. If there’s a specific cause you want to impact, it can be your mission to support it through the fundraiser you organize. If you have a young family, your mission can be to take care of their well-being. Even as you’re establishing yourself, your mission could be to prioritize your education and give yourself opportunities.

Our purpose is expressed through our current mission, and knowing that our mission can change gives us permission to pour ourselves into more. It doesn't need to be forever for it to be right. So what do you feel called to do right now? What’s your way of using your gifts and talents in service of others right now? 

When you have more clarity on that, you’ll find that your life becomes a whole lot purposeful because you’ve given your innate purpose a vehicle to be expressed.

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Finding Flow

April 1, 2024

We’ve all had moments where we’ve been so engrossed in something that we lose our sense of time. We can all relate with moments of creative genius or brilliant insight that seemed to come through us involuntarily. It’s one of the most potent, most enlivening experiences we can have, and experts call it being in a state of “flow”.

Popularized by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, people have dedicated their life to figuring out how we can create the conditions of flow to facilitate peak performance. And they’ve arrived at 4 Fs that help anyone discover moments of tapping into their greatest inner potential: Focus, freedom, feedback and 4% challenge.

As it goes for that last one about challenge, there is something called the Flow Channel. You can find yourself in the Flow Channel when you have two things - The right amount of challenge and the right amount of skill. When your skills are being tested to the appropriate amount, and not being over-tested, that’s when one experiences flow.

This theory becomes clearer when you think about the other parts of the spectrum. When someone’s skill is beyond the challenge they’re facing, they experience boredom. Being better than the task does not require that you are engaged in it, and therefore underwhelmed by it and disinterested.

The other part of the spectrum is present when the demands of the challenge far exceed your level of skill. This initiates anxiety as you’re set up for failure and simply incapable of doing the task well.  It’s so far beyond your current skill level that you can’t even learn from it because you’re so disoriented and out of your league.

The formula for finding flow is similar to the one proposed by Anders Ericsson about “Deliberate Practice”. When you practice something that is just beyond your means, just beyond your comfort zone with it, that right amount of challenge is a fertile soil for skill development. Too little challenge and you’re bored, and too much challenge and you’re overwhelmed.

So as it relates to the skill that you’re most dedicated to developing in your life right now, where’s that sweet-spot of engagement? What’s the right amount of challenge? Because if you find it, you’ll lock in deeper than you thought possible!

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Weekend Recap 3/25 - 3/29

March 30, 2024
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Proof That I Don’t Care What Others Think (As Much)

March 29, 2024

Everything in our self-growth exists on a spectrum and I wanted to share a personal story that shows you part of it. 

Throughout my life I’ve always really cared what other people think about me. I didn’t always have the courage to stand up for myself and what I thought was right, especially if it was different from what someone else expected of me. 

I was overly influenced by external validation and always concerned with how things would be perceived by other people. It’s something that I knew wasn’t who I wanted to be, but it was my nature and something I committed myself to working on. 

It didn’t happen in massively transformational ways, but rather frequent subtle shifts. I thought extra about times when I was worried about how my actions would be received. I intentionally chose to hold out on talking about some of the things I did to help others to reinforce my intrinsic reasons for doing it. I realized that my judgment came from this same source, so I began to intentionally reframe my thoughts when I caught myself projecting onto others. It’s not like it happens in every moment of every day, but for years it has been a focus for me in my self-growth.

It was only recently that I noticed how far I’ve come with it.

At the end of my runs I like celebrating by putting my arms in the air like a boxer who just won a fight. It’s my way of taking action to remind myself of what I’m capable of, and how I prioritize doing the things that make me a healthier and happier person.

But I used to try and hide it from other people. At the end of my runs, I’d look around to see if anyone was near me and if I was in the clear I’d put my arms up and have my moment. I believe the motivation behind this was that I cared what others thought about me, and I didn’t want anyone to think I was weird or crazy (even though logically I knew no one would think twice about it.)

Well I noticed a few weeks ago, at the end of my run, I was making eye contact with people and walking proudly past them with my arms in their celebratory pose. It wasn’t my first time doing it this comfortably, but it was the time I realized how different my behavior was than it used to be. It served as a timestamp of progress, my current actions and fears compared to past actions and fears, and it clearly demonstrated to me how much progress I’d made over time. 

Again, I share this story because the same is probably true for you. Maybe not about caring what others think, but that thing that you’ve been working on (and you don’t know if it has gotten any better), I’m sure it has and your moment to discover just how much you’ve grown is right around the corner!

I’m curious to know - Is it helpful when I share stories like this to let you in on my own world of growth? DM me on instagram @self.improvement.daily your thoughts , I’d love to hear them!

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“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”

March 28, 2024

Self-belief is one of the most fundamental elements to a fulfilling, purposeful, and high-achieving life. Ed Mylett calls it your internal thermostat and how we’re never going to achieve beyond our self-image. Mel Robbins says that lack of self belief causes us to criticize, judge, and tear ourselves down from being who we know we can be. 

I say it as the intro to the podcast every single day because I believe it to be true - “A better world starts with a better you and yes you can!” If you don’t have self-belief then you don’t have the foundation required to start, and therefore you never will.

That’s why I want to highlight today’s quote: “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”

There’s a distance between where you are now and your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations for a better future. It’s not your reality yet, but with the right strategies you can bridge that distance and make it so. 

Believing you can, which is an entirely inner process, gets you halfway there. You don’t need to strain and grind and hustle… Your first step to believe you can, which is the biggest, takes you halfway.

And beyond that believing you can catalyzes what’s required of you to go the rest of the way. With self-belief the courageous actions you need to take to finish the job don’t feel so hard or straining. They’re in alignment, they come with conviction, and they’re just a natural byproduct of how you show up in the world.

Think of it this way: Who do you think is more likely to achieve their goal of running a marathon. A person who believes they can will show up differently for their training on sore days, be more disciplined in their diet, and get the rest they need. A person who thinks it’s a stretch for them and beyond their capacity has more space to make excuses, get distracted, and lose focus.

Now telling yourself that you believe something is true and actually believing it are two different things. Belief takes time. You need to prove it to yourself. And there’s a core subconscious process that is on 24/7 shaping your belief system and governing the way you show up to every moment.

If you want to learn more about how that works, and what you need to do on a daily basis to start getting your beliefs about your money, health, and success to work for you and not against you, I’ve put together a pre-recorded Masterclass about the Identity Behavior Feedback loop that walks you through it step-by-step.

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One Drip At A Time

March 27, 2024

An analogy that I like to use all the time for self-improvement is that of a garden hose. How often in our lives can we relate with the fact that we’re working hard and applying pressure, the hose is turned all the way up, yet only a weak stream of water is coming out the nozzle.

Our natural response is to try and pour more on and work harder, turn up the water even more, when logically we know that there’s probably a kink in the hose that we need to fix. When we become aware of the kink and take measures to fix it, our life can very quickly and dramatically start flowing with only minor adjustments.

However, the tricky part is not all of the hang ups in our lives are that obvious or that dramatic. Rather than there being a big bulging kink, maybe there are a few areas that are leaking or dripping out of the hose.

Let me take a step back. As people dedicated to accelerating on our path and in our self-growth journey, we want to do it all. We want to get into a better morning routine and work on our public speaking and spend less time on our phone and experiment with new productivity tactics and learn a new language and… and… and.

And trying to do it all at once stretches us too thin, causing us to make progress on none of it (or holding ourselves to a standard that is unsustainable).

That’s why our approach should be to address one thing at a time, to focus on one drip in the hose at a time. When we patch up our first, then we can work on our second. And we fix that one we move on to our third. 

It’s unnatural for us to be patient in a world that’s trying to hijack our attention at every moment, but you’d be surprised to find how fast you can get many things done when you do them just one at a time.

This is where I think it’s important to have a focus in your self-growth. If someone asks you the question “What are you working on?”, do you have a simple answer?

While it doesn’t make sense to neglect every part of life in service of just one, we make the most progress, fastest, when we have one emphasis that stands out among the rest.

So what’s your focus right now? What’s your one drip that you want to shore up to get personal and professional results to flow in your life?

If you’re looking for a place to start, I recommend you learn about the 9 Super Habits. These are the 9 most high leverage, most impactful, best ‘bang for your buck’ things you can do to fix your hose and get things flowing to the extent that they should be.

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