Self Improvement Daily Podcast

For those who don’t know, Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur and social media personality with a ton of influence. 

One of Gary’s pillar principles described in his book “Thank You Economy” is the 51/49 principle, which basically states that you should give 51% of the time and receive 49% of the time.  He says this is valuable in business because then you have leverage in the relationship, but it is also a good tactic to use in a more casual capacity because it prepares you for the long term and whatever that entails. 

So today’s tip is to use the 51/49 principle, or more conventionally known as giving more than you take. 

This concept works for a few reasons. First is reciprocity. It is a human condition to want to remove debts you owe to someone else because holding debt is uncomfortable by nature. This principle positions you to reap the benefits of others’ reciprocity. Additionally, giving is an innate mental boost, and there are physiological benefits to giving to other people.

So how can you give? Well you have more to offer than you might think. Obviously you can aid someone financially, but more creatively, you can also offer your attention, expertise, emotional support, advice, or time. All of these things are an asset that possess their own equity and can easily be shared with others as part of this 51/49 paradigm.

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to create a tip out of the following audio clip, but I think the lesson speaks for itself.  Listen to what actor Jim Carrey has to say about fear, living in the present, and doing what you love.

As a huge Jim Carrey fan, this clip always moves me, and encourages me to pursue my passion, regardless of what challenges I might face.  As crazy as life can be, you only have one, and it is yours.

A big component to personal development is goal setting, and this tip will make sure you are working toward your goals in the right way, specifically by SMART goals.

No, I’m not talking about having goals around your intelligence. SMART, in this case is meant to be used as an acronym. Each letter represents a different contributing factor to a well crafted goal. SMART stands for, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

To quickly breakdown each of these, specific means that the goal is narrow enough so that it can be independently focused on and worked toward. Measurable means that the result can be tracked in an objective way, eliminating any doubt you have about your progress. Attainable and Realistic go hand in hand, because they both talk about the importance of the goal actually being possible and can be achieved. Goals that aren’t attainable or realistic are not beneficial. Last is timely, meaning that you have established a time frame by which you want to have completed the goal, creating an accountability to work toward it. 

Together, these factors provide a complete framework to achieve your goals. It has been adopted in many different industries, from professional sports, to corporate suites, to personal development. 

The best thing to do if you want to start creating SMART goals today is to figure out what goal you want to accomplish, then unpack that goal into simpler components using the SMART principles. For example, instead of setting the goal “work out more”, it would be smarter to have the goal, “workout for 45 minutes 4 days of every week”.  Do you see how much neater that is, and how it provides a plan of action just based on how it is written?

I want to share something I learned at sales training that really stuck with me. It is a very empathetic technique that doesn’t feel natural at first, but with repeated use it gets a lot easier.  I myself am still working on presenting it smoothly.  

What I was taught in sales, is that its important to first probe your target to figure out how you can deliver value, Then, explain why your product or service fills that need, with the close coming at the end of that explanation.  The very small part I want to focus on here is when you check to see if your communication was effective.

The tip. Instead of asking the clarifying question “Do you understand”, instead ask “Did I explain that well?”.

Framing the clarifier in this way seems subtle but it is packed with implications. Most notably, if the point wasn’t effectively communicated, stating it as an “I” statement, "Did I explain that well?", implies that you are the one responsible for the misunderstanding. This is important because it ensures that you are being respectful of the target’s intelligence level while making sure they understand exactly what you are trying to say.  Growing on that, putting the responsibility on yourself is an act of humility that often goes appreciated in relationships, and anything that strengthens the rapport in the conversation is a step closer to a sale. Lastly, by allowing the target to be disassociated from the error, they are more likely to admit if they don’t completely understand, which will let you get deeper into your pitch.

You can train yourself to say, “Did I explain that well” instead of “do you understand” just as you would train any sales technique, which includes rehearsals, role plays, and memorization. And if you manage to make the substitution naturally, I’m curious to hear about your results!

I want to share something from Kim Kaupe, the CEO of the SuperFan Company, who talks about the most effective method to work your way to the top of your company, which is simply by helping out.

This would help not only at work, but in just about anything! People appreciate when you go out of your way to lend a helping hand.

If you need to spend time digging deeper into something, whether it is to solve a problem, or come up with something creative, try creating a vision board. This isn’t a novel concept, some of our first projects in school involved creating big poster boards. However, a lot of us have forgotten how useful of a tool this actually is.

Let’s take a step back and talk about why it works. First, getting everything down in front of you in one place does wonders for creating associations. Instead of spending our brain power recalling information, you can dedicate your energy to finding those hidden relationships subtle similarities that help solve the puzzle.  Also, your capability to process the information increases when the thoughts are presented in a tangible way, because by nature it activates more areas of your brain. 

To give it a try, when you have something big you want to figure out, you need to be prepared. The limiting factor in this equation is having the resources to create a good visual representation of your thoughts. So, something you could do proactively is to have sticky notes, colored pens, a poster board, and all necessary tools on hand so you can jump right into it when it is time. This is exactly why a lot of companies have whiteboards readily accessible throughout the office.

The visual representation can take a bunch of different forms. Whether it is scrapbooking, writing ideas on stickies, or drawing charts and webs, try to find the way that makes the most sense to you. The bigger and more colorful the presentation, the better!

In this powerful clip, Mel Robbins explains to someone who is struggling to find meaningful relationships how their life would transform if they were to support other people more. Without further adieu lets jump into it.

PLAY AUDIO

So, be a cheerleader, and as Mel Robbins explained, it works for obvious reasons in all facets of your life. But, what does that look like from an actionable standpoint?  For starters, ask people about their lives, but that’s an obvious one. Something I like doing is when responding to a direct message, email, or text, talk about them at the beginning of your response before sharing about yourself. And also really important, minimize your complaining. It comes off as a very self-centered act and it doesn’t really make anything better.

Being a cheerleader is a classic way to improve your life by improving others. It comes in many forms, so don’t shy away from trying new things out!

Are you familiar with the expression “trust your instincts”? If the right thing to do is to trust our instincts, then why do we hesitate so much when it comes to taking action?

Lets discuss moving fast when committing to decisions you have already made. 

It is scientifically proven that the urge to act fades away the longer we wait to take action. This happens because we have more time to come up with excuses and try to rationalize our behavior. This is due to our brains are that are hardwired to seek comfort and reject uncertainty, so our brains work overtime to eliminate spontaneous urges. So, if there is something you want to try, or a courageous act you want to pursue, you are more likely to follow through and do it if you move fast.

Hesitation is the enemy in this scenario because it gives us more time to overthink things, when our gut instinct is telling us what we want to do. Trust your instincts and do it. This concept is demonstrated in one of my favorite quotes, “Don’t pump fake the money shot”, which is all about failing to act in the big moment. 

So, one way to move fast is to develop a starting ritual when you feel a moment of hesitation. This ritual can be a form of self-talk, like a motivating affirmation.  Alternatively, it could be a breathing pattern, a nice stretch, or even a clap. Think about which of these options seems most realistic in your life, and try it the next time you feel some hesitation.