Self Improvement Daily Podcast

Let’s be practical - everything around us is constantly changing.  Nothing is ever how it used to be.  But in its own way, isn’t that beautiful?  Listen to how Lucia Giovannini, a rockstar Italian author, life coach, and academic views this ever changing environment.

This message is to accept and welcome change. The more we resist the natural flow of things around us, the less comfortable we will be as the tide shifts. To counteract that discomfort, try to intentionally put yourself in uncomfortable situations to simulate that change. It will prepare you for it when it comes.

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path”.

Storms are destructive, inconvenient, and limiting by nature. So, what good could possibly come out of a storm? Well, with a little bit of optimism and positivity, it is not a stretch to reason that the change brought by a storm can serve a decent amount of good.

Storms make a mess. Their winds pick things up and displace them, and after a storm we must rebuild to restore how things are. We can think of this as an opportunity instead of restoring to the previous state, we can build from anew what we wanted all along. In thinking that way, we can create the life and circumstance that we want in our life.

Obviously, the storm is just a metaphor for trauma in your life. But, by flipping the script, you can weather the storm and see the next steps as an opportunity to build.  Shifting the intent of the storm, and the reason it was introduced in your life, allows you to have more of an open-mind about the purpose the storm is actually serving.   So, “not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.”

I love it when two opinions I really respect agree on something.  This rarely happens in an academic setting, but fortunately for us it does in the case of Allen Gannett and Jonah Berger.  Allen Gannett, the CEO of TrackMaven, shared in his book, The Creative Curve, that the most important factor to vitality is that the concept has an optimal tension between being novel and being familiar. Basically, this means that people prefer when things are familiar enough to not be overwhelmed but novel enough to catch their attention.

Jonah Barger, a marketing professor at the Wharton School of Business, explains a similar phenomenon in his book, Invisible Influence, but instead relates it to our everyday behavior. He says that what we choose to imitate and what we choose to reject also play this fine line between familiarity and novelty.  

The key takeaway is know your optimal tension.  

This exists in your decision making, when pitching ideas at work or in conversation, all throughout our lives.  We are more likely to have success in something when it is positioned correctly given its environment.  

Find your optimal tension by being observant of the things around you. Start ranking how novel and how familiar certain things seem to you, and compare those to the perceptions of those around you. Noting the differences will help you cater your communication with them so that you can better relate with them.  

Beyond that, you can use this for how you identify personally. What characteristic traits would you use to describe yourself, and where do they lie on the novelty-familiarity spectrum in society? You can then translate that to your stance on certain issues, in your style, and the way you exist to create consistency with your own optimal tension.  

Former CEO and founder of Starbucks Howard Schultz clearly has an acumen for leadership.  Schultz speaks on what he did as a leader to grow Starbucks to astronomical proportions.

That’s great advice from a great leader. This message is to instill mentality. Whether you are the leader of a team or an important part of one, you can instill mentality in your team and lead by example, creating a contagious and consistent message about how the work should be done. Be extra aware of opportunities for you to lead by example, and watch how your team members respond.

Oftentimes the redundancy of our alarm clock causes us to become desensitized to the sound. Not only will a custom alarm clock provide a little variety in the morning that abruptly gets your attention, but it is an opportunity to create something that activates you so that you never have to press the snooze button.

I think I can explain this best by playing my own alarm clock for you. It is a motivational message from my grandma.  And to preface, she actually loves me very much.  Have a listen:

“Brian, wake up!  Get going!  You are just lazy, and very soft.  So you gotta get up, do those pushups, run those miles.  Or else.  What if?”

I’ll tell you this, I haven’t snoozed my alarm one time. But to be honest, I don’t use this alarm every morning. I choose to save it for important mornings where I need extra motivation, so that it works well and I don’t get desensitized to it. What’s interesting though, is I have found that the effect has persisted with other alarms because I always have my grandma’s voice in the back of my mind when I am considering snoozing.

The key to creating a successful alarm clock is to be introspective. I reasoned that when I snooze it’s because I make an excuse about why I shouldn’t wake up.  Find that root cause within yourself, and address it directly in your message.

Off the top of your head, can you think about that one person that loves being the center of attention, and always seems to mold the conversation to talk about themselves? How does that make you feel? Well, with a little conscious effort, you can make sure that person isn’t you.

Talk about others first, and once you make a habit of it, you will naturally begin to have better conversations, and as a result, relationships. It’s about having the personal expectation that sets you up for success incorporating this tip.

It might seem unnatural at first, but there are easy ways to practice directing the conversation toward other people. First, is the way that you respond to messages. Over text and email, oftentimes, there is a lot of content covered, addressing different questions and points. My suggestion is that you respond in this order by following up on the point about that affects their life the most first, and then last about yourself.

Responding this way is effective because it frames your whole communication in a way that optimizes their interest. It is human nature to love talking and sharing about yourself, so when you make “them” the center of attention by talking about them first, they will be more likely to view the communication positively, and will be more inclined to invest more in their response and their relationship with you.

It’s a little trickier in person, because if someone asks a targeted question about you, it can come off as rude to deflect it and redirect the conversation about them. So, in this case, I’d say best practice is to just follow up while the conversation is transitioning and ask them about something to speak on the same topic. This is the classic “enough about my family, how if your family doing?” response.  

In short, by talking about others first, you emphasize that they are the center of attention, and in turn they will be more invested in their interaction with you. Start in your text messages and go from there.

“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you”. I feel like this quote embodies a common benefit to positivity that goes unnoticed. Positivity gives you control of your perceptions.  Our perceptions are simply the way in which our brains interpret our external reality. It might be best to think about it like a machine. Our external reality works as an input into the machine. The machine changes the input into something else, and then on the other end we get an output, which in this case is our perception. With a lens of positivity, we can mold these inputs into a form that is better received by our brains and body.

This positive lens can be created a number of ways. For instance, you can look for the benefit of the doubt as well as emphasize the good parts in certain situations. You can also assume good intentions in other people. When negativity does present itself in your life, you can use these techniques to show that it isn’t all so bad, and you can focus on the less threatening parts.

The alternative to this, which is mentioned in the second half of the quote, is circumstances have control over you.  This implies that you are subject to the way that life happens to you, and that lack of autonomy can lead to negativity. 

So remember this,“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you”. Take ownership of your personal development, and your perceptions.

As an actor in this world, it is really important to know everything that is going on around you. Not only will being informed help you find common ground with others, but it will help you find and realize your place in the larger world.

Alright, so staying informed is important, but it can seem daunting. Fortunately for us, there are some really good resources at our fingertips that can help us in the process. With a more reasonable expectation for what staying informed really means, you can incorporate it into your routine.  

So, nowhere are a few of those resources. TV programming is a great news source, but our lives have changed and we can’t always dedicate half an hour to watching the TV.  My favorite resource is something called The Morning Brew, which is a daily email that summarizes major events and trends in business.  For a more general email based resource, The Skimm is really effective too. Or, if you prefer podcasting, then The Daily is great. Lastly, if you prefer video, Philip DeFranco has a great YouTuber that covers current events and offers a forum to discuss what everyone thinks.