Do you have personal decision making framework? How do you reason between the option you know is good for you, and the option that you want? For most of us, it is a very conscious process to suppress the urge to indulge in pleasure. Let’s think about how that decision relates to our overall happiness. Lucia Giovannini, an Italian spiritual teacher, transformational coach, and now best-selling author for the book “A Whole New Life”, shares her relationship with pleasure and happiness.

“How to stop being driven by pleasure and instead go towards happiness. There are so many people who have a house, a family, a job and yet are deeply frustrated, dissatisfied. There was a period in my life where I was feeling like that. I think the problem is that in our society we tend to confuse pleasure with happiness.  Real happiness emerges when what we do makes our lives and the world around  us better.  Happiness is found by doing the right things, by making investments that allow us to accumulate emotional and mental wealth helping us to grow, to develop quality. Pleasure has other characteristics, it is a short term reward. When we taste pleasure we are consuming something.  We come across this kind of choice every day, even in the simplest of things. When we get home from work, do we invest our time in reading a stimulating book, in volunteering, or do we sink in front of the TV? In the long run, which choice will give the most reward?”

To summarize, be conscious of your small choices because they have downstream effects. Make a habit of making choices that lead you to happiness.

Let's hear from the perspective of a thought leader in the space, world renowned author and public speaker Simon Sinek. Sinek is best known for his famous “Start with Why” Ted Talk, Simon is known for being and idealist with a refreshing practicality. Simon mentions why he choose to be an optimist in his life.

Simon captures the decision we all have to see positivity and optimism in our lives. Positivity provides the framework for good things to happen in our lives, and as Simon mentioned, to create things that live beyond our lives.

Okay I’m going to ask you a question. The question is, What do you enjoy doing?

Your default answer might have been something like “I work out” or “I genuinely enjoy my personal projects”, but those are not acceptable answers, and here is why. We live in a society that emphasizes productivity and efficiency, and we reason that what is productive is what also brings us joy. I’m guiltier than anyone about this, but I want us to set that aside and focus on the raw version of this. What do we genuinely do for ourselves? Can you even think of the last time you did something like that?

Well, lets talk about do something for yourself. The first step to doing something for yourself is figuring out what that is. If you have the time, take yourself through a little brainstorm. What are your hobbies? When are you happiest? What do you wish you could make time for? Do some soul searching on not only what brings you joy, but why that brings you joy.

Whether it’s watching Netflix reruns of your favorite TV show, playing with your dog, or taking a long shower, give yourself that moment to fuel your mind and body with exactly what it wants to do. It will be the refreshing push you needed to get the most out of everything else you’ve got going on. We can’t neglect to take care of ourselves. Prioritizing some personal time is an important part of the equation.

We all live our own lives, in our own ways, gathering our own impressions and perspectives. This means that we all develop an understanding that is limited to our own lens. We are often blind to the way that things are when they don’t align with what we see. It’s a classic, “You don’t know what you don’t know", scenario.  

The same happens professionally. We may think we are good at something, and that we are meeting expectations, when in reality we may not be performing as well as we thought. Our limited scope doesn’t always paint the full picture, and it is important to acknowledge that. These areas are called blind spots, which are areas where we have an inability to recognize where we are deficient. Fortunately for us, though, there are ways to overcome our blind spots.

Try using a group think approach. This is why working in a team can be so effective. Instead of relying and moving forward with your own impressions, convinced they are correct, you can hear other people’s impressions and realize that your decision making may be neglecting key factors.  For this to be effective, everyone in the group must have an open mind and realize that the same information may be interpreted a number of ways. Then reconvene and find a compromise among everyone’s insights likely leads to the most effective decision.

For matters that affect you as an individual, it is very similar. Have people in your network that challenge your insights because their influence will help you gain clarity to what exists in your blind spots. You then take it from there, knowing what you didn’t before. You can begin filling in the gaps in your skill-set or your thought processes.

Patience! It is a pivotal component to success that doesn’t get enough attention. I can’t say this any better than CEO of the Superfan Company and Forbes 30 under 30 Kim Kaupe.

It’s good to set ambitious goals and have lofty expectations for yourself and your achievements, but understand that it is not going to happen over night. Most things in life require a whole lot of hard work, dedication, and time. Patience really is a virtue. Embrace it as a tool that can help you get the most out of whatever you are passionate about.  

Admitting when you are in the wrong goes against what our brains and bodies are designed to do, but creates amazing effects when successfully accomplished.  

It’s human nature to protect ourselves. We have so many innate defense mechanisms that were put in place to keep us from experiencing life-threatening moments. However, in this case, these techniques do more harm than good.

The primary reason we have a difficult time admitting that we are wrong is because our competency is put into question by our failure.  But, why does that happen?  It’s because we have a tendency to speak in superlatives. And that first time when we are expressing our opinion, we often do so in a stronger way than we actually mean, and our stance must remain fixed to support that statement.  We overcompensate for our position and become more narrow-minded out of fear that we will be viewed as worse. The first thing to do to overcome this defense mechanism is to create an environment that welcomes a debate in the way you phrase your stance.  Say something like, “I realize I don’t know the full picture”, or, “This is just my take on the situation”, to create an inclusive environment.

And then after that, when the moment does come to admit you are wrong, do it sooner rather than later. The longer the conversation goes without you conceding, cements you deeper into your stance, and makes it that much harder to pull your way out.  

People respect when we can admit when we are wrong. It is a sign of strength and confidence.  Just another tip for us to think about as we are on our pursuit of personal development.

We all know the classic Thanksgiving line, “What are you thankful for?”. Some families go around the table and have everyone express gratitude for a blessing in their life.  This is awesome, and it should be encouraged. I want to quickly share a few ways to make that affirmation more impactful, both internally and externally.

The big suggestion I’d make is to share something personal. Think about the last real challenge or struggle you faced. What emotions did you feel, and why did you feel them?  What is the root cause of it, and how did it resolve?  Placing yourself back in the shoes of when you were experiencing that challenge will help you reflect on what got you out of it. Also, giving credit to the people, circumstances, and actions that changed your path are a great source of gratitude.

If you haven’t come across something hugely challenging recently, then think about the biggest change you experienced in your life. How was it before, how is it now, and what lies at the core of that change?  I expect there is a huge blessing built into that change that would be good to share and acknowledge.

Take some time now to think about how either of these thought experiments might relate to your life, and be prepared to get introspective and personal when sharing what you’re thankful for, because that’ll mean the most to yourself and those that you are enjoying the Thanksgiving with.

In a chemical reaction, certain molecules, the reactants, change their bonds to form new molecules, the products. This process also involves an exchange of energy. If you remember what an endothermic reaction is, it means that energy must be put into the system to turn reactants into products. This means that a certain threshold of energy needs to be added to the system to induce the change, and that amount of energy is called “activation energy”.

Well, activation energy doesn’t just exist in chemistry. It exists within each of us and our own actions. We all know that feeling of “I just can’t get up” or “I just don’t have the energy right now”. That is activation energy holding us back! We also know, that once we get up and get going, our minds change and the task becomes way easier.  This is all possible by overcoming that initial activation energy, and using momentum to drive us forward.

There are few really good ways to get yourself to invest that initial activation energy to get moving. First, is to use a starting ritual, which is a mental shortcut to action.  My favorite is Mel Robbins’ 5 second rule, count down from 5 and act on 0. Another great technique is taking a “Just show up” mentality. Let’s say you want to workout in the morning, a full training regimen might seem daunting. But, by telling yourself you’ll “just show up” to the gym, you dilute the commitment required to take action, and more easily beat the activation energy barrier.

It is important to know how our bodies work so that we can have more control over them, and do more of the things we want to do!

Many of us at our core are competitors, which means one thing: We want to win. We work late, go the extra mile, spread ourselves thin, and do what it takes to gain a competitive advantage. Is that what it takes to win?

Well, what about the game of life, are we winning at that?  It’s a much larger thought and a longer conversation, but I really appreciated something Gary Vaynerchuk said on the topic recently. 

“That game itself is the win.  And it’s no different than being a mother, or a teacher, or a public servant, or a lawyer (you love reading law).  The people that win in life are the ones that found the thing they like the most and it sustained their lifestyle. The reason most people fail is that they want a lifestyle that their love doesn’t support because they worry about people’s opinions of them in their lifestyle.”

Let’s talk about how to win. Yes, your career is important, and it is fulfilling to be the best at what you do. But, remember to view that in the context of your entire life.  How do your actions relate with your family-life, passions, spirituality, health, and relationships? Stepping back and being competitive in a more holistic way, to get the most out of all areas of your life, is a better goal for all of us as humans. Gary Vee does a good job of always providing a perspective and scope to the hustle.