I really like the simplicity of this quote.  It’s a perfect example of how we too quickly jump to the extreme scenario in our life without understanding the steps to get there.  And this one is specifically significant with respect to one of my primary motivators which is impact.

It comes from an amazing quote from Pat Flynn, "If you want to change someone’s life, you have to change their day first".  Flynn has built an impressive personal brand and following through his blog, “The Smart Passive Income Blog”, and a few different podcasts he hosts.  The quote means that much more from him because he started small and practiced the grassroot tactics necessary to eventually build his empire.

All great things take time. It’s just like what Simon Sinek famously said about leadership and romantic love. It’s not that you at the flip of a switch can call yourself a leader or say you fell in love. It was an accumulation of things that eventually brought your life to that state. There is no one moment.

Well I believe that for most of us, the same goes for having an impact on someones life. Value needs to be delivered and received over time in order for it to be life-changing. I mean that’s a tall task! Conveniently for my explanation, a lifetime is simply made up of many days, so you can’t change a life until you’ve changed at least one of those days.

So, be practical and start with the right approach Seek to better the days of those around you if you want to change their life.  It could be as simple as a smile, a warm greeting, an extra 10 minutes helping on a task, or lending your ear.  

If you want to change someone’s life, you have to change their day first.

Theoretically, doing the right thing is always the right thing. However, we need to be aware of the assumption built into this, that we all share the same sense of right and wrong. We can all agree that is not true.

When evaluating this I always try to go back to intentions.  In fact, intentions are everything to me. If someone does something that negatively affects me but they didn’t mean to, I can’t find myself being upset by it.  Alternatively if someone helps me out, but do so as a way of getting something for themselves, I am good at seeing through the fluff and calling it what it is.  

The reality is, determining what the “right thing” is all comes back to intentions.  If you believe that you are doing the right things for the right reasons, then that’s something that I support and you should lean into.  At the end of the day we are all meant to live the life that is uniquely ours, and we all have our own measures of what is good and what is evil.  We each need to understand, and more importantly, be honest with ourselves when we are deciding how we feel about our own choices and behavior.

But the core takeaway from this convoluted, complicated, and subjective mess: We will find the most fulfillment and joy living the life that best aligns with our values and intentions.  Do the things that make you proud when you look in the mirror, whatever those “right things” might be for you.

Do you have to think twice about making your morning cup of coffee? Aimee Tariq shares a few tidbits about caffeine addiction, and the effects it has on you.

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If you were told that all of your responsibilities and requirements could go away for one hour right now, what would you do?  See, it’s not that easy to answer is it. That’s because we get so caught up in the to do lists and the objectives.  We forget at the heart of it all, the work we do is all in the name of happiness. So, why do we sacrifice that so often?

There is one word in the quote that really stands out, and it’s not happy. It’s the word “you”.  "If it makes you happy, then go for it."  It’s already hard enough deciding what to do in the free hour scenario I previously explained, but now let’s get out of our heads and be practical.  Are you really doing what makes you happy? Or, is it possible you’re happiness is being biased or guided by your understanding of what others believe makes you happy? Honestly, social norms are strong and often act at a level we can’t perceive. The only way to truly do what makes you happy is to take a step back and reflect.

I get it. Life doesn’t go according to plan, and sometimes it takes a step or two backward to go forward. There are necessary evils that may not be joyful in the moment but they contribute to a larger, ultimate joy.  Well, I would encourage you, if that’s the case, and you’re clear on what makes you happy, then go for it!

This message comes from Affirmation Addict Payal Aggarwal. As she explains in the interview, affirmations are positive statements that communicate your ambitions with the world and help turn them into reality.  I had her break down the fundamental components to a solid affirmation routine.

I know that was packed with material so lets quickly review it. First, is set the intention, or what change or addition you want to manifest in your life. Then, create an affirmation in present terms that helps communicate that intention to the universe, and last repeat that affirmation at a frequency that is comfortable to you but best done at least once a day.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, come back on Sunday to hear the full conversation!

This message is a technique by an individual I really admire from Joel Brown. In his coaching business, he gets results by encouraging his clients to step outside of their comfort zone.

I recently implemented this for myself and put it up on my wall, and although it’s too early to advocate completely for it I want to share the theory behind it. First, it is very visual and a constant reminder of what you want to achieve, serving a similar function as a vision board. Then, when you do achieve a stretch goal, you get the validation and reward of expanding your circle, which motivates you tackle the next one. And last, it forces you to specifically list things that exist outside of your comfort zone, and in the pursuit of achieving them you experience growth as you navigate new frontiers, making the uncomfortable more comfortable.

Recently, I spent a weekend in Mexico volunteering through a company called “The Greatness Foundation”.  We built a house for a family in need, visited orphanages, and added love to the community. It was a very emotional and heart-filling experience and I am so grateful for it. It provided an immense amount of perspective in two very powerful ways.

First, for the blessings and privileges I live with on a daily basis that I often take for granted, and second for the realization of what poverty looks like in the world and how widespread it is. The work we did in one community, and specifically for one family is life-changing, but knowing that one family is just a grain of sand compared to all of the people in need was overwhelming to me.

That’s where the story of the starfish comes in. The founder of the Greatness Foundation, Mike Sherbakov, shared a story that put our volunteer work this weekend all in perspective. 

A girl is on a beach and on by one, bending over, picking up a starfish, and throwing it into the ocean. The tide was low on a hot summer day, and all of the starfish were bound to be dried up before the tide came back. 

An old, cynical man walks up to her and says “what are you doing?” 

She answers “I’m saving the starfish, they’re going to die if I don’t help”. 

The man replies, “there’s miles of beach in each direction with thousands of starfish, there’s nothing you could do to make a difference”.

The girl picks up one starfish, throws it in the ocean, and says “I made a difference for that one”.

The truth of the world’s problems are huge, but if we each focus on our own role, and saving our own starfish, then the world quickly becomes a much better place.  Focus on your cause, be present with the people around you, and live a life of service and you’ll pick up more starfish than you knew possible.

The Habit Loop can be separated into 4 parts which are Cues, Cravings, Responses, and Rewards.

The cue is the trigger that starts the entire process. Our behaviors are very responsive to our environment, so for that reason it is very important to control the cues we surround ourselves with. To make cues more effective, the trick is to make them obvious. If you want to read more at night, put your book on your pillow. There is no confusing what your intention was and that cue will remind you to read when the time is right.

Next are cravings. Cravings are the sense of anticipation you feel after experiencing the cue. What has only recently been understood is that cravings provide a spike of dopamine greater than the spike you receive when actually doing the behavior. This makes cravings extremely influential when it comes to our habits and behavior.

And next is the response. This is the behavior or action taken as a result, or response, to the cue and craving. If there is a certain positive behavior you want to take action on more often, the best thing you can do is make that action easy. It limits the friction you feel when performing the behavior and will help you execute on it more often. For example, if you’re training for a half-marathon, just focus on putting your running shoes on. It’s an easy action to take, and once you’ve made it that far you are much more likely to continue on go for a run.

And last is the reward. The reward is the mechanism that determines whether or not you should do the behavior again.  And given that our brains are still operating in evolutionary mode, we must remember that our perception of reward is limited and best summarized as this, "that which is immediately punished is avoided".

Atomic Habits has been for me one of the best reads I’ve had in years. I highly suggest you pick it up and check it out for yourself!

We’ve dove into detail in the first 3 parts of the Habit Loop presented in James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits.  It starts with a cue, which creates a craving, which induces a response and leaves us with reward.

Rewards are crucial to the habit formation process because we need to know which habits are worth keeping. The experience at the end whether positive or negative, reinforces the behavior you just did so that you can later decide if you want to do it again. This also makes sense evolutionarily.  A great example is sex. The reason sex feels so good is because sexual reproduction is the objective and mechanism of natural selection. So, those animals that were rewarded for doing it more often were more likely to have more offspring carry their genes in the next generation. The core concept is, what is rewarded is repeated, and what is punished is avoided.

Now, here’s the tough part. Our brains are still in survival mode and immediately attribute rewards to their triggers to see if it should repeat it. For instance, take smoking. The rush of nicotine provides a reward, but in the long run smoking that cigarette does more harm than good. So, there’s an interesting distinction that needs to be addressed when trying to build a new positive habit. What is immediately rewarded is repeated, and what is immediately punished is avoided.

So, to make a positive habit, which usually presents a delayed reward, more frequent, it needs to be more immediately satisfying. His suggestion is to associate the positive behavior with a natural immediate reward. For example, after finishing a glass of water to hydrate, have a sugary grape. Or after meditating, acknowledge it on a goal tracking sheet. Both of those immediate rewards build a strong enough association to encourage the behavior again.