Self Improvement Daily Podcast

A question we were asked a lot as a kid but hardly ever any more is “Who is your hero?”. It’s funny because the answer was so meaningless then, but it’s everything now.

My hero is my Grandpa, Paul Shaw. It wasn’t until recently that I realized he has been the strongest driving force in my life, even though he has been deceased for over a decade. He was a standout college student-athlete, and that’s all I wanted to be. He was a successful entrepreneur, and here I am trying to make a name for myself and create something that matters like my grandpa did. But most interestingly, he is my biggest fear. Let me explain.

My grandpa grew up the son of immigrants in a Brooklyn superb. His father wasn’t around and his mom was terminally ill for most of his childhood, so he had to keep himself alive. From these beginnings, he earned a scholarship to play college basketball at Harvard, graduated Summa Cum Laude, and was awarded a government grant to start his career. He overcame extreme hardship to make a name for himself, and my biggest fear is that I don’t know if I could do the same if I were to face significant, unrelenting, survival mode adversity. In fact, that is my biggest insecurity.

That’s why he is my hero because he excelled in the area I see myself most deficient. He is the example I need in the face of my greatest fears, and he is the strength I strive to emulate in my own life. I don’t think it is uncommon for heroes to be born out of fear, and I think that’s part of the reason why I look up to him so much. It comes as the most sincere gesture of respect. So I ask you this: Who is your hero, and why?

This thought comes from Cuyla Coogan, a woman leading members of the LGBT community, and encouraging others to be themselves and make a difference while doing so. She’s well versed in the challenges the LGBT community faces, and has experienced them firsthand. Her response to the adversity present is simply love. In the video,Cuyla reflects on the role love has played in her life, past and present.

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This is a special reflection. I experienced a similar resistance to love, I used to hold on to it too tightly instead of share it with others. But I’ve changed my ways and you can too. Love is the language of the universe and the world needs more of it. Be the difference you want to see in the world, and that difference starts with love.

This quote is all about awareness. When you notice something it comes into your awareness. Whether it's gaining awareness about yourself, starting to notice beauty, or finding clarity on a solution, there’s one commonality that encompasses them all. Nothing changed about the input, it was always there in front of you, you just weren’t noticing it. It was there before, during and after. It exists independent of you, and for whatever reason it all changes once you acknowledge it. That is awareness and it feeds our reality.

Now let’s be intentional about what we choose to be aware of, because while we can notice beauty, positivity, and hope in the things around us, we can also notice of monotony and hatred.  Acknowledging negativity is really important. Turning that energy into gratitude is a superpower that will serve you in life. Outside of that, how can we see more of the beauty around us?

For me, it's mindfulness and curiosity. Mindfulness helps us to be present, to appreciate simplicity, and to gain awareness on the mundane. Pairing that with curiosity, you can add a whole new layer to the mundane that elicits intrigue and perfect complexity.

When something is placed in front of you that comes into your awareness, do you take it as a given and it just plays a background role in your life, or do you choose to see the miracle that is in front of you? The rustling of the leaves can either be background noise or a unique display of physics that relied on generations of creation to design that exact moment. Life is full of beauty, it’s time that we noticed it!

I believe that we can all be better together, and that through teamwork, cooperation, and collaboration, we can create things larger than we could on our own.  When it comes to building a community, or leading a team, it’s not about anyone in particular, it’s about everyone!

Everyone needs to be bought into the same core mission. Everyone needs to play their role knowing that other people are accountable to their role. Everyone. 

If any one person starts going off script and acts in a way to cover themselves, it comes at the expense of the entire group. One of my favorite quotes is, “You are only as good as your weakest player”. When it comes to accomplishing more, it’s about raising the tide for all, not just yourself.

Another way to think about this is how Gary Vaynerchuk relates to it. In his pursuit to be the best businessman, he describes two different ways to have the tallest building in the city. You can either build the tallest building, or knock all of the other buildings down.

When you use this group oriented mentality, you choose to give instead of take, and in doing that you improve the ecosystem that you, then, can benefit from. It’s not about anyone, it’s about everyone, and this world is abundant enough to take care of us all!

This is a beautiful message from country artist Kasey Musgraves. It’s a reminder that no matter what you do, you’re never going to make everyone happy, and she approaches it from a funny and practical angle.

"If you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore
If you don't save yourself for marriage, you're a whore-able person
If you won't have a drink, then you're a prude
But they'll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one

If you can't lose the weight, then you're just fat
But if you lose too much, then you're on crack
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't
So you might as well just do whatever you want
So

Make lots of noise (hey)
And kiss lots of boys (yeah)
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's something you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up the joint
Or don't
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah".

There’s especially beautiful in this that we all can tap into.  In a life where we’re getting pulled in opposite directions by different people, we always have our own internal compass, our own guiding arrow, and it’s so important that we follow that intuition. No one knows what you want more than you do. Don’t resist it, don’t fear it, just follow it.

I came across a really inspiring, important moment that I want to share.  It was from Ellen Degeneres and about how she reacted to the confusion people expressed when they saw her sitting next to George W Bush at a football game. Ellen’s response was so pure, powerful, and a timely reminder that it’s okay to be different. Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you can’t get along with them. It has gotten too polarized and people are forgetting that difference of opinion is actually a really great thing.

It doesn’t matter who they are, or what they believe, it’s important to be kind to everyone.

I see life sometimes as a math function. But, when you strip it down, all it really means is that you have an input, then that input gets changed into something else by the function,which produces an output. Not as complicated as you remember it being in high school algebra, is it?

Well, as it pertains to life, everything you experience is the input. Then your life experience, genetic predispositions, and other voluntary factors serve as the function that alters that input, and your left with your output, which is basically how your perceive it.

The quote, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”, shows just how powerful that function is. In fact, it argues that only 10% of the input is retained, and the function is responsible for 90% of the result. That’s where positivity comes in. When you make positivity, gratitude, and empathy default characteristics in your life, they influence the function that runs subconsciously, altering all inputs into a more positive, grateful, and empathetic interpretation.

The power we possess to choose or reality is incredible, and if we do the work through meditation, practicing consistent gratitude, and gaining self awareness, we can perceive a much more positive life.

I mean, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it, and it’s your move to make that 90% right!