Life is a process. We learn new things, change our beliefs, meet new people, find new interests. It’s not fair to compare the different phases of life to each other because everything is a dynamic progression that adds upon itself to create our current experience.

I can’t help but think of the way we narrow the scope of our own lives, and when we reflect it’s the highlights and the low lights that come to mind first. These are influential moments, but they’re not representative of the life you’ve lived as a whole. Let’s take a step back and think through how this all works.

Something I really enjoy about the English language is the use of the word "practice". Doctors have a medical practice, lawyers have a law practice, nurses have their nursing practice. I love this because despite the years of schooling and hours of investment to learn the craft, it’s still recognized as a dynamic process and in practice. And it makes sense because these fields are changing so rapidly that practitioners need to be able to adjust to new information and standards.

The literal definition of “practice” in this way actually means, “the expected procedure or way of doing something”, and I love how this contrasts with the typical improvement-oriented definition of practice because it creates a beautiful blend of standardized method and dynamic exploration. This blend is best demonstrated in the way it’s used for a yoga practice that abides by the general movements and patterns of the exercise while leaving room for personal preference and self-exploration.

I bring this all up because life is a practice in this sense. There are certain rules and guidelines that we all should follow to have a good general experience. Within that framework, we each have an opportunity to discover how we can optimize life for ourselves! That is our life practice, and it’s a beautiful thing to see how our uniqueness, preferences, and connection has meaning from this lens.

You are the master of your own life practice, and it is a practice, because things will change and you’ll need to adjust. Follow your heart and explore your own practice!

This is a powerful thought, especially in light of the quarantine and related circumstances. We all had to change our plans. People are rescheduling weddings and vacations as well as businesses that are forced to temporarily close. Everyone needs to adjust across the board. We all see this time as extremely inconvenient and disruptive to the way we wanted things to be,but let’s consider the flip side of it. What if all of this is happening for you?

“Everything comes to you at the right moment.”

Who’s to say that the plans we had set were for the best? And how would we know that what we had planned was exactly the way it was supposed to be? There’s an element to this situation that has a novelty that we need to tap into. There’s a greater force or power that has urgently disrupted the way things were for a reason. Instead of rejecting that and seeing it as an inconvenience, we can choose to see it as divine and powerful.

It’s important to place your faith in the universe and it’s creation. Last week, I had a great conversation with Dr. Sangeeta Sahi about how important it is to be flexible and accommodating to the universe’s plan. From our narrow point of view, we are in no position to understand the larger workings of the things around us, and how its meant to serve us. However, we can recognize that things beyond our control are working for us, and that everything will come to us at the right moment.

Even in difficult financial, physical, and personal circumstances, it’s important to see the lessons you are learning and the growth that you’re being pushed into. Its also important to see how that ultimately contributes to your overall well being. I know it’s hard to hear during these difficult times, but it’s important to trust that everything comes to you at the right moment.

There are many people who talk. They say that they care, they say that they’ll be there next time, and they say that it’s really important and they support it. Yet, they don’t show up and do it. I’ve been on the wrong end of this in my life, and convinced myself that I’m applying effort and genuinely invested, when in reality I’m just watching from the sidelines.

It’s easy to do, but it doesn’t need to be that way. As we know, actions are louder than words and the same goes here. You can pretend to care but you can’t pretend to show up.

There’s subjectivity in the emotions and intentions of our behavior, and as humans we can easily rationalize or create a story that protects ourselves. This is when we’re on the sidelines rooting for our team, but not doing anything to actually change the outcome.

But, you can not pretend to show up. It’s objective, either you’re there or you’re not. Showing up means you are physically present and choosing to allocate the time, energy or resources toward the cause. Even if you show up just to check off the box, you’re still there. What I’ve found is, showing up is the hardest part. The motivation and ability to apply yourself usually finds it’s way once you’re in the right setting. Once we get started on something we have a tendency to pursue it longer than we expected.

If there’s something you feel like you’re faking, or trying to get behind, think about how much of that time you’re spending talking about doing it, and how much time you’re spending actually doing it. You can pretend to care, but you can’t pretend to show up.

As great, amazing, and cooperative people are, there is always going to be one recurring problem. We don’t always see eye to eye. There’s an art to handling disagreements and negotiating, so that you ultimately get the result you want. But, there are two very different ways of going about it that don’t always seem different, and I explore it a bit today.

What is the difference between a fight and argument? To enumerate, this is physical harm aside, we’re talking about exclusively in a conversation. But the fact that an argument resolves without violence speaks to the difference as well.

When we fight, we want to assert dominance. We want to overrule through force and intimidation. This is often why fights are an exchange with more intensity, because more energy is put into the interaction and emotions escalate and amplify. As a result things get personal and out of line and hurtful. I think we can all agree this is less constructive.

This is because in a fight we don’t go in with the common interest to resolve. That’s an argument. Arguing is about taking positions and converting people over to your side. While there could definitely be a large disagreement still within those two sides, both parties are approaching it from trying to generate a certain outcome. In doing that, we don’t resort to personal attacks because that isn’t an effective way of converting their beliefs. In arguments, you share your authentic beliefs and the reason why you’ve come to certain conclusions, which is based more in facts and experience. 

It comes down to this. In a fight, you want to win, and that could come at the expense of someone else. In an argument, you want to win over, show why your position is superior, and encourage them to believe that too.

 Very different once it’s explained right? Now, it’s on you to understand when you might be in a fight, and figure out how to transition that into an argument.

The book I am re-reading right now is The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, and there are a number of ideas I want to touch on but I’ll start with this.

In the book, Mel talks about the two sides of procrastination. There is the one we all talk about, called destructive procrastination that keeps us from doing important tasks, but then there’s also this thing called productive procrastination.

Productive procrastination is actually a really important part of the creative process. While you may want to submit that proposal or start making headway on that new system, sometimes we complete our work before we’ve applied our best mental effort. When we procrastinate on the topic, we let the idea ruminate in our minds and give our brains the time to make obscure connections and evaluate more creative options. Presently, that process of delaying and putting off the work is being labeled as procrastination. For example,“I just can’t get myself to sit down and do it”. This happens because our intuition is telling us it’s not the right time yet. It knows that we have something better to produce, and procrastination is us buying time for that to come to light.

However, if there’s a deadline and the work needs to get done, then it’s not entirely about the creative process, and that’s where the conventional destructive procrastination comes in. That’s when we know there are consequences to not taking action. Here, procrastination is a mechanism of escapism from our present reality. 

So be careful, and understand that procrastination isn’t all that bad. Thinking through what your reasons are for delaying the work will help you realize which form procrastination is taking.

I was interviewing an expert in human behavior, Vanessa Van Edwards for this weekend’s SISD and we were talking about personality types. There’s consistency among people in terms of what elements make up our personalities, but obviously all of our personalities are very different. However we feel like there is one ideal type, and that is not the case. Vanessa shared more about that.

Not only is there no best personality type, but it’s actually crucial that we have a variety of personality types working together because they offer different strengths. Our diversity should be celebrated, and it’s important we understand how to get the best out of each other.

“Your next chapter is going to be amazing”. It kinda feels like life is on pause. We’re counting down the days and doing our best to continue on as best as we can despite the circumstances. There’s no doubt that we’ll remember this time the rest of our lives. But that makes me think of a follow up question. How are we going to remember this time?

While the world around us seems to be stopped that doesn’t mean we have to. In fact, I think this is a really unique opportunity for us to invest in ourselves and our future. I believe, if we want to, we can remember this time as the catalyst that helped us focus up and commit to the person we know we’re capable of being.

This chapter is still being written but, let’s be honest, it’s going to be a pretty boring one. Stayed in doors, couldn’t travel, spent a lot of time on my laptop and phone. Nothing too compelling. So let’s start thinking about our future chapters and how we might be able to script that today.

By taking the right steps now, we can lay the framework to accelerate at the beginning of the next chapter. Imagine one of those toys where you wind it up a bunch of times and then release it, and it moves all over the place. That’s exactly what we can do today. Put your energy in the right places so that when these restrictions are lifted and life has normalized, you are wound up and ready to go!

Your next chapter is going to be amazing. But amazing doesn’t happen on it’s own. How are you going to respond?

In the face of everything that has happened with the Coronavirus pandemic so much has changed, and even things that didn’t have to.

I have to be honest, I’ve spent some time outside walking, going for a run, and grabbing something out of my car. But, it’s important to get some exercise and stimulation. Of course, I’ve been practicing social distancing. I’m trying to be as responsible about this as anyone else, but this is what I noticed. 

When going for a walk or a run, and there’s someone on the same sidewalk as you, it has been courtesy that one of you steps into the street or some place to create distance. Have you noticed anything about that interaction? I’ve found it has been as though you are trying to avoid the other person.

It’s not the human we’re told to avoid, it’s the virus!

I understand physically avoiding them, that’s the point, but how about even acknowledging they are there? It seems to me like there’s almost an embarrassment to even have to do it, like our distancing is saying something negative about what we think about them, and we don’t even look up to make eye contact to avoid that awkward moment.

But again, it’s not the human that we’re avoiding, there’s nothing wrong with the human. It’s the virus! We’re all on the same page with the same concerns, which means there’s a mutual understanding about it in this potentially awkward exchange.

Given our lack of face to face social interaction, we need those passing moments more than ever! In the last SISD, Radha Agrawal talked about how mental health issues could potentially claim more lives than the virus this season. We’re perpetuating that problem by projecting the concerns we have about catching the virus ontoother people.

So, I challenge you to help change that culture. While walking, say hi, give a smile, and be present for the other human that is there. Because you never know who it is, and how much they might need your acknowledgement.