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April 15, 2020

You Can Pretend To Care But You Can't Pretend To Show Up

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There are many people who talk. They say that they care, they say that they’ll be there next time, and they say that it’s really important and they support it. Yet, they don’t show up and do it. I’ve been on the wrong end of this in my life, and convinced myself that I’m applying effort and genuinely invested, when in reality I’m just watching from the sidelines.

It’s easy to do, but it doesn’t need to be that way. As we know, actions are louder than words and the same goes here. You can pretend to care but you can’t pretend to show up.

There’s subjectivity in the emotions and intentions of our behavior, and as humans we can easily rationalize or create a story that protects ourselves. This is when we’re on the sidelines rooting for our team, but not doing anything to actually change the outcome.

But, you can not pretend to show up. It’s objective, either you’re there or you’re not. Showing up means you are physically present and choosing to allocate the time, energy or resources toward the cause. Even if you show up just to check off the box, you’re still there. What I’ve found is, showing up is the hardest part. The motivation and ability to apply yourself usually finds it’s way once you’re in the right setting. Once we get started on something we have a tendency to pursue it longer than we expected.

If there’s something you feel like you’re faking, or trying to get behind, think about how much of that time you’re spending talking about doing it, and how much time you’re spending actually doing it. You can pretend to care, but you can’t pretend to show up.

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