Want to hear a well-known truth? People can’t read your mind. And why is that important to know? As clearly as something might be in your mind, it is based on information that isn’t available to others. But understanding that there’s a gap between what exists in your brain and what others know is the first step to overcoming it. The clearest way to get someone to do what you want them to do is to make as specific of an ask as possible. By stating exactly what you want, and providing the context and emotion around it, you are more likely to get what you are looking for.

Let me go through a few examples in different environments to conceptualize this. You and your partner are making Holiday plans. You mentioned that Christmas was an important holiday to be with your family, but did so 6 months ago. When the plans are being made it is important to ask for it again specifically in the moment rather than rely on the past communication to come to the resolution you want. In business, when you make a pitch, don’t leave the call to action open to interpretation. State exactly what action you want the other person to take to move the deal forward. And with your spirituality, ask the universe as narrowly as possible for what you want to manifest. Changing the world in a massive way, and changing the world for the better in a massive way are two very different things, and the extra specificity is crucial. 

Making a specific ask requires vulnerability, because you’re stating things exactly how you want them. But this level of transparency is important so that others can interact with you in a perfectly aligned way.

Optimism is an expression of positivity. It’s about seeing things in the best way possible and expecting the best things to happen. An important clarification to make is that it is not about being overly idealistic. Everything has positive and negative elements built into it, and being optimistic is choosing to focus on the positive elements and expecting those to prevail. 

Ultimately, when you’re optimistic you have an overall belief that good defeats evil in this world. You can find evidence for that in seeing how one particle of light can undo millions of particles of dark. Or think about this Vedic principle that monks adopt - For every word of gossip or negativity they speak about someone they are required to say 10 positive things.

You’ve heard this before in the expression “The glass is half full”. If we break this down, we’ll see that this is just a perspective and a choice against the alternative “The glass is half empty”. It’s all about seeing the positivity and possibility in the situation, which is your decision to believe that good beats evil in this world.

I think this concept of optimism is articulated very well in a Winston Churchill quote that goes as follows, "A sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Confidence as I know it, is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

When it comes to self-confidence I think there’s a fundamental piece that needs to be addressed - It is very dependent on the circumstance. Let me demonstrate this with an example. If I were to tell you that you had to go on a stage in front of 1,000 people, that could be pretty nerve-wrecking. But what if your task was simply to start clapping? Do you think you could do it? That’s a much different task than lecturing to the audience on a difficult topic… 

The factor that matters most within self-confidence is your comfort level. In fact the only time that our confidence comes into question is in times of discomfort, and our perceived confidence is just our internal measurement of how well we think we can do given the uncertainty within the discomfort. The further you stretch out of your comfort zone, the less certainty you have about how well you’ll be able to perform in that space.

But therein lies the opportunity. If you want to build self-confidence, you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to prove to yourself that you have the abilities and qualities necessary to perform. Putting yourself in a position to fail is a necessary ingredient to building self-confidence, and I’m confident you’ll realize how capable you are once you give yourself the chance.

This provides a whole extra layer to perspective and is something that can change your life because it’s so tangible. We are singularly powerful in that we can control our external world by making the right choices within our internal world. No one has mastered this like Charlie Rocket, an individual who has a special quantum magnetism to him.

I’m on a winning streak! How simple is that? It’s just like the Wayne Dyer quote “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” If you see yourself as a winner, and everything that happens to you is just an extension of the streak you’re on, then you’ll continue to find wins in your life. This conversation was framed by the idea of momentum, and keeping momentum allows you to continue on in the direction you want to go.

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Those goals that you have, the dream life that you aspire for, that perfect relationship and job… Is that something you’re interested in having or are you committed to making it happen? It’s a very important distinction, and something that John Assaraf mentions in his book "Innercise".

If you’re interested in something then it exists as an idea, a possibility in your life for how things can go. The problem is there’s no definitiveness, no decision, and therefore no pressure or accountability toward making it happen. It’s a very passive approach toward the things that you want. If you are committed to something, then you are acknowledging that you’re going to do what it takes to make it happen. By committing you put yourself out there and begin to take positive action where failure is not an option. With this intention, a possibility becomes a probability and things will start to fall into place so that it does happen, because it must happen one way or another.

The key difference is this - When you’re interested in something, your focus is on the "If". There’s doubt about if this thing is going to happen or not. When you are committed to something, the focus is on the "How". It’s going to happen, now it’s about how to make it happen. 

So I ask you to be critical of yourself. How do you approach the things that you want. Are you interested in them happening, or are you committed to making them happen?

In marketing there’s a term called Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs, and they are exactly what they sound like - Agreed upon standards that help you measure your work against your objectives, aka your performance. Things can get complicated, with many marketing campaigns pulling many different levers, so KPIs are used to understand fundamentally if the work you are doing is driving business and generating results in a reliable way.

There are two types of KPIs, a leading KPI which is more a direct, objective measure of a tactic, and a lagging KPI, which is the longer term effect or the business goal you are trying to meet.

Within the context of personal goal setting, we over emphasize the lagging KPI, or the final objective, and believe that just by stating it it’s going to happen. Getting clear on the ultimate goal is definitely important from an efficiency and motivational standpoint, but where’s the structure? That’s where our leading KPIs come into play.

The leading KPIs are what we execute on every single day to produce our end goal. They are the fuel behind the growth and development that leads to an improved result. Remember, personal development is the process, self improvement is the state.

Take a community member, Arozo, for example. She’s training for a marathon and was looking for some goal setting guidance. The lagging KPIs were clear - to be able to finish the race, as well as to be able to run X many miles by Y date. That works great as a progress check, but how does she get there? Leading KPIs - Run this many miles a week, cross train that many times, the things she does on a daily basis to build up her fitness. It’s consistency in the daily activities, measured by leading KPIs, that generate the real impressive results, as indicated by the lagging KPIs.

I was reading with my nephew a number of months ago and the book we were reading, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss, left a big impression on me. It’s a clever story that gives great advice on how to navigate life and deal with adversity. 

While I encourage you to read the whole book, I am going to recite a few of the final lines that I particularly enjoy.

“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dextrous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed? Yes you will indeed! (98 ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains!" 

There are a few underlying thoughts in this excerpt I want to highlight. First is to acknowledge imperfection. You’ll make mistakes and wrong decisions and get caught up in the wrong places. Second, as a response to that, is being intentional. While you can’t control a lot you can control yourself, and it’s up to you to strike the balance that best fits your needs and circumstances. Then finally, in the face of adversity and within those choices, success is inevitable. It’s just about guaranteed!  That’s because those things that you thought weren’t possible, that seem to present inconveniences and limitations in your life, are non-existent. And that’s exactly how the story ends. 

“So… be your name Bauxbaum or Brixy or Bray, or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way.”

I wanted to honor the message and eloquence of a leader who has passed. I’ve seen the response the community has had toward Chadwick Boseman's life and contribution, and wanted to acknowledge his legacy. Despite strong opposition, Chadwick persevered to give a voice to so many people and represents a new era of black empowerment. Not surprisingly, he did so through a trial and error process that guided him toward his purpose.

It’s not always smooth, and it doesn’t always seem like it’s working, but everything you experience is preparing you for the deepest expression of your purpose. Life and its challenges are a training ground for you to be able to contribute to your ultimate capacity.

First, to understand why forgiveness is important we need to reflect on its purpose. To forgive is to overcome the negative emotions you feel toward someone or something, and no longer let that thing have power over your well-being. The underlying root of this is that something inside you hurts. You’re in pain because of something in your past and you need to rationalize that pain by attributing it to something else.

So what you must do before you externally forgive is you must internally accept. While I do want to remain respectful of any past traumas you may have experienced, you must recognize that your past is part of your life. It cannot be changed, and the best response you can have toward things that cannot be changed is to accept. This often involves finding meaning and purpose in the trauma or experience, because then it can be viewed as a necessary element to your growth and actualization rather than something that holds you back.

Basically, you must first forgive yourself and process your emotions before looking externally. Then at that point, if you feel like it’s important and productive, you can begin to forgive externally and relive those difficult emotions in a vulnerable way but with a new perspective and purpose behind it.