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September 16, 2020

Discomfort and Self-Confidence

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Confidence as I know it, is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

When it comes to self-confidence I think there’s a fundamental piece that needs to be addressed - It is very dependent on the circumstance. Let me demonstrate this with an example. If I were to tell you that you had to go on a stage in front of 1,000 people, that could be pretty nerve-wrecking. But what if your task was simply to start clapping? Do you think you could do it? That’s a much different task than lecturing to the audience on a difficult topic… 

The factor that matters most within self-confidence is your comfort level. In fact the only time that our confidence comes into question is in times of discomfort, and our perceived confidence is just our internal measurement of how well we think we can do given the uncertainty within the discomfort. The further you stretch out of your comfort zone, the less certainty you have about how well you’ll be able to perform in that space.

But therein lies the opportunity. If you want to build self-confidence, you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to prove to yourself that you have the abilities and qualities necessary to perform. Putting yourself in a position to fail is a necessary ingredient to building self-confidence, and I’m confident you’ll realize how capable you are once you give yourself the chance.

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