Let’s go back to the timeless example of the tortoise and the hare. If you’re not familiar with the story, a tortoise and a hare decide to race each other. Clearly the hare is much faster than the tortoise, and he was confident he’d win. However, the hare was overconfident and decided to take a nap during the race, allowing the tortoise to slowly catch up and eventually beat him.

The punchline to this story is “Slow and steady wins the race.

Let me dissect this story in a few ways. First is the pre-judgment. Everyone assumes that the hare would win because he is so much faster, but that’s not what the race was about. It’s important to understand how there are many qualities at play when it comes to generating outcomes, not just the obvious ones. It would have been a shame if the tortoise had ruled himself out before the race even started.

Second is the idea of how much something is valued. The hare didn't take the competition seriously, and fell asleep because he thought it was so easy. However the tortoise, who had to work hard for every step, was more motivated and committed because of the investment he had to make.

Then thinking beyond the story, and relating it back to you, what race are you running? I can guarantee it’s different from the race everyone else is running, so it’s impossible to judge your progress next to someone else’s. What you need to do is focus on the effort, the pursuit of the goal that you deem worthy, and trust that your ways of making progress are enough and worthwhile.

This is something we all know to be true, but it could always use a bit more perspective. It’s the idea of stepping out of your comfort zone. Something I’ve learned is that you cannot succeed unless you put yourself in a position to fail, and you cannot grow unless you expose your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. This thought was articulated incredibly well by Addited2Success founder Joel Brown.

Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t need to be a bold and defiant act. You can stretch yourself slowly but surely, in small ways to build that elasticity and tolerance, and it’s something that you need to take action on and prioritize now. The reason why certain elements of your life aren’t perfectly how you want them to be is because you aren’t actively pursuing them. Start stepping outside of your comfort zone and you’ll start recognizing how much opportunity there is to grow.

Let me run a scenario by you - You’re on the roof of a 100 story building. You see a long, narrow  plank that spans from where you’re standing to the rooftop next to you. If you cross the plank I’ll give you $20. Would you do it? Now how about this scenario. You're a parent, and your child is in danger alone on the other rooftop. Would you be more likely to cross the long, narrow plank? I imagine you are. And why is that? 

It’s because in those two very similar scenarios only one variable changed, and that was your necessity. It was how necessary and important it was that you walk across the plank. For $20, I could probably do without it. For my child? I’ll do anything. You are making very different decisions in those two scenarios.

As I learned in the book “High Performance Habits” by Brendon Burchard, necessity is an incredibly influential factor in your behavior. And knowing how valuable it is, there are ways that we can manufacture necessity to get us to commit to the behaviors we know are good for us.

One thing you can do is generate accountability. This could either be having a duty or role that others are relying on you to fill, or by holding yourself to an ideal that you set for yourself. Another way is by cultivating urgency - Setting a deadline and stretching yourself to meet it.

If you must do something, then you will, and creating more necessity in your life can help you take the necessary actions required of you to make progress.

Shoutout to my friend Wallis for sharing this thought with me. It is very simple, and I think it's the simplicity that made it so compelling. “If you’re in a hole, stop digging.”

How true is it that we find ourselves in a certain situation, usually at our own fault, only to think that we know how to fix it so we try and then just make it worse. I certainly can speak to this. When things go wrong for me they quickly get worse. I enable this to happen by taking a wrong responsive action, and it turns into a really slippery slope. This is because when things start to go wrong it creates discomfort, and as a byproduct our body produces adrenaline to prepare ourselves for the uncertainty, and often leads us to bad decision making.

But we can fix this, and David Meltzer puts it perfectly. He says stop, drop and roll. Specifically in this situation - Stop whatever you’re doing because it is taking you further off trajectory. Drop your negative thought patterns and recenter your emotional state. And then roll toward a more constructive and productive direction. 

This process keeps you from acting reflexively and helps you be more intentional with your behavior. So when you’re in a hole stop digging, and let that be the beginning of your solution.

First we need to understand the role excuses play in our psychology. Excuses are a defense mechanism that are meant to protect our self-esteem and self-confidence. By giving an excuse for something, we deflect responsibility and don’t internalize the criticism, so that we can separate ourselves from the failures or shortcomings in the result.

But there’s an expression I love that sheds some light on the truth - “Excuses are like buttholes, everyone’s got one and they all stink!”

The problem with making excuses is that by not taking the necessary responsibility, you don’t put yourself in a position to grow. Where is the lesson without the pain? When you justify why you didn’t meet expectations by making excuses, you are doing yourself a disservice that prevents you from developing in a way that will allow you to meet expectations next time.

To share a quick example of this in practice, a few weeks ago we had a family photo shoot and allowed a photographer in the backyard. We have been extremely careful to take precautions and not expose ourselves to others who might have COVID. There were times when he touched furniture and things we’d prefer he didn’t touch, and he unmasked a few times out of comfort. Instead of making an excuse and saying “Oh it happened so fast, it was out of my control”, in reflection I recognize that I could have communicated to him sooner that we wanted him to follow strict quarantine protocols. Had I done so we could have avoided the situation and now I know how to act moving forward.

So I encourage you, lose your excuses. Take full responsibility, full ownership for the events in your life. Instead of making a comfortable excuse, try reflecting on the decisions you made that led to that result. You’ll find a lot more is in your control than you realized, which is great because then you know what you can change for next time!

Let me start by giving you some credit. There are a lot of things to balance in life and the fact that you have taken the time to come to this resource is incredible. And I can’t express to you how grateful I am because of it. But let’s take it a step further and talk about why that is important.

Every time you show up for yourself it provides evidence for the person you want to be, and over time it becomes more and more effective. Essentially, slowly but surely, you can prime yourself to embody the traits that you access and make it more of a subconscious, natural response. 

It’s important, because when it comes to taking action throughout the day you’re going to need some of it. That’s why exposing yourself consistently to motivational content helps you to be more motivated. Your daily choices serve as the fuel for you as you go throughout your day on a mission.

And if I’m not enough for you, then my friend Spencer Ferrari Wood has you covered. He’ll send you an email every single day with "40 seconds of Fuel", to help you fill up your tank so you can go out and conquer the day!

You probably hear it all the time, you need to “lay the right foundation” or “have structure” in your life. It sounds great, but what does it actually mean, and how do you actually do it? To me, it means that you need to first spend time establishing the basics and fundamentals so that you can grow on top of it with the assurance that you will be supported. 

Well, personal development is growth, and every time you grow you put stress on your foundation. With a strong and solid structure, you can challenge yourself to be more consistent in difficult areas, you can put yourself in more uncomfortable situations, and you can gain confidence in yourself because you know that your foundation will hold you up through it all.

So how do you build a stronger foundation? You invest in it. You put systems in place to help you carry the weight of uncertainty and doubt. You get proactive and adapt your belief system so that it interacts effectively with the context of your life. And you validate it by having faith in the process, and that you are capable and worthy of everything you desire.

I know that’s a lot... but I want to help you have more structure in your life!