Just like you I am always experimenting and trying new things on my own personal development journey. For example, I recently learned of a 30 day exercise created by Alex Banayan, the author of The Third Door. If you feel stuck in life, and you don’t know what your next steps are, or that you’ve been stagnant where you’re at for too long, then this challenge is for you. Will you join me?

Banayan calls it the 30 day purpose challenge and this is how it goes. Every day for 30 days straight, no exceptions and no missing a single day, you take 15 minutes to reflect on 3 questions. Those 3 questions are: What filled me with enthusiasm today? What drained me of energy today? What did I learn about myself today?

Again, every day for 30 days, you write down with a pen and paper your answer to those 3 questions. If you only have one sentence to write about each, fine, but you must sit there for the full 15 minutes. This is meant to be a free-flowing, unstructured stream of consciousness as you reflect.

The goal is to reflect without judgment, just share how things are, and don’t look back at any of your entries for 29 days. Then on the 30th day, you read through all of your responses and find the trends in your answers. At that point you answer 3 similar questions - What filled me with enthusiasm this month? What drained me of energy this month? And what did I learn about myself this month? The caveat here is you don’t answer in long form. You write one punchy headline for each of the 3 questions. That becomes your north star and a strong indicator for your life as it is right now, what you want to do more of, what you should do less of, and it presents it in a way where it can’t be ignored.

Again, if you want to get to the truth of how things are for you right now, and get a few ideas about where you want to go next, this challenge will be really good for you. That’s why I’m doing it!

I’m fired up and I want you to be fired up too! I mean think about it, we can go out and pursue whatever we want in life. It’s our choice to do so. But that’s exactly it, you can’t get what you don’t go after, and you really need to want it. You’ve got to get hungry.

‘Getting hungry’ is synonymous with getting motivated because it references how certain things have the ability to take over and consume you. Just like a lion in the savannah, when it gets hungry it has one objective. Eat! When it comes to your goals, aspirations, and dreams, imagine if you had that same amount of focus and desire. It would unlock a whole new level of commitment to what you want.

You’ve probably felt something like it before. You’ve gotten a taste of your potential and the impact you can make in the world, and you want more of it. You can’t fake that hunger, that feeling that genuinely and uncontrollably excites you. So if you want to live a charged up life, where you have a clear sense of purpose, you need to get clear on what you want and what interests you. Lasting intrinsic motivation can only be found in the things that you truly believe in. You’ve got a lion inside of you and it’d be a shame if shame if you never let it roar.

I’m not suggesting you uproot your life to live out your passions, it’s not as simple as that, but I am hoping you’ll ask yourself the question - What lights you up the most in the world and how can you get more of it?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Mahatma Gandhi is one of the most inspirational humans to ever walk this planet. As an incredible peacemaker and inspiring activist, who experienced unfathomable injustice in his life, we have a lot to learn from his lived experience. 

One of the many lessons is featured in the following quote - “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

What Gandhi does so effectively in this thought is he separates out the 3 different ways of representing the self - What you think, what you say, and what you do. And he argues that happiness is having congruence  among those 3 selves.

What you think is your ultimate truth. You cannot hide from yourself in your own mind. And while your brain may attempt to protect you and change the things you think, it does so in a way that it becomes your truth. What you think cannot be shared with others, it is yours and yours alone, and it’s something you must always live with.

The thoughts you do choose to share come in the form of what you say. Now this isn’t a direct translation of your thoughts, it is a filtered version that is designed to be received by others. It can be truth, it also can not, and in that way it introduces variability.

Then there’s what you do. This is your actions speaking for you. Actions are louder than words, and the things you do are the way you interface with the world around you. It goes one layer deeper in that you’re putting your thoughts and words to action, which suggests a certain level of belief you have in their truth.

Now let’s bring back the quote - “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

When all three of these selves are in harmony, without contradictions or exceptions, that’s when you experience happiness. And to me the word that captures the essence of that is integrity. When what you do and what you say are in integrity with what you think, you’re living an aligned life. Reflect on this idea, and how closely aligned your actions, words, and thoughts are.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

No one likes the person that makes a lot of excuses, and I’d like to think you don’t want to be the type of person that makes excuses. Yet, myself included, I think we all fall into that trap every once in a while. It’s all driven by our ego. On a psychological level our ego is designed to keep our self-confidence intact and sustain psychological safety. In doing so the ego constantly places us relative to others - We have a need to know our position in the hierarchy and ideally perceive ourselves as better than others. That’s the root of why we make excuses.

But this is a very slippery slope, and Robin Sharma shared a quote that shows the real consequences of this. He says “If you recite your excuses long enough you’ll start to believe they’re true.” The implication here is that what you do to protect yourself will actually harm you in the long run. Our beliefs are dictated by what we’ve experienced, and each encounter molds our beliefs in the subtlest of ways. If you give excuses enough times, eventually it will represent a disproportionate amount of your understanding for how things are. This is dangerous because if there are certain times when you fall short and make excuses, your brain associates excuses with the stimulus until eventually, it becomes the default response pattern.

Now what can we do about it? The antidote to excuses is accountability. When you take responsibility for outcomes in your life you retain the power and agency to influence your life. Yes, it threatens the ego in the short term, suggesting you’re not good enough and makes you prone to making excuses. But in the long term, taking ownership builds a more empowering mindset. It affirms that you are in control and it gives you psychological freedom.

In short - While it may be tempting to slip into the safety of making excuses, we don’t want to do that. So let’s call it out right now - Thinking back, when was the last time you made an excuse?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

There's a lot of talk about mindset and how we can use it to change the way we see things. It closely correlates with perspective, which is a huge opportunity for impacting our lives. Wayne Dyer said it best - “If you change the way you look at things, then the things you look at change.” So yes, that’s one of the positive outcomes of having the right mindset, but when you strip that away what is the make up of your mindset?

Your mindset is simply your patterned way of thinking. It’s the thought patterns you have both consciously and unconsciously. Consciously we can choose to see the world in a certain way and believe certain things to be true about the world. Take gratitude for example. If something happens in your life that causes issues or problems for you, let’s say your power goes out for the day, how do you relate with that? Instinctually and emotionally you’re frustrated, but consciously you can reframe things so that you choose to be grateful for about the situation. How is what’s happening meant to serve you? You intentionally change the way you relate with things, what you believe to be true about it. Ultimately that’s a conscious shift in mindset.

But then there’s also the unconscious beliefs you hold. These are the default thought patterns you engage in, the scripts that play out and influence what you do without your being aware of it. It’s very sneaky because it still feels like you’re making decisions for yourself, but those choices are through the lens of what your subconscious wants you to believe. This often leads to behaviors that protect us, that is the role of the subconscious after all. But through repetition and consistency you can actually install new mindsets that become authentic beliefs you hold about the world and therefore, become your default patterned ways of thinking.

That’s your mindset, and with that in mind I want to ask you a question - What do you want to believe to be true about yourself or the world?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I think there are many instances in our lives where we choose to play the victim. After something you experienced, which could be as serious as significant trauma or as subtle as losing an argument, it’s natural to seek some form of soothing behavior. This is meant to produce feelings of security and add layers of protection by getting the attention of others, asking for sympathy, and helping us believe that it’s not our fault (or that there’s something wrong with us).

Playing the victim accomplishes something similar - It deflects the blame, shame, and responsibility of something so that you don’t need to internalize it as yours. This generates a sense of security, and gives you a reason to complain about what happened to you. 

The problem here is when you play the victim, you have no desire to find a solution. And if you're not motivated to change something then the same roots will keep producing the same fruit, and you’ll continue to be victimized.

Ultimately, when you play the victim you’re giving your power away to the external world. No longer are you responsible for or accountable to the things that are happening in your life. You are merely affected by everything else going on that seems to be out of your control. Relating with your life in this way deepens into helplessness and dependency, which then ripple into the ways that you think and talk about yourself.

I don’t think anyone wants to play the victim, but sometimes we’re so in it that we can’t even see it happening. That’s where I really want to challenge you to take 100% ownership of your life. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through, but what I do know is whatever that is, it doesn't serve you to let it label you.

With that in mind I want to ask you a question - What is something negative that happened to you that you deemed was out of your control?‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I heard this thought from John Lennon that I think is so important to remember. But before that I want to comment on something - We live in such an accomplishment based society that values being productive and doing it all. Maybe you’ve felt a pressure to fit more into your day yourself. That’s because we’ve learned to see productivity through the lens of working hard. More productivity is less procrastination, less distractions, and more focused concentration so that you can get more done, right?

I disagree. I think true productivity is just about doing more of what you want. Beyond work, errands and all of your responsibilities, you can be productive on social media, watching tv, or doing anything actually. What matters most is that you’re doing what you want to be doing. It can be for your mental health, a recharge, because you enjoy it, whatever it might be that is serving you. But the unfortunate part is that we resist accepting those reasons as a good enough and instead judge ourselves for not doing more “productive” things.

That’s where I want to jump back to the John Lennon quote - “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” What might be viewed as wasted time by someone else could be what’s most important for you. And when that becomes the measuring stick, what naturally happens as a result of that is you spend time doing traditionally “productive” things because you have a deep desire to contribute, a need to grow, and a strong motivation to pursue self-actualization. But then you’re doing it because you want to and not because someone told you to, and it gives you space to do everything else without judgment.

So be honest with yourself and answer this question - What do you genuinely enjoy doing that other people might think is wasting your time?‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Life really is what you make of it and everything is a matter of perspective. The great part about that is if we like certain things, we can choose to have more of it! And alternatively if we don’t like certain things we can change the way we relate with it and create a new result.

Easier said than done of course, but this concept is perfectly captured in today’s positivity quote - “Our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude toward us.”

I think it’s creative how this quote positions ‘life’ as a third party with its own choices. If we see life that way, then we know that things can change because life can change its mind. It helps us realize that we can influence life. Just like a person, life is dynamic and responsive to you. It’s not something that is fixed and predetermined, it is constantly being created from an unlimited amount of possibilities.

One of the most fulfilling perspectives and attitudes we can choose to carry into life is that of positivity. As suggested by Jack Canfield, we always have a choice in the matter. He has the formula E+R=O. Event (Whatever happened) plus response (how we choose to perceive the event) equals outcome. The outcome is always dependent on your response, and if you choose to be grateful for the things that happen and see the opportunity in seemingly unfortunate events, you can manipulate the end result. This is life’s attitude toward us and we always have a say in that. “Our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude toward us.”

To wrap this up I want you to reflect on this - How in control of your response are you to life’s events?‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.