Past Episodes:
Stay Ready
There’s an expression in the military that goes “Stay ready so you don’t need to get ready”. For them, it’s a matter of life or death but for us it’s an opportunity to seize the moment.
You never know when you might get your “lucky break” or that “once in a life-time opportunity”. As ambitious, growth-oriented people we’re always looking for our breakthrough that takes us to our next level.
What a shame it would be if you missed out on it when you had the chance.
That’s why it always serves you to be ‘on’. To be ready, to be alert, and to be prepared. The amount of energy it takes to get yourself ready is significantly more than it takes to maintain your readiness, not to mention how much more unreliable it is that you’ll be able to arrive at the desired state when you need it.
This reminds me of the classic example I share that’s about pumping the well. It might take a while and a number of pumps to get the water starting to flow from the well, but once it is all you need to do is keep pumping and the water will keep pouring out.
So the task is to keep pumping the well of your life, to stay ready so you don’t need to get ready.
In my opinion this involves two things. One is that you need to make sure you’re mastering the fundamentals. You’re consistently taking care of your mind, body, and spirit so that you maintain a heightened capacity. This involves basic health routines like exercise, healthy diet, quality sleep, and mindfulness.
Then the second is, as Abraham Lincoln puts it, you’re always “sharpening the ax”. It’s continuing your education and learning to broaden your perspective. It’s practicing your pitch or skill so that it’s primed and ready to go. It’s all about being proactive so that when the opportunity arises, you can give it your very best.
Staying ready is a daily process. It’s a ritual. And if you want to make the most of the moment, you need to be ready to go at any given moment. And that separation is in the preparation.
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See MoreYou Get Used To It
I’ve had a really incredible lesson hit me from a few different angles recently. I’ve been working on a project to interview my grandma and record it to capture her life story. At 89 years old she’s telling me what her life was like at different timestamps of history and technology, and it has really been making me think.
Then alongside that I just finished a TV series called “The Men Who Built America” that talked about how certain innovations like electricity and cars permanently changed the way people do things in the late 1800s.
The similar conclusion I’ve drawn from both of those influences - People are resilient. They figure it out and accommodate to the circumstances and environment they find themselves in.
Darwinism or ‘survival of the fittest’, which is the mechanism for evolution, teaches that it’s not the strongest or most powerful species that survives, it’s the most adaptable. And humans are highly adaptable.
This lesson plays in a few different fields. Let’s say someone experiences a traumatic injury - a limb is amputated, something causes blindness, whatever it might be. That new circumstance becomes the new normal very quickly. That’s not to say that things are the same, they certainly aren’t, but they become normal. The same goes for the world around us and how we adopt new technologies and standards of living.
And therein lies the opportunity - You can manufacture your environment and establish new standards to create your new normal.
This reflection also makes me think about what unimaginable inconvenience we are tolerating right now. Similar to how before kerosene and electricity night time was basically dark (and that’s just the way it was), what realities of life are we experiencing now that will be inconceivable in the future? It’s just another example of how we get used to whatever is around us.
At the end of the day it’s all a matter of awareness. We don’t know what we’re missing out on. We don’t know what difficulties we’re currently experiencing. And pursuing that perspective gives us new eyes to see where the world is headed, and how we can make the most of it, and make a difference.
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See MoreLearn To Use The Tools You Have
We’ve been seduced in today’s society that we need more things to solve our problems. Having trouble at work? Try this new software and automation. Feeling lonely? Join a new gym or social club and meet new people. Want to have a healthier diet? Buy the latest nutrition program with all the gimmicks and guarantees.
The truth is, you probably already have everything you need to overcome that challenge at work, to strengthen your relationships, and to prioritize your health. You already have the tools, knowledge, and ability to make progress on whatever it is that needs to be addressed. Yet still we look externally to solve our problems.
This is where I want to make an important point - It’s not that we need new tools to make advancements, we need to get better at using the tools we already have.
It’s unfair to say that a software isn’t working for you if you’re only using a fraction of its functionality. It’s premature to move on from a strategy before you experimented with different ways it might work. It’s silly to throw away a book because you’re trying to read it upside down.
The value is there and it’s in plain sight, nothing about what we have access to needs to change. It’s our ability to use it that does.
So in order to overcome this hurdle, I have a recommendation - Understand that you need to invest time to get something to work better. Even though you want instant results, you need to invest in your ability to produce those results sustainably.
This is one of the primary points in Steven Covey’s book “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” where he talks about the difference between ‘production’ and ‘production capacity’. Sometimes things need to get worse or delayed before they can get better and more efficient.
Known as a learning curve, once you overcome that threshold of ability you can start scaling and exponentiating the output you get from any given input. That’s what leads to efficiency, predictability, and sustainable returns.
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See More"Chase greatness over success."
I was listening to an incredible podcast episode between Ed Mylett and Lewis Howes and learned a valuable distinction between success and greatness. This insight is a centerpoint to Howes’ new book “The Greatness Mindset”.
Success is a very elusive thing. We often associate it with achievements, accomplishments, and accolades. There’s an extrinsic component to it that motivates us to attain a certain thing. I’ll be a success when I get a raise or a promotion, when I buy my dream house, when I win that award. It’s almost conditional in nature.
The problem is, as we delay our self-perception of being successful we inadvertently postpone our happiness, believing that we’ll find it when we’re successful. This is only until we realize how empty it is once we hit the goals we set for ourselves, and they weren’t fulfilling.
Even though we’ve been taught to change our relationship with success and define it for ourselves so that we don’t get trapped by comparing ourselves to others, it is still very self-centered. At the end of the day it’s about your goals and dreams.
As I paraphrase Howes’ philosophy - Greatness is actually what we’re after, not success. It’s about engaging other people in your goals and dreams so that they win with you. There’s a shift from ‘me’ to ‘we’ that the best leaders in the world can espouse and inspire in the people around them.
With that in mind, let’s take a pause. You’re motivated, ambitious, hard-working, and committed to making the most out of this gift called life. How can you make it more other people? How can your example be the torch that other people get to follow toward their goals and their dreams?
It’s a subtle shift… But the more you can lead from a place of service, the more you'll actually experience the deep fulfillment you’re chasing. We all have greatness inside of us, and Lewis Howes’ new book just might be your way to tap into it! You can check out Howes' new book by clicking here!
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See MoreDealing With Controversy
An unavoidable part of life is controversy. Controversy happens when there’s a disagreement that escalates to massive levels, becoming seemingly irreconcilable. Many people have a natural response to unconsciously exacerbate the situation, making things worse, which of course does way more harm than good. Hopefully the perspective I share today helps you to overcome that.
The core psychology is - When you find yourself being challenged, or that your conclusions are being put into question, it activates a response to get defensive. It comes as a threat to your worldview which you desperately want to maintain. In that way your response to the stimulus is a great mirror for psychological safety.
This causes many people to dig deeper into their opinion, close their minds to alternative explanations, and become much more difficult to negotiate with. At this point, being on the right side of the controversy isn’t just about the immediate facts in question, it has become a representation of your self-image. Very quickly, the stakes can get very high, which is why it’s so difficult for disagreements to reach a good resolution.
So if you find yourself in a controversy, where your character is being put to the test, you too might feel yourself getting protective and defensive. The next time this happens, here are a few things you can do to intercept the thought pattern.
First, think about the ideal outcome. It probably doesn’t involve being in a petty battle with someone. It likely will encourage you to acknowledge and incorporate the other side of things and be empathetic to their viewpoint. Even better if you can communicate this mutual positive outcome.
Then second, I’d encourage you to delay any kind of significant response. When emotions run high and we’re caught off guard, it may provoke us to respond in ways that are out of alignment with who we want to be. This is a core tenet of stoicism - Not letting your emotions influence your decision making. Take some time and slowly let the emotions wear off by doing some deep breathing or using perspective in your self-talk.
We’d all like to think that we have the presence to be our best selves despite adversity and difficult moments. They will inevitably come, and hopefully you feel a little more prepared to have integrity the next time you find yourself in one.
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See MoreIt’s Not Selfish To Put Yourself First
For our entire lives we’ve been told that it’s a bad thing to be selfish. That it’s bad to be self-centered, to lack consideration for others, and to only care about your own profits, pleasure, comfort, and well-being.
Overall that thought might be true, but there are extra layers to it that I think are a bit misunderstood. Many people overgeneralize the sentiment of being selfish and therefore don't take good enough care of themselves out of fear that doing so would make them selfish.
The first thing to clear up in the definition: It does not mean that it’s not okay to put yourself first. In other words, you should prioritize your own well-being. It’s that maxim of ‘filling up your own cup before filling up someone else’s’. Your capacity to give to others is limited by your personal capacity.
With that in mind, here’s a tangible perspective shift. A lot of people have the desire to help others. They want to change lives. With that intention, why doesn’t your life count? Is it not impactful to change your life, is that not a meaningful life made better from your actions? When you consider that you are a person just like those you hope to help, you see that you’re just as worthy of your time, attention, and care as someone else may be.
Do you know what is selfish? Humble The Poet has an interesting thought on this. He says it’s “expecting other people to put you first”. When you make demands of others or feel entitled to something from someone else, that’s selfish. Their priority is to prioritize themselves just as your should be to prioritize yourself.
So with that in mind, let me ask you a question. Feelings of being selfish aside, what is one thing that you so readily are giving away but you’re in need of yourself? Yes, the fastest way to get anything in life is to give it away, but that requires that you’re open to receiving it.
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See MoreThe Hardest Part Of Running The Race
People tend to glamorize things and today I’m going to give you the truth, using the metaphor of running a marathon.
When we have a goal or project ahead of us the one thing we’re looking forward to, that motivates us, is the sense of accomplishment we’ll get when we hit the finish line. It’s that moment where you get to reflect on what you just did and remind yourself of what you’re capable of.
And it’s anything but easy. There are many challenges, setbacks, and obstacles that get in between you and the finish line. You hit the wall and you need to fight through. You get a cramp and you need to take a break. You miscount your miles and realize you’re not halfway yet when you thought you passed it a while ago.
But do you know what is the most difficult part of running the race that is often overlooked?
It’s getting to the starting line.
The main reason people don’t experience the fulfillment of running a marathon doesn’t have anything to do with the race itself. It’s everything that happens (or doesn’t happen) before the race even starts.
There are countless people who commit to running a marathon in any given year but only a fraction of them do. And the fall off doesn’t happen during the race, it happens in the steps before.
Metaphor aside, this is true for everything. The hardest part to anything is just showing up. It’s making the commitment, deepening your investment, being serious about what you want, and then beginning to follow through.
We often wait to feel a certain way - motivated, inspired, in flow, or for the time to be right - in order to take next steps on what we want. But that waiting is better described as delaying, postponing, or wasting valuable time in pursuit of what you want.
Maybe you wish you would’ve started sooner. There’s a Chinese proverb that goes “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now.” If you can make the decision to get yourself to the starting line, today, so that you can begin the process of getting what you want, then there’s your next step.
And this is where I”m giving you one last opportunity to do exactly that - to get that hardest part behind you once and for all. The 21 day Best Self Breakthrough Challenge starts today, March 6th, and it’s not too late to be a part of it. Together we’ll install the 2 habits that activate a life-time of high performance so that you start getting more done in a day than you do in a week, and get more consistent with the meditation, exercise, and self-care habits that make you feel at your best. And you can make the choice right now to step up to the starting line, to see your path forward toward your fullest potential, and to start moving forward.
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See MoreLearn Less, Implement More
Alright, let’s get to the root of what personal development actually entails. And to do so I quickly want to tell you a story about my journey thus far in pursuit of becoming my best self.
For years I was caught up in the "information trap" - Listening to podcasts non-stop, reading the books, filling my down-time with videos, TedTalks, courses, anything I could get my hands on that I thought offered valuable perspective and information...
I felt motivated by it because I saw myself putting in the work, and it gave me enough of a reason to tell myself I was doing the right things to grow and pursue my potential.
There was still a big problem with it, though - nothing was actually changing about my life.
I was still feeling disappointed that I wasn't performing at the level I knew I could... Still believing I was talented but wasn't getting the results to back it up... Still feeling held back and falling behind without being able to pinpoint why...
It was frustrating, deflating, and honestly made me question if I had what it takes to accomplish what I wanted to in life and reach my goals.
That is until I made one fundamental shift, and the day you make this shift for yourself, everything will start to click.
Our focus should not be to acquire more knowledge... It should be to find ways to apply and optimize the few, transformational things we already know!
The summary is - If you want to take your life to the next level, to be less distracted and more productive, to stop making excuses and start taking care of our mind and body, to have moments where time seems to stop because you’re so present with the people around you, you need to learn less and implement more.
And I was able to make that shift when I established a process to put the things I was learning into action. A tangible mechanism to define, measure and improve my habits. To reflect and grow my mindset. To uphold higher standards for who I know I can be.
This is hard for me to admit as an educator and content creator but it's the truth - What I have to say will only go so far. It’s the action you take from what you learn that will really generate growth.
Which is why I’m taking my responsibility one step further. Starting on Monday we’re beginning a 21 day Best Self Breakthrough Challenge. In this challenge you will do two things:
1) You will implement a new system into your life that I call your Self Improvement Operating System. This is a real tangible tool and resource that will help you improve anything about your life - following through on good habits, living out your intentions to be the friend, family member, and co-worker you want to be, anything. And you’ll get in the routine of using this resource over the course of 2 days because it’s only valuable if you use it.
Then 2) You will install what I call your “Best Self Reflex”. This helps you increase your self-discipline by upgrading your mindset. We do this intentionally through a subconscious priming audio program called Discipline On Demand and it will literally change the conversation in your mind so that you reflexively make the positive, empowering, healthy choice without making excuses or negotiating with yourself about it.
In any case, whether you’ve been following my content for a long time or you’re brand new to it, early on in your self-growth or very experienced, even if you’ve registered for the challenge before but didn't’ follow through on doing it - This is your invitation level up. You read because you want to improve your life and I’m telling you, you’re plateauing if you don't take actionable next steps.
Register for the 21 Day Best Self Breakthrough Challenge and that’s exactly what you get - You’ll pick up so much momentum in your life that you’ll breakthrough into new tiers of performance and self-belief that represent what you’re truly capable of!
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