Sometimes we encounter things in life that are too good to be true. It’s a promotion at work or a new job you’re excited about. It’s an opportunity to travel or experience something really special. Especially when we get excited about something we can get all caught up in it.

What I’m about to suggest isn’t that you shouldn’t trust your intuition or that you should tone down the excitement in your life… I believe you feel that emotion for a reason. What I’m proposing instead is that you understand the big picture so that you can be extra intentional about what you’re actually getting versus assuming the highlights of what could be.

This is where I want you to have this question in your back pocket - If there were a tradeoff, what would it be? This question is neutral, soft, and fair. It doesn’t claim that there are any consequences to the path ahead but makes you reflect on the possibilities of what those consequences might be.

For example, a promotion at work might mean that you’ll feel pressure to spend more time working, which then compromises your personal time and health habits. An opportunity to travel the world means that you might miss birthdays, holidays, and events that are important to you.

It’s by forecasting the tradeoff that we really get to genuinely choose the path we want to take. Rather than being surprised or naive to the new normal that’ll come from a new environment, you give yourself your best chance to make the most of it by being more prepared.

In summary - If you feel like the stars are aligning and you’re beginning to grasp at something you genuinely want but are missing, go for it! But go for it with intention so that you’re fully aware of the implications of the decision, and the potential tradeoffs you might experience.

There’s a famous anecdote about an encounter between Alexander The Great, whose army is arguably the most dominant there has ever been in history, and Diogenes the Cynic, a Greek philosopher. There are many versions of this but today I wanted to highlight one in particular.

When the two encountered each other, and Diogenes chose not to be accommodating to Alexander, someone from Alexander The Great’s staff said “What have you done? This man has conquered the world.” 

Diogenes is said to have responded “I have conquered the need to conquer the world”.

It creates an interesting contrast. Alexander The Great has used power and force to manipulate the world to his liking, conquering new territories and building a reputation that made history. His value system is based on domination and conquest, seeing that as the ultimate pursuit of his potential.

Diogenes almost mocks that and attempts to humble Alexander by pointing this trait out as a flaw. He argues that he actually has more power than Alexander The Great because he’s developed the self-awareness and perspective to play a different game that is in his control, and in his mind. Diogenesis’ value system is also based on authority and domination, but it's an internal expression that is a pursuit of self-mastery rather than an external expression of it that is a pursuit of fame, fortune, and conquest.

So what do we have to learn from this? I think we all have a version of this happening in our lives right now. One part of us is motivated by achievement of things and another part of us is motivated by having freedom from things. Both play an important role, and the more aware we can be of when they surface, the better balance we can have with it.

Interestingly, there are accounts of Alexander The Great wanting to be more like Diogenes. He’s known to have admired the freedom and independence he practiced. But if Diogenes had no action toward acquiring things like money, food, and shelter, then he wouldn’t have survived. So more than anything this example gives you perspective on the two extremes of the spectrum that we belong somewhere within.

The words we use are extremely powerful and provide deep insights into our internal world. When we study them we can learn about things about ourselves we otherwise wouldn’t have access to.

One of the words that many parents don’t allow in their household is the word “can’t”. And it makes sense. When we use the word ‘can’t’ we don't take ownership for whatever it is, leaving us with what’s leftover and choosing to have little say in the matter.

The problem is, people still like complaining about how unfair the world is that they ‘can’t’ do something. But the truth is they’ve just chosen to forfeit their own attempts at making it happen for themselves.

If you really diagnose the instances where people say they can’t do something, it’s usually not about that. It’s more often that they’re unwilling to endure the consequences, make the tradeoff, or accept the conditions that would make it happen.

For example: “I can’t afford it”. What that really means is “I’m unwilling to move to a cheaper apartment, change my lifestyle, and negotiate a payment plan where I can cover the investment.”

Or “I can’t quit my job” really means that you’re unwilling to expose yourself to the possibility of not having a stable income and risk financial hardship, receiving criticism from loved ones, and accepting the identity of being unemployed as you transition.

You can do anything. Seriously. The reason it doesn’t feel that way is because everything is a tradeoff and some tradeoffs are just unfathomable and morally unacceptable. But when you realize what you’re currently getting is what you’re currently choosing, because you are choosing it over however else it could be, you realize how quickly things can change.

That’s where I want to encourage you to shift your thinking by shifting your language. When you want to say “I can’t”, instead say “I won’t”. It removes the power from your external circumstances and allows you to hold it yourself. And when this makes you feel empowered because you realize you’re choosing everything in your life, you’ll gain the courage you need to start making new decisions that better support you and the life you want to live.

If you’ve been telling yourself that you can’t be more consistent, you can’t change how busy and overstretched you are, or you just can’t motivate yourself to do what you know you need to do, I’d challenge you to see if you’ve even tried. If you’re willing to try and take ownership, the Super Habits System is designed to help you establish the harmonious, high-quality, productive life you desire in just 21 days.

For what it’s worth, I define self-improvement as the pursuit of two things: Self-awareness and self acceptance.

Self-awareness comes from understanding what our strengths and weaknesses are, knowing the biases and beliefs that govern our lives, seeking others' perspectives so they can see us from a different angle than we can see ourselves, and having insight to the things that genuinely motivate us and drive us forward.

Self-acceptance is then being at peace with what you’ve come to know about yourself. Not judging who you are or what makes you tick, trusting your intentions and that you are the way that you are for a reason, and appreciating your nuances and quirks because they make you unique rather than thinking there’s something wrong with you.

I share that because I heard Ed Mylett say something that delivers a similar message. He says “You can’t love yourself if you’re not being yourself, and you can’t be yourself if you don’t believe in yourself.” 

The first part about being yourself is the self-improvement piece. You can only truly be yourself when you’re self-aware enough to know who you are and what you genuinely want, and have the self-acceptance to pursue being that person even when you doubt yourself or others criticize you.

But then he goes an extra and important layer past that - "You can’t be yourself if you don’t believe in yourself". Saying that you want to live a life that’s true to yourself is one thing, having the courage to do it is another. It requires self-confidence and self-esteem to do things different from what others expect of you. 

For example, we think it’s weird when people sing in public, or ask us a random question, because we’re projecting our own insecurities about how we’d feel if we could express ourselves with that level of authenticity. 

But at the same time, self-belief is everything. According to an iconic study done by Australian palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware, the greatest regret of the dying is that people wish they’d “lived a life true to themselves and not the life others expected of them”.

"You can’t love yourself if you’re not being yourself, and you can’t be yourself if you don’t believe in yourself".

So how do you start believing in yourself? You give yourself reasons to. You show up, get bolder, manage your impulses and practice self-discipline, put yourself out there, take calculated risks, and do your best. Do it enough times and the evidence is undeniable.

And I get it, it’s hard when you’re busy, worn out, and have so much going on that you don’t have the motivation or energy to do be your best self - But if you want to start transforming your sense of self-belief, so that you stop feeling so unmotivated and start feeling on fire, in just 21 days - let’s install your Super Habits System to lock in the habits and processes that make you feel and show up at your very best!

Re-reading the book “Everything Is Figureoutable” by Marie Forleo, I was reminded of the massive influence our beliefs have in our everyday lives.

You’ve probably heard that 95% of the things we do and think are unconscious. This means that we’re operating on autopilot and playing out some predetermined script for the majority of the day.

What is that unconscious script?

Our beliefs.

The reason we rely so heavily on our subconscious mind is because we don’t have the capacity to think through everything that happens. If we had to pause and make a decision on absolutely everything that needs to happen, we wouldn’t get anything done and it’d be impossible to live a productive and sustainable life.

That’s when we tap into our unconscious mind to make decisions for us, and solve problems for us, without requiring conscious and effortful thought. Functionally what’s happening is the unconscious mind is pulling from past lessons and experiences to fill in the blanks for us in a way that keeps us as safe as possible.

In other words, our mind forms beliefs about who we are, and how we believe the world to be, which the unconscious mind uses to address everyday situations.

Literally everything we think and do passes through this filter. It’s an ever present influence that shapes our choices, behaviors, emotions, and thoughts.

With that understanding, that’s why I thought Marie Forleo’s quote about beliefs was so spot on. She said “Like a track running underneath a train, our beliefs determine where we go and how we get there.”

What’s at the root of this quote? If we want to change our lives, we must change our beliefs. If we want to go in a different direction we need to adjust the way the train tracks are taking us, or else we’ll keep reproducing the same results over and over again.

To make this actionable, there are two things I’d like you to consider. First is to get curious about your beliefs. If you feel a certain way that you don’t like, ask yourself what might have caused you to feel that way. If you feel yourself procrastinating or sabotaging your best intentions, reflect on what pre-existing belief might be creating the resistance.

Then second is actually changing your beliefs. Something Forleo explains in the book is that our beliefs are a choice. It’s in our power to control what we want to believe. My favorite way of replacing an old limiting belief with a new empowering belief is through consistent action, allowing your behavior to create the evidence your unconscious mind needs to update your belief system.

Ready to stop being too busy for your self-growth and start create the healthy lifestyle you deserve? Install the ⁠Super Habits System⁠ in just 5 minutes a day for 21 days to unlock your next level of daily productivity and performance.

I firmly believe that the quality of our life is simply a reflection of the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. This stands true in our personal life to gain self-awareness, in business to better maximize an opportunity, and in conversation when strengthening our relationships with others.

The reason that matters is because our minds immediately go to work to respond to the questions we’re asked. So if we ask a good question, we come up with really good responses that then drive our decision making and behavior.

So let me ask you a good question: If you had no fear, what would you do?

Fear is one of the greatest limiting factors in our lives. It keeps us from even considering doing the things that would be healthiest for us, make us feel most fulfilled and alive, and bring us the most joy. Fear is an evolutionary protection system to keep us out of danger but these days it gets in the way more often than it helps.

But let’s think beyond that - If you had no fear, what would you do? Would you change the dynamics in a relationship? Would you quit your job and go full-time on a passion project? Would you move towns and go somewhere you’ve always wanted to live? 

And don't limit your thinking to only consider things that you know you’d succeed with. It’s the uncertainty of success that is causing the fear in the first place, if there were certainty there wouldn’t be fear. So allow yourself to dream big.

Let me answer the question for myself as an example. If I had no fear, I would get way more aggressive in the way I try to grow this podcast. But I have a fear of making bad financial decisions and investing in the wrong things. And I fear that I would be viewed as disrespectful, salesy, or pushy if I forcefully tried to get my podcast in front of new people without them expressing an interest.

See what that question opened up for me? More self-awareness on what I want and what’s holding me back from getting it, and now I can do the work to overcome it.

So let me ask you the question again - I want you to really sit with it, and answer it for yourself.

If you had no fear, what would you do?

I wanted to present a new perspective that might cause something to click for you. You’ve probably heard before that “we need to see failures as lessons”, and “pressure makes diamonds”. Ryan Holiday even wrote a book called “The Obstacle Is The Way” detailing how we’re best served to have a mindset that encourages us to attack our challenges head on.

This all exists counter to our natural relationship with challenges, which is perceived discomfort and strain. A less energetically demanding and easier life is one where we don’t have any problems or setbacks.

But what if ‘the challenge’ is what life’s all about?

There’s something inherent to us that feels validated by overcoming obstacles. Our deepest joy comes from proving ourselves against our circumstances. Tom Bilyeu with Impact Theory agrees. He says that fulfillment is “working hard at something to achieve a positive result.” Without the challenge, nothing hard is required of you and you won’t tap into the depth of fulfillment that life has to offer.

Think about any great story. The bigger the challenge someone is facing, the better the story. Superheroes are revered because of the actions they take against powerful villains. The most epic comebacks in sports history come from overcoming a huge deficit when everything was on the line. In other words, the most meaningful things we do are born from defeating enormous challenges.

To live a life that’s worthwhile - that gets you brimming with pride, where you feel deeply connected to a sense of purpose and the people in your life, where you feel like your skills and talents are making a unique contribution to the world - you need to have a challenge! It’s on the other side of testing what you’re made of where you find out everything you are.

Which leads me to our two perspectives:

First, if you’re experiencing immense challenge and hardship in your life, you’re being incubated for greatness. Whether you’re choosing it or not you’re being prepared to maximize your contribution to the world in whatever form it ends up taking. So throw yourself into the challenge, figure it out and discover the power of who it molds you into as a result.

Second, if you’re comfortable and not challenging yourself, maybe this is a reason to try something new. It’s comfortable being comfortable, I get it. But If you allow yourself to stay in that space you’ll never leave, and you’ll only experience a fraction of the fulfillment you’d otherwise feel if you put yourself out there more. So go out and choose a challenge that’s worthwhile and let it strengthen you!

Challenges are good. We want to have challenges. It’s in the face of challenges that we tap into the depth of who we are, the inspiration we haven't been able to access, and the joy that comes from applying yourself toward doing something you didn’t think could be done.

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Ready for a challenge? Stop being unmotivated and too busy for your self-growth and start creating the healthy lifestyle you deserve! Install the ⁠Super Habits System⁠ in just 5 minutes a day for 21 days to unlock your next level of daily productivity and performance.