I came across an interesting thought in the book I am reading right now, which is This is Marketing, by Seth Godin. Godin gave an example about picking your battles, and understanding the scope and playing field that you belong on. The example is as follows. You have a small bottle of purple dye, and when you put just a drop of it on your skin, the exposed area becomes a vibrant purple and it’s tough to get it off.  Then, you take that same dye and put a drop of it in a pool. Not much happens. You then pour the whole bottle in and it subtly changes the color of the water. Then, you go to the ocean, and try putting both a drop of dye and the whole bottle of dye in the water, realizing that it has absolutely no effect on the color of the ocean.

What’s the message here? Select a challenge you are capable of conquering. 

Oftentimes we have a really ambitious vision for something we want to create or get done. But, as we’ve all heard, it doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s important to think about the necessary steps and protocol to begin working toward that larger vision. Picking a hurdle you can leap does a few important things with your motivation and effort. First, you set yourself up for the possibility of success instead of instant failure. The positive relationship that you develop with your task serves as a surge of momentum that will help you to take action, and provide the necessary motivation. Let’s also think about this physically.  Leaping over a smaller hurdle will train you to be able to do a one day leap over the larger hurdle you previously couldn’t surmount. But, if you spend your time initially on that first larger hurdle, you might be putting your effort in the wrong places, and not make the same kind of progress. So, similarly with your task, understanding how to do it on a smaller level will serve you on a larger level.

So, think about that hurdle you want to leap over, and maybe think about the smaller hurdle in front of it that will give you the momentum and training you need to get over it.

The quote,“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change”, relates to perspective. Our minds rationalize things a certain way that fit the schemes and categories that we are accustomed to. They have been developed over the course of our lives and are rigid and very different from other minds. But the inherent part to perspective is that it is entirely subjective, and if that’s the case, then why can’t we induce this sense of conviction?  We hold strongly onto the perspective we have, which is a good thing because it’s important to trust your instincts, but what If we could deliberately choose what we wanted to believe.

A great example of this is positivity! Take this scenario. You set aside $10 for lunch, then realize that you left $5 at home. How do you interpret it? Are you bummed that you can’t order the sandwich and the smoothie, or are you grateful that you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from?

Sure, that’s an extreme example, but do you get the concept?  If we choose a certain, positive perspective, our brain is powerful enough to rationalize that into its reality.  When your brain begins defaulting to seeing things in a positive light, your life most definitely will start to change.

This one goes a bit against some of the other things I’ve shared with you over previous episodes, but at the end it will all tie together so don’t be alarmed. In the spirit of self-improvement, everyone has a different relationship with each tip and what works best for them, so at the very least this provides a different angle for you to think about.

Lets talk about pattern disrupts.  Basically, a pattern disrupt is something that takes you out of your routine ever so slightly, forcing you to operate in uncomfortable circumstances. But, in discomfort comes accommodation and growth. It allows you to access new frontiers in very subtle ways.

There are two primary ways to think about this.  First is a routine reset. If you find yourself going down the slippery slope of negative habits like low motivation or fatigue, disrupt that pattern by doing something out of your comfort zone, like turning your shower on cold. The disruption serves as a wake up call to your task which can help you restart with the right mentality.

Or, what I use it for most often, is subtle disruptions to a positive routine. When you are in the flow of things and getting stuff done, introducing a little variation and disruption can help you train and prepare for distractions. Getting yourself in that head-space to be able to handle small deviations to your routine is an effective way to mimic those situations. Some things that I do is I set my alarms and timers to create weird numbers like a 6:37 wake up time. These deviations push me so slightly off my routine, and it helps me practice refocusing.

Find opportunities for pattern disrupts in your day, and challenge yourself to grow just a little bit as a result.

Well, we live in a world where everything is on our phones. There are many conversations about the impact this has on society like higher depression rates, less interpersonal connection. But, onething that might not get the attention it deserves is the effect smartphones have on our posture.

Recently, I met with Missy Lopez, the organizer of the event had an awesome tip I wanted to share.  She encourages everyone to use their phone with it straight in front of them. Wait what?

You heard me, arms straight and level with the floor, and keeping the phone at eye level. I know how weird this sounds, and it looks like you are constantly taking a picture, which could cause some awkward situations when in public. But, the trade-off might be worth it in certain scenarios.

Keeping your phone in this orientation helps you to straighten your neck and eliminate your hunching. It helps you restore a much more natural position that improves your posture.

With this improved posture, your muscles can relax, your alignment can be correct, and you significantly reduce strain. With the amount of time we spend on our phones every day, this is a huge opportunity for improvement.

So, if you want to give it a try, start slow.  First step could be to try it some time at home and see how it feels a few times throughout the day. Then, if you really want to get into the habit of it, make a plan to hold yourself accountable. Let’s make a point to take care of ourselves in every way we can, which includes our posture habits with our phone.

As you could imagine, it is important some people are well-liked, and this is something I struggled with for a long time as well. It took me a few years and some major realizations for me to overcome this feeling, and I want to share a bit about what that process is like.

The first thing I had to realize is some people just don’t mix, and it’s no fault of your own. People aren’t always compatible, and it’s important to understand and accept that.

The second thing I had to realize is when thinking about the opinions of others, think hard about if that person’s approval is something that is really important to you. Is the person that doesn’t support your message someone you want to dedicate that much energy to in your life?

And lastly, what is most important is that you like you. The only person that you spend every moment of every day with is yourself, and that’s the person you need to take care of the most.

So, if someone doesn’t like you, what does that mean? Well, think about the reason why that might be. Is it jealousy? Is it because you did them wrong? Determining the cause of the disagreement, and how you feel about the nature of it, will help you think more about how important it is. If you aren’t proud of something and want to reconcile a situation, then it likely is important to think about how to make this person like you. But if it’s something that you feel confident in, then maybe it’s best they’re kept at arms distance.

It has been a while since I featured something from Mel Robbins. She is one of my favorite thinkers and she shares a valuable message.

While Mel speaks referring to romantic relationships and companionship, it’s important to extend the same thought into different areas. Is that new car going to make you intrinsically happy, or is it compensating for something you’re afraid to admit. Is your social media page filled with affirmations that you don’t live by? So often, when we come across challenges, we look for solutions and explanations that are out of our control. There is a comfort in not taking responsibility for things. But those external things are just band aids, and if you want to really cut to the core of the issue, you need to look inside yourself.

Down the road, I’ve heard that the strongest negative emotion humans feel is regret. They wish they tried this, or did that, or maybe wasted too much time doing something else. Similarly, a lot of people regret their outlook on life and their mentality that they wasted too much time stressing about things or neglecting things that were important to them.

It is possible to have the best of both worlds with doing something in the moment that prepares you for fulfillment in the future. That thing is to choose positivity.  When you feel like you are living, enjoying the moment, and experiencing special things, it is hard to hold on to regret. Choosing to see things as a positive influence in your life will help you minimize that regret when you get older. So, do something today that your future self will thank you for.

There is nothing more human than a human connection. With the rise of technology, we are starting to lose sight of that. But, we still know that there is so much joy to be found, opportunity within, and emotion around building face to face relationships.

A timeless book titled Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, gives us the best practices on how to build a network. A network is important professionally because, as per the latest estimates, 80% of job placements are done through referral rather than a traditional interview. So to be successful, it’s important that you know people, and Keith Ferazzi’s book does a great job explaining how to do so.

The first thing to keep in mind is the type of relationship you’re looking to build. Ferrazzi puts it as having refrigerator rights. Basically, you should have relationships that are intimate enough that you have no issue going through each other’s fridge without permission, which is pretty intimate if you ask me, but a relatable standard.

He also explains that relationships are like muscles, don’t work them and they won’t grow, work them too hard and they’ll strain. These relationships require reciprocation to continue validating that there is mutual value in the exchange. The quality of time is better than the quantity of time.

Lastly, Ferrazzi talks about being proactive about building your network, and that you should do it before you need it. This gives you the time to let those relationships mature and leverage them when the time is right for you.

If you’re looking to grow your network, look no further than Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. He is full of great ideas that can improve the quality of your relationships and life.