Something I’ve been doing recently when I get home from work is throwing darts. My roommate has a dartboard, and he’s really good at it, so I figured I’d give it a try. Through consistent practice I have gotten better, but I’m still not great at it. At the least, I go until I get one bullseye. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes 15. But this weekend was different. Instead of casually throwing darts like normal, I decided to dedicate all of my focus to it. I visualized, I rehearsed, I told myself in my mind I was going to do it, and on the first throw I got a bullseye. I was blown away. It worked! I geared myself up again, focused, visualized, and boom. Bullseye again. This time I hit center red! 

I’m not saying I could duplicate that on command, but I am saying that my heightened state of focus and effort allowed me to improve my outcomes. I had never thrown two bullseyes in a row before, I didn’t even think that I could, but now I did, and I’m wondering what else I have been ruling out when it comes to my capabilities.  

You are more capable than you know.  

There is something inside each of us that we can access if we really want to. It might be within your core competency, it might be something you’ve never tried before.  But, just because you can’t see something in the moment doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, or that you can’t tap into it. We all have a latent potential that is begging to be accessed.

Let's listen to a part of J. Cole's song, "Love yourz", because there is an amazing message in it.

"And that's a man who was once in your shoes
Living with nothin' to lose
I hope one day you hear me
Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but man feel me
'Long as the people in that place love you dearly
Always gon' be a whip that's better than the the one you got
Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the one's you rock
Always gon' be a woman that's badder out there on the tours
But you ain't never gon' be happy till you love yours

No such thing as a life that's better than yours
No such thing as a life that's better than yours
(Love yourz)".

It is all about appreciating what you have which is everything you need and more. It is a natural tendency to be ambitious and look forward about getting more. He talks about a bigger house, a faster car, and a hotter girlfriend. But the truth is there will always be more to reach for. If you only find contentment in possessing that ideal, then you will continue to feel like you are coming up short in life. So, love yours. Look at what you have in your life already, and how amazing that is. The enemy of good is better. When observing what you have in your life through a lens of positivity you can begin to see that you already have everything you need. The rest is just a bonus.

Have you ever felt the urge to do something, knowing you shouldn’t? It is so strong and your brain does whatever it needs to do to rationalize the behavior. Whether it was holding off on finishing the food on my plate, checking my Instagram to see if people commented on my post, or texting an ex because I felt lonely. I have definitely been there and we all have.  But fortunately for us, there is a solution!

The technique is called Surf the Urge. Basically, when you get that urge to act on something, give yourself 10 minutes between feeling like you want something and indulging on it. This does a few things that positively affect your psyche and decision making process.  

First, notice that you are not resisting the urge. You are not ignoring it or telling it to go away, you are merely putting it on hold for a later time. This makes the urge powerless over your behavior because you give it nothing to fight against. Therefore not providing it with the mental energy that fuels its persistence.

Then second, is taking 10 minutes to wait out the urge does an interesting to your habit process. If you take action immediately, your behavior immediately follows the trigger that prompted it, which is how habits like to work and often continue subconsciously. But, if you put time between the trigger and the behavior, you are weakening the relationship between the two and your decision to act becomes much more conscious. This means that you are deciding based on your intentions rather than your deeply ingrained habits, which is more likely to produce the result you want.

So, the next time you feel that irresistible urge, don’t ignore it. Just tell yourself that you will satisfy the urge in 10 minutes if it remains. Odds are it wont!

Is it okay to workout while wearing headphones?  While studying Neurobiology in college, I remember learning that focus and attention is a requirement for comprehension and skill acquisition. And while headphones might provide the entertainment or motivation you need in a work out, it also makes the activity more brainless by distracting you from the task at hand. Have you ever been on a treadmill, you get really into whatever you’re listening to, and you realize that another half mile or mile has passed in your run seemingly without thought? Well sure, you completed the physical side of the exercise, but a lot of the overall growth you are hoping to experience is dependent on the mental side as well, which didn’t get the attention it needed.

But it’s a trade-off. I’m not saying you should exercise and not wear headphones. There’s no one recommendation that satisfies all cases because everyone has different intentions when they go to workout. But, I think there are overarching themes that I want to tap into.

So, if you’re an elite athlete, this is unacceptable, because you are working out with the intention of squeezing every once of value you can out of the workout.  Headphones might limit that capability.

Personally, when I work out, my intention is to push my body while also taking a moment to learn. But, I realize I am not giving 100% in either camp. I only listen to podcasts that I can come in and out of, or audiobooks I have already read. And I don’t expect to make massive improvements in my fitness because I am not dedicating all of my attention to it.

Or, maybe you need to be motivated to get to the gym more often, and listening to music or a podcast is your reward for making it out. This shouldn’t be looked down upon, the difference in output is small, especially to someone trying to be healthy or look good.  

I say this all to underscore the importance of having self-awareness about your reason for being at the gym, so you can understand how much of your attention it requires. From there, you can decide for yourself if you want to wear headphones!

This thought has hit me from a couple of different angles recently, so I wanted to take some time to explore it. Light conquers all darkness,and that argument is clear when it comes to the physics of it, but what about emotional and spiritual energy? Sports1Marketing CEO David Meltzer explained it perfectly:

We can all be that light, not only for ourselves, but also for others, to help eliminate some of the darkness in the world. Your single contribution of light is powerful beyond measure, so use it to the fullest and brightest!

One day, I started driving through downtown San Diego.  I impressed myself when I got on the road and didn’t even consider pulling up Google Maps, because I was the confident in how to get there. When I arrived without issue, I reflected on how I had learned the directions that quickly, and I had a big realization.  

The last time I made that same drive, I took an extra moment once I arrived to trace my steps. I sought to understand the route, and orient myself with the streets I took, instead of just relying on the technology and move on with my day. That extra moment helped me encode the process and now I have a much better mental model of the freeways and streets I drive every day.

So, take an extra moment to understand. Sure, my example was about understanding directions and geography, but the same can apply to many other things like new methods at work, conversations, or something you read.

The thought behind it is that investing your time and energy in the present moment will help you save time in the future, as well as improve the quality of the skill in question. Taking 2 minutes to process things, once, is much better than taking 30 seconds to reconcile a situation, 10 times.

So, be extra cognizant of the things you are doing today, and seek to understand the specific details behind it so that you are more prepared for the next time!

After defining success for myself, The Success Chronicle’s Chip Baker challenged me to evaluate my life in its current state and identify the areas where I am already successful. Well, turns out that I was more successful than I would have given myself credit for.

“Don’t doubt yourself, that’s what haters are for”.

We must give ourselves more credit!  As we climb higher and challenge ourselves more in life, we lose sight of the progress we made to reach our current height. We might not have confidence in this new uncharted height, but that shouldn’t override our perception of the growth we have experienced along the way. If we revert to self-doubt, then we are supporting our own failure. And even so, failure is better viewed as an unsuccessful attempt that prepares us for our next endeavors. Doubt stemmed off of a belief that the goal can never be achieved, and it’s always just too early to tell because there is so much growth to be had.  Build yourself up, don’t tear yourself down, there are plenty of haters who will attempt to do that.

For the holiday weekend, I did a bit of traveling, and I observed something that got me fired up and I want to vent a little about it. But, in all of this I found a silver lining so I think it’s acceptable.

So, I was on an airplane noticing some of the things a girl was doing next to me. First, after everyone was instructed to put their phones in airplane mode, she decided to make a phone call and completely disregard the instruction. Then, after we landed and arrived at the gate, she stepped into the aisle, walked up about four rows until she got blocked off, and stood there in the way of everyone else who needed to grab their bags.  I know it’s an unwritten rule to wait your turn getting of an airplane, but that’s exactly what I want to touch on today.

In a public setting like this, I think it’s so important to understand and appreciate your role in society. If everyone acted selfishly and on their own agenda, it would be impossible to get anything done, and overall society would plummet. Having respect for the process and the instructions of authority figures is crucial to being a cooperative member of society.  So, I encourage you to be the person that waits in line, that follows directions, and that plays your part, because it stands for a larger point that will add to your life.  In this complex and interconnected world, the only way we can truly be effective is if we play nice with others, and sometimes that means inconveniencing yourself for the greater good.

I had a 6:30 coffee meeting and there was only one coffee shop open that I had never been to. Well, turns out it was just a grab and go kind of place and didn’t have any chairs or space to meet. Instead of looking for another place, I made the suggestion that we go for a walk, and the meeting went great!

Funny enough, I got back in the car and in a podcast episode of Humans 2.0, Mark Metry began talking about the value of walking meetings! He talked about some of the benefits of it that I hadn’t realized and want to share.

First, the light physiological activation of physical activity warms up your mind to higher cognitive processing. In that way, you can be more sharp and perform better in the conversation. Second, walking side by side means you aren’t looking directly at each other, reducing the confrontation and pressure in the conversation. This helps for more guarded points to come be brought up because it is a more welcoming setting. And last, choosing to go on a walking meeting means there is commonality between you and your walking partner. It implies you are both health conscious, and having that similar emphasis might build rapport.

So, give it a try. Take a call while your walking to leverage that first physiological point, and book a walking meeting just to see how the conversation goes!