The beautiful and sometimes frustrating part of life is that we’re all different. With our own histories and experiences, we see things different ways, and often that leads to disagreement. Today I want to share what I’ve learned about how to fairly, honestly, and effectively disagree with someone.

First, it’s important to not wrap yourself in the idea that you have to be right. If we disagree with someone and engage them about it, it’s likely because we want to convince them of our view point. If that’s the intent of the interaction, then you need to be prepared to change your perspective because that’s the other person’s objective as well. If you want someone else to be open to a new way of thinking, you first must be open to a new way of thinking, and setting a constructive, non-defensive, inquisitive tone to the conversation will be mutually beneficial.

Then, when it comes to the core argument, don’t seek to prove the other person wrong. Any form of personal attack will violate the openness of the conversation and it can turn defensive very quickly. So the best thing to do is ask clarifying questions, have them elaborate on points you don’t understand, and after knowing what they believe you can share your honest perspective on their opinion.

Something that goes a long way is communicating how your opinions have changed based on their insight. Although it may only be subtle, it affirms that you are listening, internalizing, and interested to learn. In approaching the conversation as a mutual learning opportunity, you encourage the other person to be more open to learning as well through your actions.

At the end of the day, sometimes it’s just not worth it to align on everything with everyone. Pick your battles, know that everyone is entitled to seeing things their own way, and have confidence in yourself, your intuition, and your own perspective.

Value isn’t fixed, it’s actually very moldable and subjective, meaning that it very much can be a matter of opinion.There are 3 different components to value that I think are important to keep in mind when determining something’s worth.

The first piece is the context. The urgency and scarcity of something drives how valuable it is perceived to be. For example there’s no cost on air. It is abundant and around us every day. But if you’re drowning underwater I imagine you’d pay quite a bit for some air. That’s an extreme example but it demonstrates how important context is.

This leads to the second component of value, which was referenced - Perception. Perception includes context because it includes how all people view things through their own relative lens, and draw their own conclusion on how valuable something is. There is where sales comes in, you can create a higher perceived value on something based on how you position it.

Now this leads to the third component, and most importantly, how value can be created. A bar of iron costs $5. Made into a horseshoe it costs $12. Made into needles it’s worth $3500 dollars. A core fundamental resource can be used and manipulated to become something more valuable. You are in a position to create more value in everything you do simply by leveraging it accordingly. Your time, money, and energy can all be spent in any number of ways. But there are some ways that are more valuable, and you can choose to pursue those ways to lift the value of everything you do.

If we want to continue benefiting from certain things in our lives we need to consciously control the way we access it. We’ve been trained to think that there’s not enough to go around, and the responsible thing to do is save it for when you need it. Quotes like “save it for a rainy day” and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” really encourage this idea that what we have exists in finite quantities.

But I believe this idea is out of place and that we should think more abundantly about that which we have access to, which is why I’m posing an alternative quote - “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” In fact, there are many everyday examples that abide by this more welcoming principle. Think about your muscles - if you don’t exercise or workout, they decrease in size and begin to atrophy. Or a company budget - if you don’t spend the amount you’ve been allotted you’ll receive less next year. If you don’t use it you lose it. But what I think is more compelling, and the real nugget to today’s thought, are the more subtle ways this concept exists in the world.

First it applies to your creativity. If you don’t actively pursue creative thinking on a consistent basis you will become less creative. And second, which may seem backwards, is your energy. It takes energy to make energy, and being more active throughout the day actually helps you to be be more energized. It’s not that you’re dipping into the well and pulling out finite resources, your creativity and energy are strengthened by being used.

So if the first half is about losing these qualities if you don’t use them, then the second half is that you can grow these qualities if you actively participate in them. If you want more love in your life give more love. If you want to make more money, spend money and invest in developing skills. We’re not meant to protect our resources, we’re meant to share them and exercise them, because then they’ll return in numbers. Reject scarcity for abundance.

One of the foremost philosophies of entrepreneurship is called iterative design. The intent is to slowly make progress and optimize a process through fast trial and error. There are three key phases to iterative design: First is to act. You cannot know how something will actually behave or perform in practice without doing it. In entrepreneurship speed of action is just as important as quality. Then the second phase is learn. Once you’ve seen the results of your action it’s time to get feedback, analyze metrics, and understand the factors that created the result. Then last is iterate. Hypothesize what might be a primary area for improvement, design that into whatever you’re creating, and give it another go.

This cycle of act-learn-iterate isn’t as foreign as you might think. It’s designed into nature as the mechanism of evolution, called survival of the fittest. It’s part of our childhood development when we learn our boundaries and capabilities as a kid. And note that there’s no failure in the process, there are only opportunities to learn. If you keep that in mind as you pursue your own growth, you’ll see the value in your decisions and be more inclined to take action.

You can’t improve until you’ve learned how to make things better. And you can’t learn until you’ve taken the actions to do so. Act, learn, iterate. And do it all over again and again until you’re where you want to be.

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make things exactly how we want them. We have a certain expectation on how we want things to be, which could be clearly defined or just a vague idea, but in either case it’s something that we hold ourselves accountable to chasing. There’s a disconnect between how things are and how they’re “supposed to be”, and that can impose a lot of pressure.

The thought I really want to highlight today is - Your path is already in front of you. You don’t need to force fit or make crazy concessions to walk on it. The difficult part is that we don’t always see the truth in the thought that you’re right where you’re meant to be. It may be nearly impossible to comprehend in the present, but as you’ve seen before (and you’ll see again) it’s only after you’ve walked on the path and you’re looking back where you can make sense of the steps that got you where you are.

That’s the shift you need to make if you really want this to work because you do have a role in this. It’s not that it’s all going to happen on its own, it’s that you need to be open to experiencing the uncertain and unexpected in order to allow everything to unfold as it’s meant to. You must have faith in the situations you encounter, good and bad, and understand that they are there for a reason. Each step is part of the process in manifesting what is meant to be.

So with that in mind… breathe. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. It may not feel like it, but it’s true, and it should feel refreshing to know. But it’s important to carry that mindset into the rest of your life so that what is meant to be for you will be.

I came across a concept the other day and wanted to relate it to personal development. What I’ve come to learn is while things don’t seem like they would be related, things abide by the same rules and laws of nature, and there is more similarity than we might first think.

The idea  is, a plane uses a disproportionate amount of fuel to take off and get to cruising altitude. Of course this makes sense, a plane that is actively trying to propel itself higher against gravity is going to require more energy. If it’s so obvious in this instance, is it reasonable to say it would be true for our lives as well?

Getting yourself to an early morning workout, the hardest part is emotionally committing to it and getting yourself to put your workout clothes on. In sales, the hardest part is getting anyone to pay attention and book a meeting. Like a plane at cruising altitude we greatly benefit from the momentum we generate to get to that point. The challenge becomes overcoming the activation energy required to get to that state, which often is perceived as a whole lot of effort for not enough result. It could also be articulated as “The juice isn’t worth the squeeze”.

But in order to achieve your goals, like a plane headed across the country, you need to invest your resources in the things you know will carry you to your desired destination. Instead of seeing hard work as a reason to not persevere, know that it’s a part of the process, it is an inevitability of the world’s natural laws. It includes a knowing that with the right attitude and belief you will be able to find your own cruising altitude.

We know how important it is to be a lifelong learner, but today I wanted to hone in on the other side of the coin. It’s one thing to seek knowledge and learn, but it’s another thing to be teachable. Being teachable means that you’re receptive to other people and their perspectives, you’re humble in understanding that you don’t know everything, and you’re open-minded enough to consider new ideas and possibilities.

We have a natural tendency to validate the way we think about things. It’s called confirmation bias and it exists to protect ourselves from the discomfort of violating our belief systems. The unfortunate consequence is that confirmation bias encourages us to seek information in a way that simply strengthens what we already know or believe to be true, and the more that happens, the more resistant we are to being receptive to alternatives.

Again, being teachable counteracts this resistance because it allows other people and resources, who have reasoned differently, to leave a real impression. It means that you don’t hold on so tightly to your own beliefs and you’re willing to adjust your own opinions and behaviors because you value the new information. In a world that is a constant feedback loop, we need to be willing to accept that we’re wrong sometimes so that we can re-orient ourselves toward a more aligned direction.

Being teachable involves listening without judgment, considering beliefs that make you uncomfortable, respecting others’ experience and histories that led them to draw certain conclusions, and being receptive to new ideas.  When you're teachable you’ll find that others are more wiling and interested in investing in you if they know that you’re actually going to use their feedback, which will accelerate your personal learning curve.

So be teachable. Pursue your own knowledge and learn on your own accord, but also keep an open mind to all of the possibilities and alternatives around you.

As we get caught up in the productivity culture of life there’s a strong pressure to go and do and be more. But what that often represents are more deeply rooted issues that you are afraid to address. You may avoid these issues by keeping yourself too busy to face off with it, or you try to move past it too quickly by taking immediate and uncalculated action. This was a new concept to me when Brian Rashid elaborated on the topic.

Stillness. Brian recommends that it is through stillness that you can actually listen to yourself, and understand your needs and desires. From there you determine how to move forward but now you’re not doing so in a rushed way because you’ve made time for truth to reveal itself. I absolutely am guilty of putting a band-aid on top of a band-aid, but this affirms the importance of slowing down and letting a more natural and reflective process take its course.