I’m willing to bet a lot that you want to be successful in your life. However, success is a pretty elusive and misunderstood thing. What even is success? Well of course it’s contextual to you and your desires. What might be success for you could be failure for someone else, and vice versa. In fact the secret to success is defining it for yourself so that you are pursuing what authentically fulfills you, and represents meaningful progress and accomplishment in your life.

But even when we do try to be self-aware and determine what success is in our life, we think about it backwards. Currently we approach defining success by saying “Success is X”, (fill in “X” for whatever is true to you). And in doing so we fill in the blank with the means that generate the end. That way of thinking actually violates something really important, which is that success is the outcome, and our attention and interest should be placed on the input that generates the outcome. So we should switch the order and think about the activities we do and enjoy, and how that contributes to being successful - “X is success.”

In flipping the order we focus on the things we already do and know about, and determine if it organically fits into the paradigm of what success means for us. This ensures that we aren’t pulling from other people’s definition of success to create our own. Instead of being prompted to respond using what others consider to be success, we determine for ourselves what success is the natural byproduct of.

So when it comes to the ways you think about your life I’d encourage you to think first about the inputs, what’s within your control, and then measure the outputs. With that in mind I’ll leave you by asking this reflective question - What things are you already doing well that you’d consider being a part of your definition of success?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I want to be honest and put things on the table. Life can be hard. Work can be draining. Relationships can be emotional and exhausting to manage. There are many things out of your control that impact you and make things more difficult than they need to be. That’s just a part of the world we live in. Today I’m not going to tell you to change your perspective and be grateful for your struggles, even though there is a lot of truth to that, but I do want to share that while life may be tough, so are you.

There is something inside of you that has gotten you through every single obstacle you’ve ever encountered. Since every sleepless night you’ve had a calm morning. Since every panic attack you’ve managed to compose yourself. You’ve overcome every tear you’ve shed due to heartbreak, death, fear to become the person you are today on the other side of it. I’ll bet life has thrown some pretty serious stuff at you, and it was hard in the moment, but you are stronger because of it and more resilient than you realize.

So let’s reframe what you might be going through right now. Issues at work, stress in the family, difficulties in a relationship, uncertainty about your future… It’s hard. It’s tough. But so are you. You are bigger than any problem you face and you are capable of taking it headfirst. Things might need to get worse before they get better, and issues don’t resolve overnight, but know that they do resolve. So don’t give up, don’t back down, and don’t make compromises you’re not willing to make. This is your life and you can stand up for what you want. And I’m here to support you with it. To really land this I want you to think about something - Think about the last time you were tough. What were you battling, and what was your response?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I’ve been listening to a lot of the late great Jim Rohn recently and I wanted to feature one of his philosophies. Jim is one of the first great voices in personal development but even he’d tell you that a lot of what he came to know wasn’t novel or innovative, it was old, battle-tested, and always understood throughout human history. In this instance he elaborated on something as fundamental as how “Labor produces life.”

There are two ways to think of this that are valuable, which are the literal meaning and the figurative meaning. Literally, human life is only possible when women go into labor. What is known to be one of the most difficult, painful experiences a human can have is a prerequisite to creating life. Life doesn’t just happen upon itself, it is nurtured, developed, and created through a process that most people wouldn’t do voluntarily if it weren’t for the miracle that is life.

This understanding leads us into the figurative meaning, which is that if you want to change your life, you need to put in the work. Just like life beginning is difficult and painful, changing your life is difficult and painful. Your brain and body have grown accustomed to doing things a certain way and once you start to disrupt that your brain will reject the changes you’re trying to make. The brain is evolutionarily designed to do this and keep you safe. So similar to pregnancy and labor, the discomfort is actually an indicator that you’re growing, that life is changing, because it’s evidence that there’s a new process.

Labor produces life - It births life and it changes lives. So don’t be afraid of the hard work. Don’t turn away from the discomfort of growth. Growth occurs when you’re outside of your comfort zone. What discomfort are you feeling that’s keeping you from growing?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

One of the most important questions, if not the most important question you’ll ever ask yourself is “What do I want?” Knowing what you want is the North Star you can actually use to make meaningful progress in your life. You must be prepared to be honest with yourself, and hear the truth, no matter how outlandish or impossible it might seem. Dreams aren’t meant to make sense or else they wouldn’t be dreams. And dreams do come true.

There’s one thing that helps turn your dreams into reality unlike anything else, and it’s probably the simplest advice you’ll ever hear.

Ask for it!

If you want something then ask for it! You’ll be amazed by how many people offer to help you. It doesn’t matter how big or small, realistic or unrealistic it is, the best way to get what you want is to ask for it.

Many people hesitate to ask for things because they believe life is scarce. You only have so many favors to call in, you’re inconveniencing people to get involved in helping you. But people won’t do anything that doesn’t in some way serve them. So ask away, invite people to be a part of your story, and understand that you have an unlimited amount of wishes! If you’re uncomfortable asking people for what you want then ask the universe for it, because it will deliver to you the people or circumstances that will make it happen.

Don’t be afraid to ask big, often because it will help you get what you want and need, which empowers you to help other people get what they want and need more often too. So let me finish by planting this seed of a question - What are you afraid to ask for?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

A problem I see a lot is people rule things out before they even try. They rationalize why a dream is too big, or a goal too unachievable, that they don’t even pursue it in the first place. It’s really rooted in a belief that they can’t do it - they don’t have the time or means, it's not the right opportunity, the timing isn’t right, and therefore they don’t.

In the case of many of our goals… Someone else is already living it. So instead of viewing ourselves as inferior to them, and seeing all the advantages, opportunities, and lucky breaks they had that helped them to achieve it, see them as evidence that they did and YES YOU CAN!

But talking about what you can and can’t do is superficial because it’s all about the possibilities of what could be. In order to make it happen you need to take action. However, you won’t be inspired to do that until you believe it is attainable. I’m here to tell you that you can turn an idea of anything into reality, countless people have done it, so why not you? You just need to believe it and buy into it.

So whatever this New Year has in store for you - The intentions, resolutions, and priorities you want to reimagine, you 100% can do it. It then becomes a matter of committing to them and having a plan in place that helps you deliver on it. You’ll be amazed by what you can do when you set your mind to it. So let me ask you this question - What do you want to do that you haven’t started yet?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

It can be really hard making decisions. Weighing the pros and cons, wondering if it’s the right timing, if it’s within your means, and having confidence that you’re making the right choice. How lucky are we that we have the free will to even consider different options? But sometimes there are smaller, decisions you make in the moment that aren’t so much a deep evaluation of what you want and are more a test of your will power. 

It’s that decision to workout when you don’t feel like it. To choose the healthy option off the menu when anything else sounds really good. To get to bed at the right hour, reading a book instead of playing on your phone. We encounter these choices every day. It’s the daily battle we face that places discipline against temptation, and it can take a lot of energy to get it right.

That’s why today I’m challenging you to make one bold decision. Once you’ve determined that something is important to you, you commit to it without making any exceptions. It’s the one decision that will make 99 other decisions for you because it governs your decision making process in certain ways. For example, if you’re trying to limit alcohol consumption you can make the decision to never drink Monday through Thursday. Then every time someone offers you a drink on a weekday, you know your answer. Or you want to workout at 8am every morning. When someone tries to schedule a work call at that time you can say you’re unavailable without having to figure out how to make it all work. 

Making one bold decision creates an infrastructure that helps you live your values and is a piece that you can build the rest of your life around. It's not going to b easy, you need to be committed to enforcing the decision, even when it sucks. But know that if you do you’ll be spending more time doing the things that are most important to you.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Something that people often say to each other in a critical and derogatory sense is “What’s wrong with you?” When someone sees, does, or thinks something different, people judge it and attribute blame or shame to feel better about their own beliefs. At the end of the day, the way people interact and view others externally is simply a projection of their internal state.

What I propose, which was featured in a recent advertising campaign by FitBit, is adding one sound and completely changing the meaning of this critical expression. Ask instead - “What’s strong with you?” Because yes, people will always see things differently, but that doesn’t make it bad. That’s their perspective. People can be nasty, and judgmental, and critical. Their opinions can be hurtful. But just because they tell you how they feel doesn’t make them right. There’s an expression “One man’s trash can be another man’s treasure”, which demonstrates how what others view as weaknesses can also be viewed as a strength.

So that’s the opportunity here. Instead of overvaluing what others think of you, and thinking down on yourself based on what they believe to be the case about you, choose to control your self-talk so that it’s a more empowering narrative. Get curious about the different ways you could relate with the same set of facts, and give a louder voice to the message that best supports the person you believe yourself to be.

“What’s wrong with you?” A lot of things, and that’s the best part, because it actually illuminates where I see things differently, which is my greatest strength. So I choose to say, “What’s strong with you?”

If you’re in the US, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Conservatism bias is a resistance to changing your opinion on something, even when presented new information. Psychologically this might be in place to protect yourself from thinking less of yourself, or being embarrassed. But we probably agree there are so many things that we don’t know about and anything that compromises our ability to update our belief systems is actually holding us back.

A simple example of conservatism bias can be found in business and investing. You have a reason to believe that a stock will do well, but when the company’s leadership announces issues, you don’t take action as quickly as you should because you’re holding on to the original impression you generated. Conservatism bias is characterized by inaction or not making changes in the face of new evidence.

It takes a brave, strong, and confident person to admit when they were wrong. No one is going to have all the right answers, and everyone benefits from being more receptive to new information that comes in. Their willingness to put their ego aside if their competencies are being threatened is a great indicator for success. This is someone who isn’t overly influenced by conservatism bias and therefore, they can more quickly receive feedback and implement positive changes.

So to wrap this up and make it more tangible for you today, I want to ask you this question - What information or key insight might you be refusing to accept right now? Conservatism bias likely is playing a part in it, and you just might experience a major improvement in your life upon acknowledging and accepting it.

If you’re in the US, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.