We live in a world that is constantly in motion. The physics of our existence involves dynamic equilibriums rather than static states, and the vitality of our bodies require constant circulation of blood and other fluids. Similarly in the things we experience things are constantly moving, but there are two schools of thought that explain how we permit this motion - Flow and force.

The difference is clear in this metaphor. Think of a river with a dam. Basically a dam is in place to prevent the water from going where it’s intended to. If you were to lift the dam, that’s flow. It’s the natural path that something wants to take and it happens with very little energy or effort. When the dam stays up, it creates force. There’s an energy and momentum associated with meeting resistance to the natural flow, but with enough force it can overcome it.

We must become very aware of when we’re experiencing dams in our life. Culture has taught us to grind it out and work hard, using force to break down the dam. That works in certain occasions, pressing to meet deadlines, hustling to open doors (and there’s definitely a time and place for it), but it can only be relied on in short bouts because it’s unsustainable. An appropriate application is how force can be used to build the infrastructure required so that everything flows from then on out. You can be effortful to invest in building the system that produces ongoing, easy results.

Sometimes things just seem harder to do than they should be, and that’s for a reason. It’s often a sign that there’s a more natural way to go or a better path to take. Sometimes we need to be more open-minded to things being different and less critical when things don’t go according to plan. There’s an intuition to knowing what’s flowing and what’s not.

In the metaphor of the river there are two things you can do to create flow. You can be patient and wait to see if a new stream emerges from the blocked river, or you can permit flow by opening the dam. When it comes to more flow in your life I can provide you the latter. I can help you get unblocked and open the protective dams you’ve put in place without even knowing it. I’d love the opportunity to walk you through it in a recorded, 10 minute, guided self-reflection exercise.

You can gain free access to that here: https://grow.selfimprovementdailytips.com/get-unblocked

One step at a time, we can get you to live what you're capable of! This reflection exercise might be the first step that unlocks it all, I encourage you to check it out.

I wanted to feature a classic phrase that we all know and love to give it a little extra texture and meaning. Oftentimes after someone gets through something tough, and they feel like the end is in sight and the worst is behind them, they’d say something like “Things are looking up!”

Thinking about this from the literal lens, if things are looking up then previously they were looking down. Looking down hunches your shoulders and creates a closed body posture. What we often overlook is how our physiology creates our psychology. This is known as bottom-up processing where the neurotransmitters our neurons secrete are dependent on the information being communicated by our bodies. So look up and open up that posture!

You also need to consider this quote from the lens of your attention. If you’re looking down then you’re occupied with what is immediately in front of you. You can be so consumed with the details, nuances, and short-term priorities that you lose sight of the bigger picture. Without that added context your effort can feel futile and as if you’re not contributing toward anything or making progress. Look up and see what’s ahead of you! Broaden the scope of your experience, and connect in with why you’re doing it and what opportunities you see on the horizon. Looking up gives you more forward direction that can motivate you and pull you toward a better future!

Then the last way to think about it is like a line graph. All a line graph does is communicate how one variable fluctuates over time. When things are looking up, the arrow is pointing up, suggesting that more results and good things are to come! You’ve already passed that inflection point where things are no longer trending down for you and you can feel more optimistic about where things are headed.

I challenge you to see the good side of the bad, the up side of the down, and convince yourself that things are looking up! Because if that’s what you believe then the world will adjust to make it true. So let’s do that now - What is your next breakthrough? Make it happen right now by reframing how you think about it.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day.

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I heard something on Ed Mylett’s podcast that really stood out to me as something I wanted to explore more. He talked about 3 tiers of influence - Being motivational, inspirational, and aspirational - and the progression people go through as they become more influential.

First is you need to be motivational. This means that you make someone feel a certain way, whether that’s on a stage, in a phone call, or through your actions and lifestyle. Motivation gives someone a motive for action and that extra burst to make a better decision.

Next is inspirational. Beyond making someone feel something emotionally, this takes it one step further and helps them connect to their purpose and bigger reasons for doing things. Inspirational is ‘in spirit’, and the result of being inspired is a more sustaining desire than a temporary injection of motivation.

Then last is aspirational. This is where people look at you and they want to be like you. They look at who you are, what you do, and how you do it, and want the exact same for their life. They look to you and your actions as a standard that they aspire to achieve for themselves. It’s an incredibly humbling acknowledgment, and when you have this much of an influence on someone, you’re blazing the path that they get to walk down next.

I want to qualify this all with one last thought. You don’t need to be a celebrity or influencer or anyone recognizable to be motivational, inspirational, or even aspirational. This is not something that is reserved to be done in public, but it exists in your private life and  relationships too. And if you believe that making one life better is a life worth living, then I encourage you to be the example that motivates, inspires and aspires other people to pursue more in their life.

To bring this all together for you let me ask you a question - Who do you have the most influence on in your life, and what is it you want to show them?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Have you ever been really dedicated to something, investing a ton of time, effort and attention into it, yet you don’t seem to make progress on it? It’s frustrating because you know you’re doing everything right, but the results just aren’t coming. There’s nothing wrong with your effort, or your capabilities - There’s something else at play that you’re not focused on. Sometimes root problems have very unexpected symptoms.

Your body is an ecosystem. Independent units called cells join together to form tissues. Those tissues link up to create organs that then function collectively as organ systems to conduct your body's natural processes. Our nature is designed to be collaborative in this way. Now imagine if something is stuck or not flowing properly? Of course it will affect things downstream of the issue.

The same happens in your life. Your physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and intellectual bodies all exist as an ecosystem that collectively create you. It’s incredible how intricately it all works, but there’s a problem - The flow is determined by your limiting factor. Another way of putting it is “you’re only as good as your worst player.”

If you want to breakthrough limitations and live up to the expectations you set for yourself, you need to get unblocked. You need to identify the core blockage that is restricting your body’s flow and remove it so that the system can function properly. Of course then there will be another blockage, and another, and another, but at least you’re making progress. And if you stay committed to working through whatever is holding you back, you’ll continue setting new limits for yourself and uncovering what you’re truly capable of.

Now a question for you - How are you blocked in your life right now? That might be tough to answer so let’s get to the bottom of it! I put together a customized, guided self-reflection session that will help you truly get to the core of what is holding you back so that you can leave your uninhibited, unstoppable mark on the world.

Click here to input your email and I'll send it over right away! https://grow.selfimprovementdailytips.com/get-unblocked

It’s generally not a good thing to be picky. It means you’re choosy, difficult to satisfy, and kind of closed minded. Picky people aren’t fun to be around because they come off as smug and even selfish at times. Whether you’re picky about the food you eat, the people you are attracted to, or the way you organize your environment, it can be perceived a certain way by others if it comes off as picky.

But making choices and having preferences is important, and it’s all about how you choose to relate with them. If you have reasons to justify why you like certain things a certain way, then it becomes a standard for you. Standards help you stand up for yourself and how you want things to be in your life. Standards establish what you think you’re worthy of and what you’re willing to tolerate. When you’re picky it comes off as a superficial preference, you want things a certain way ‘just because’, but when you have standards those same preferences become valid because you have experience to back them up. Having standards is a strong display of confidence, and I think we all want to get better at raising the standards we live by.

Do you know what you want in a partner? Good! Do you have an early bedtime that your friends sometimes don’t understand? So what! Embrace your preferences but also know what informs them. Enforce the way you want the world to be around you while also staying open minded to new information that might change your expectations. As long as you continue to view things with a lens of curiosity, you won’t be picky because you aren’t so rooted in your own ways. You’ll have justified, well-intended standards that you live by.

To integrate this idea into your life today I’m going to leave you this question - Where do you think you should have higher standards?

Shoutout to my buddy Case Kenny for the inspiration behind today's thought.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Earlier this week I reached 4 years of podcasting here on Self Improvement Daily and with millions of downloads and countless relationships established, I’m fortunate to have become an authority on the topic. However, last week I had a conversation with my good friend Chase Chewning and we deconstructed what personal development is meant to be, not what it’s purported to be, and it really broadened my perspective. I realized that I’ve actually misunderstood what personal development actually is and I think maybe you have too.

Personal development is known to be about maximizing your potential, stretching yourself to grow and experience new things. It’s about applying yourself fully to what matters to you and improving your skills and mindsets so that you can find personal success. While I still do believe all of that to be true, we’re missing one fundamental piece. Why? Why maximize your potential? Why do the things that matter to you?

At the end of the day I think it all comes back to happiness, and I don’t know that we connect personal development with being happy. What I described are the building blocks of what have become for me two primary objectives of personal development - Self-awareness and self-acceptance.

First on the self-awareness side, we need to know who we are and what makes us happy. Not what we admire about other people from a distance, not what we are told will make us feel good if we get it. This is your authentic, unbiased, deeply rooted happiness.

Then second is self-acceptance. Once you’ve become aware of who you are and what makes you happy, you need to be at peace with that. We all have an ego that constantly places us relative to others, and we live in a culture that further encourages us to fit into a certain mold. When we remove the judgment we place on ourselves about who we feel we’re supposed to be and accept ourselves for who we are, we feel empowered to lean into the things that make us happy.

Reconciling all of this for me, not much changes. I genuinely believe that being disciplined helps me do the things that make me happy - Building, creating, discovering. Making healthy choices supports my ultimate happiness because I find joy in being proud of the life I’m living. Leaving my comfort zone forces me to grow and develop, which I find fun and exhilarating. This isn’t meant to completely derail the identities you’ve built around personal development but instead add an extra lens to see your decisions through so that you can confirm that you’re serving yourself in the most meaningful ways.

So let’s wrap by reflecting on this simple yet difficult question - What makes you happy?

I wanted to highlight a new friend of mine whose story I heard this weekend, and the reason I want to share it with you is because he is living proof of what’s possible for you. His name is Omar Elattar and he’s the host of The Passionate Few podcast and YouTube channel. 

Omar was in debt, in a job he didn’t like, and in a toxic relationship. When his girlfriend at the time broke up with him he hit a rock bottom but incredibly, he converted that anger and heartbreak into fuel that catapulted him into the next chapter of his life. He simply made the choice to take risks, create opportunity, and prove to himself and others what he was capable of. Years later he has interviewed and become friends with some of the most successful people in the world, and his mission is to inspire people like you that you can do it too. I say it a little differently but the message is similar - Yes you can!

What’s interesting about the word “passion” is it has unexpected origins. It’s etymology means ‘to suffer’, and when we think about passion we often see it in a more empowering and positive light. But was was clear in Omar’s story is that his passion was inspired by his personal suffering, and I think that’s true for a lot of people. Danette May calls it “turning your mess into your message”.

To be passionate is to be filled with emotion, to care deeply about what you’re experiencing, and I think as a collective it’s something we’re sorely missing. Many people can’t be bothered to care. They’re afraid of what they’ll discover, how they’ll be perceived, and what changes it might bring to their life. Through his work Omar encourages you to take yourself seriously, believe in yourself and what you’re capable of, and to live in a way that fulfills you because you’re giving it your all and not holding back! I know you are one of the passionate few.

To wrap this up let’s tap into this opportunity for you - What’s one things you've major experienced and how has that shaped what you’re most passionate about?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Life is not easy. Inevitably you will encounter times that challenge you. In learning how to navigate situations that aren’t ideal, and managing your emotional state, you’ll be able to live the fulfilling and enthusiastic life you desire. With that in mind I want to illuminate a distinction between stress and overwhelm. While both involve feeling a sense anxiety and apprehension, they actually take subtly different forms.

First, stress is a normal physiological response. It’s our sympathetic nervous system getting activated to protect us. It’s the fight or flight response. Unfortunately that response isn’t activated only when exposed to physical threats, which was the intention, but also psychological, spiritual, and social threats as well. The overactivation of our stress response and having elevated levels of cortisol in our blood is actually responsible for many health issues. So managing stress is incredibly important, and at the end of the day, experiencing stress is natural but it is often out of place.

Overwhelm is an extension of stress. With overwhelm you’re feeling such significant levels of anxiety that it paralyzes you. Overwhelm is characterized by being so occupied with your circumstances, emotions, and realities that you cannot take action. The issue here is it creates a negative psychological loop that makes you more and more concerned, adding on more stress and anxiety, because you’re aware that you aren’t doing anything to relieve the situation. In that way it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and a negative spiral.

To manage overwhelm you need to do something counterintuitive. Just stop. Breathe slow, calm the sympathetic nervous system, and don’t make yourself do anything. In this case the way out is to wait it out. Give yourself time and space to let the overwhelm not have such a strong hold over you. After recalibrating you will regain the ability to take action in ways that reduce the stress you’re feeling.

It’s not easy but it is doable. To reflect on this and be more self-aware today ask yourself this question - What stresses me out more often than it should?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.