When we wake up in the morning, we would all love for our day to go flawlessly. We hope to be present in moments with people, focused on the task at hand, and feel fully-energized. But when reality sets in and we can’t maintain that intention, we struggle to get ourselves to meet even to a satisfactory baseline.

Days don’t go according to plan for a number of different reasons, some within your control and some outside of it, but one of the main things to really gain an awareness of is our own creative process. Rather than defining “creativity” through the lens of making art, we should recognize that in every moment we are creating the future from the present.

When it comes to creating there are three different places where people can get hung up:

The first is at the very beginning in getting started. A lot of people are paralyzed and preventing themselves from taking the first step. This often comes from a need to see the whole picture, to have a perfect plan in place that you can execute. But we need to stop romanticizing our creations and recognize that beginnings are ugly, awkward, and uncertain. But it’s part of the process.

Then the second place people get stuck is in the 'doing' itself. You might hold yourself to such a high standard that you fail to attain the quality you hoped to. The result you’re after hasn’t come through yet and it can be disappointing. This causes people to lose their sense of purpose and their motivation to be in the act of creating, causing them to step away and never return.

Then the last hurdle people need to overcome is finishing. It’s putting a period to the sentence, completing the task or project, and signing off that it is done. People seem to undo and redo their “finishing touches”, with the time invested leading to marginal returns. The reason people feel so compelled to keep making their creation better is because when it’s finished, now it’s ready for other people’s judgment. The work will be evaluated by someone else and it could be embarrassing or disappointing for someone to tell you that what you did wasn’t good enough. So a lot of people avoid that confrontation by delaying taking their creation to completion.

As you can tell, there’s a temporal sequence to these three stages and each stage presents its own challenges that cause people to get stuck. Reflect on where you’re at in a critical project right now and if it’s stalled, which stage it is in. Some focused attention right now might give that project exactly what it needs to work through it.

My goal in sharing insights like this one is simply to help you live the life you enjoy by doing things that are meaningful and being the person you’re proud to be. You can help someone you care about right now by sharing this message with them and inviting them into the journey!

You’re amazing!! Not sure if you needed to hear that but it never hurts :) 

What you have to offer the world is incredible. You are talented, you are powerful, and you’re only just getting started. The world doesn't need you to be anyone other than who you are.

But unfortunately, a lot of us resign to living a diluted version of our personalities. We fear that we’ll embarrass ourselves, draw negative attention to ourselves, or inadvertently put ourselves in harm's way... So we prevent it from happening at all by dimming our shine. 

The world needs you at full-speed attacking things quickly and confidently. The world needs you on fire with burning passion. The world needs you charged up so that you can activate to your fullest capacity! We’d all miss the goodness you have to offer if you only allow a fraction of yourself to be expressed.

So with all of that in mind - Be yourself, louder!

Don’t apologize about your methods or process. No one can take on your mission like you can.

Don’t dilute your dreams and aspirations because someone else is projecting their fears onto you. Let people know what you care about and that you’re pursuing it relentlessly.

Don’t turn your volume down at someone’s request because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Live your life how you want to and dance to the beat of your own drum.

I know, this is all easy to say and much harder to do in practice. Not only can it make you feel anxious to put yourself out there but it’s difficult to know what a louder version of yourself even looks like. 

And that’s where I want to give you a quick piece of advice - In order to amplify your life, you need to come to terms with who you are. Self-acceptance is a key element to a fulfilled, inspired life. It’s not enough to know who you are and who you’re not, you need to feel at peace with it and lean into your strengths.

So my ask of you is to shine a light on those parts of yourself that you don’t like, that you’re avoiding or that you’re not proud of. Come to terms with the role that it plays in your life and how it has been a part of creating who you are today.  

I’ve gone through this process and continue to immerse myself in it every day, and while sometimes it hurts or is confusing, I’ve discovered the next level of myself on the other side of everything that was holding me back!

On your personal development journey, you need to be sure you have the right foundation in place. Discover the 7 Fundamentals To Self Improvement and instantly accelerate your growth! (Who knows what you might be overlooking and how it’s holding you back…)

**Big announcement at the end! Make sure you read through**

What if I told you that you’re one habit away from mastering self-discipline and not only that, but that you can start consistently making the right choice on autopilot? 

Instead of negotiating with yourself about whether to pick the salad over the fries, you make the healthy decision effortlessly…

When your alarm goes off in the morning and you feel 100 pounds heavier, you jump right out of bed every time and never hit the ‘Snooze’ button… 

When you’re feeling worn out after a long day debating whether or not you should go to the gym, you move forward quickly without a second thought.

This response pattern is what I call your “Best Self Reflex”. Just like a reflex in your body that acts outside of your control, you can train yourself to take positive action unconsciously, allowing you to follow through on the things that are most important to you without strain.

The power of this reflex comes from your subconscious mind. The subconscious has the near limitless power to get you to do just about anything. If you’re intentional about priming your subconscious to fulfill on being self-disciplined, no task stands a chance against it.

Imagine how productive you’d be if you could pull yourself out of distractions and focus on what you need to do. Imagine how energized you’d feel if you got in the habit of exercising, meditating, and sleeping consistently. Instead of inconveniencing yourself to be "grit it out" and max out your will-power to get the most basic things done, you could do it effortlessly because your subconscious is providing the energy behind it.

Now here’s the really exciting part. It only takes 21 days to install your Best Self Reflex and start following through like ever before. You can build the habit of self-discipline so that you start living up the person you know you can be on a daily basis.

And that’s exactly what I want to share with you. I have distilled a 21 day process that trains this best self reflex into your psychology, that gets your subconscious to start working for you and not against you, so that you can start living out your best intentions, discover a sense of self-confidence that you never knew, and create unstoppable momentum in your life. Completing this process will usher you into the most productive, most inspired, and most achieving chapter of your life.

So here’s the deal. I am going to host a live 21 day challenge starting on Monday (February 6th) to share this step-by-step process with you. As long as 20 people sign up for it and show up to the first session, I’ll lead the whole thing for free. I’m serious!

You can learn all about the 21 Day Challenge to install the Super Habits System and register now by clicking the link here!

The time is now, we’re live on Monday, and I really hope you don’t postpone becoming the person you know you can be! Join me for 21 days to install your Best Self Reflex and you’ll discover what you’re truly capable of!

Last weekend I went on a volunteer trip to build a house for a family in need in Mexico. As we were getting ready to cross the border, my good friend and mentor Mike Sherbakov shared a quote that was really profound. He was relating it to the experience we were about to have but I believe it applies across the board in our lives.

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” It’s a quote by a man named Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. 

As we chase new perspectives and expose ourselves to new things, it all leaves a permanent impression on us. While we may not feel like things are different or have changed at all, the impact is subtle but present. Everything we experience influences our worldview in one way or another. If it’s an experience that validates what we believe, it makes the shape tighter. If it’s something that challenges the way we see the world, it will create a rip that will be repaired but will never returns to its original form.

This happens on big and small scales, for positive and negative experiences. During a service trip where you spend 48 hours with people living in poverty, it causes your perspective to permanently change so that even when the stimulus is removed the change remains. Similarly for something unfortunate, difficult, or challenging that happens, we carry the remnants of that experience with us even when we’re no longer in that situation.

We are dynamic human beings. Our present moment is a product of what happened in the past. Fortunately by the same math, this means that our future self is an outcome of the things we do in the present. So the more we can be intentional about our growth (the skills we’re building and the ways we’re developing, pursuing new experiences that mold our minds) the better our tomorrow will be!

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” A great quote and inspiring challenge for us to take on! 

If you want to give the gift of growth, forward this article with someone that you care about!

A question that we often ask each other to catch up is “What’s new?”. The question is well-intended but the response is usually underwhelming - "Work is good, family is good, all’s good!"

But if you actually think about the question it’s an opportunity to share what you’re most excited about, to reflect on how things are changing in your life, and to embrace your personal evolution.

Zooming out for a second and to add perspective, if you’re pursuing the best version of yourself there should always be something new going on. Something new you’re trying, something new you’re experiencing, something new you’re thinking more about.

There are only two options - Either things are changing or they’re not. So when things are stagnant and stuck, and nothing is changing, then you’re not allowing yourself to grow.

So I’m going to ask you this question - What’s new?

And I want you to find a real answer to it. Not just the superficial greeting we’re too accustomed to giving but a real example of how things have changed in your life.

Evolutionarily, if something is new it’s considered to be a threat. That’s because this novel thing is unpredictable and might be dangerous to us. But that predisposition is contrary to our growth, and if you want to reach new levels you need to do new things.

Marshall Goldsmith wrote a book whose title summarizes this perfectly - “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”.

You keep doing the same things that don’t feel new, you'll keep getting the same results you’re tired of getting. Or if you’re doing something that’s really good for you, it’ll eventually lose its shine unless you make a cognizant effort to keep it fresh.

So the next time someone asks you the question - “What’s new?”, tell them the new things you’re trying, the little experiments you’re running, the subtle changes you’re making.

The more you can identify these small novelties the more your identity will be built around being someone constantly pursuing positive change and growth. And the benefits of that are immense.

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I heard a really profound quote from former boxing champion Mike Tyson. The core theme of it is that we must not overgeneralize or assume anything. In fact, it’s often incorrect and biased when we try to draw conclusions from a narrow set of conclusions. The quote has two sides of it, equally profound, and I’ll dive into each independently. The quote is “Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everyone that helps you is not your friend.”

First, “everybody you fight is not your enemy”. Tyson understands this better than anyone as he built a life squaring off with someone in a boxing ring. The suggestion in this quote is that there’s way more to it than meets the eye. 

From one angle, someone you’re fighting with might be your competition. While they’re a thorn in your side making it harder for you to reach your goals, they’re presence is also a catalyst to your performance. No one likes losing and competition forces people to be better. So it’s not fair to say that competition, or who you’re fighting with, is an enemy. They play a specific role in your development that cannot be neglected.

And similarly, when you have a disagreement with a coworker, a family member, a friend, or whoever, that doesn't automatically qualify them as an enemy. When you put the emotions aside and focus on the core outcome you both want, it’s probably very similar. Fighting coworkers want to do what’s right for the company while feeling fairly valued themselves. Family members want to maintain a strong bond despite conflict. Again, just because you’re fighting with someone does not make them an enemy.

Now the second half, which is really juicy - “everyone that helps you is not your friend”. Just because it appears as though they’re doing something for you in the short-term, that doesn’t reflect their intentions in the long-term. People can be deceptive, selfish, and backstabbing. Often times the people who take advantage of you must first earn your trust. I’m not trying to be cynical but I do want to represent the reality of it, which is why you need to use more discernment to understand people’s intentions before drawing any conclusions about their behaviors.

And that’s really the summary. Give people benefit of the doubt and be collaborative and optimistic, but with a healthy dose of reflecting on their motivation. Good or bad, right or wrong. “Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everyone that helps you is not your friend.”

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Getting in the routine of taking cold showers doesn’t sound fun at all. I already hear you pleading “You can’t make me!”. While I do take cold showers and I usually recommend other people do also, it’s not for the reasons you might think of. 

I don’t know enough about the physiological benefits of a cold shower but I have heard that cold exposure is a great way to kickstart your metabolism. But what I’m more interested in exploring are the subtle psychological benefits that you can be intentional about recreating in other ways.

First, taking a cold shower is  an opportunity every day to remind yourself that you’re in control. In a society that is overstimulating and often causes us to be reactive, taking a moment to pause and choose who you want to be is a game-changer. Especially when it’s something uncomfortable, like cold, it reinforces that you are stronger than the circumstances around you. 

When I jump in the shower and flip it on cold, I repeat to myself through the discomfort “I am in control of the way that I feel” and I find that it translates to give me more presence in other uncomfortable moments that I didn’t choose but must respond to.

Second, it’s an opportunity to consistently tap into the power you have to create the life you desire. A great life is made up of great years, which have great months, great weeks, great days, great hours, great minutes, and great moments. When you make the choice that feels tough in the moment but serves you in the long term, you’re reminded of how you’re constantly making choices that affect the quality of your life. The more moments you can live in integrity with your most inspired, purposeful, intentional self, the more inspired, purposeful and intentional your life will be.

Now here’s the practical reality of it - When people think about incorporating a new habit they naturally go to the extreme side of the spectrum. In this case, that would be incorporating a 5 minute cold plunge routine. But the most sustainable way to actually make changes to your life is to start small. It could be 10, 20 seconds of cold. I’ve been doing it for a long time and one minute is enough for me. 

Don’t set yourself up for failure by making the bar too high from the beginning. If you want to start receiving some of the benefits I shared, it only takes a few moments of a cold shower to create a disproportionate impact for yourself. 

No matter how this lands, stay open-minded to new ideas. If a part of you is inspired by this, great! What will you do about it? If a part of you is dismissive of it, great, what can you learn about yourself from that reaction?

Something I learned through Brian Johnson and his personal development platform Heroic, which I use daily, is the etymological definition of confidence. The latin roots of confidence can be traced back to “con-fidere” which translates to “intense trust”. Now this might not make immediate sense when you think about your own relationship with feeling confident, so let’s break it down and you can see it for yourself.

First let’s think about scenarios that test your confidence. It’s following through on making that bold decision or taking a chance. It’s putting yourself out there, maybe even in a public way by speaking on a stage. The common theme in situations that require you to be confident is that they’re inherently uncertain. You’re making a decision and you don’t know if it’s the right one. You’re taking a chance and you don’t know how it will pan out. You’re on stage and you’re unsure if it’ll tank, if you'll embarrass yourself, or if the message will really land.

So for that reason I have always described confidence as how you perceive you will perform in an uncertain or unpredictable situation. When you’re confident you feel as though things will go well, and when you’re short on confidence you’re worried that it might not.

Now this is where the intense trust comes in. If you have your own back so genuinely, without hesitation or reservation, you have a knowingness that you will rise to the occasion. This gives you the perception that you will perform well through uncertainty. 

But also worth mentioning, if things do go poorly, you have the tools, mindsets to not let it destroy you. You have the trust in yourself that you can pick yourself back up if you fall. That’s also confidence, but being placed in more of a ‘recovery situation’.

A friend of mine named Heather Monahan has an expression that “at every moment you’re either creating confidence or chipping away at it.” She argues that this self-perception is a dynamic quality and you need to prove it to yourself. It involves putting yourself in these uncertain situations to realize that you’re capable of managing them well. It’s doing the work in advance so that you can be prepared and lean on all of the reps you’ve done in the past. 

Confidence is earned and grown over time. You need to invest in building that intense trust. But when you do you’ll start pushing the boundaries for what you thought was possible in the world.

And the good news - by showing up for this lesson, internalizing the growth, and investing in your future, you’re supporting your own confidence. It’s a first step and there are more to come, but you’re on the path.

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