Self Improvement Daily Podcast

Happy New Year! I’m fired up about everything that 2025 has in store and I want to make sure you’re set up for success. We can’t afford to go another year without the consistency, focus, good habits and high-performance we know we’re capable of. With that in mind, let’s make one very important correction.

In their self-improvement, many people are focused on acquiring more information. People are putting so much time into listening to podcasts and audiobooks… And they feel like they’re doing the right things because they’re investing so much time in their self-improvement. But after a few weeks or months pass and they have nothing to show for it, they get frustrated that they’re not getting the results or positive life changes they think they deserve.

That happens because real life change requires behavior change. Actions generate results.

If you run more often you’ll be able to run further and faster. If you write 3 things you’re grateful for every day you’ll actually start to see the world more positively. Learning about how to run, or about the benefits of gratitude won’t change your life. Sure, being more educated improves the quality of the actions you take, but that value is completely lost if you don’t take the action.

The metaphor I like to use is that of a car. Knowledge is power, right? Perfect, then consider information to be like fuel in a car. You need some to go, but the fuel alone won’t do anything. And given how readily available information is these days, fuel isn’t the limiting factor. Yet that’s where so many people are investing their time.

The limiting factor to our success and performance is our ability to do more with what we know. In other words, we need to upgrade our engine if we want to go further, faster, and be better in our lives. 

But what does that mean? It’s installing systems that lead to consistent good habits. It’s structuring your environment to support your priorities. It’s becoming clear on the standards you’ll hold yourself accountable to, and awareness of how you did on a daily basis.

As good as it feels to feel knowledgeable and sound impressive in conversations about self-development, what feels better is living up to your fullest potential and letting your actions speak louder than words.

To kick off the New Year I’ve put together something really special. Starting next Monday, January 6th I’m hosting a 21 Day New Year Challenge to help you start 2025 with better habits, routines, more life-structure. It’s a radical upgrade of your self-improvement engine that walks you through how to take consistent, high-impact actions that radically transform your health, productivity, and mindset. And the best part, 100% of the program cost will be donated to charity.

It’s called New Year, New You, For Good - and if you want to start 2025 in the best way possible - with life change that lasts and by making a difference in the world, sign up for the Challenge today!

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In personal development people have an obsession with building good habits - to get into the gym consistently, to practice portion control, to get up first thing in the morning without hitting the snooze button, to meditate in the morning, to get some movement in throughout the day, this list goes on and on.

And for good reason. Having good habits is arguably the best thing you can do to live a happier, healthier, more impactful life. If actions create results, then consistent good actions will generate the results you want in life.

But as good as having good habits are, don’t waste your time building them. You should build good systems instead, and the habits come as a natural byproduct.

When most people think of habits they think of being disciplined, of doing what you said you were going to do even when you don’t feel like it. But that’s an uphill battle of relying on willpower to make yourself do the things you’re telling yourself you need to do. 

It doesn’t need to be that hard. In fact, by definition habits are meant to be automatic, unconscious, and habitual. They’re supposed to be effortless. What’s way more effective and sustainable is to put your time and energy into building systems where the natural output of the system is the desired behavior.

The reason systems breed true consistency is because they are part of the environment. Good systems change the path of least resistance in a positive way, making positive action automatic.

This is the difference: Imagine you’re in a canoe on a river. Without any effort, you will float wherever the river is headed. That’s the environment. If you want to go somewhere else, if downstream is not desirable, then you need to paddle and change course. This is using will-power. Building a system is like digging a moat or putting up a dam that changes the direction of the current, so that it naturally pulls you where you want to go.

The biggest opportunity for you to be more consistent in your life, and actually have good habits, is to update the systems in your life.

If you don’t know how to do that, but you know that your inconsistency is holding you back from reaching your fullest potential - it's time you become a consistency, productivity, high-performance, change-making machine. If you want my help with that, we can start here!

I can’t attest to how true this is, but my grandma told me that in the New Year there’s a new state law in California where you can’t park within 20 feet of a crosswalk. And it’s not like cities are going to paint every curb red that this affects, it’s on us to remember this new law and change our behavior accordingly.

This is most likely how it’s all going to go down: People either haven’t heard about the law, or forget about the new law, so they’ll park as they usually do and get a ticket. Each ticket will interrupt their pattern, offer a short-term pain that slowly encodes as a lesson until our everyday behavior changes. What won’t happen is people preparing to adjust their behavior in advance so that they don’t get into trouble once the law is being enforced. 

It’s the difference between being reactive to the consequences and proactive about preparing to do it right. It’s human nature to only make something a priority once it becomes a problem in an effort to conserve energy and do things in familiar ways. 

At the core of it, it’s this same bias that is responsible for moments where we lack self-control and give in to immediate pleasures over what benefits us the most. Like over-splurging on dessert, scrolling too long on social media, getting angry at a friend, or purchasing something that makes us feel good about ourselves.

Those that are proactive, and choose to invest in learning the lesson or making the changes before they’re needed, are less wasteful of their time, energy, and resources. It’s those who can think ahead and prepare today for what comes tomorrow that are in a better position to maximize the opportunities headed their way. 

Ultimately, being proactive over reactive is the result of two things: Awareness to know what you should be doing that most serves you, and discipline to follow through on that plan even when you don’t feel like it.

I call that living intentionally, and when you have a thoughtful reason for everything you do, with an understanding for the good and bad that could come from it, you start taking action in empowering ways that build the life you desire.

During a Holiday break, you might start to feel guilty about your choices. You’re on the road and not in your normal environment, and it’s more likely to miss your workout a few times. Big family gatherings involve lots of tasty food and you let yourself splurge more than you’d ideally like to. Maybe the TV is on more than it usually is at home and you find yourself stuck to the couch. Speaking from experience here…

But unfortunately this could be something that slows you down and causes you to lose the positive momentum you had. If you don’t want that to be the case, here are a few things you can consider doing.

First is to earn small wins. Maybe you can’t get into a gym on Christmas Day, but you could go for a walk to get some movement in. And maybe you’re off your diet a little and not eating as healthfully as you usually do, but you choose to eat mindfully and keep yourself from over-snacking or getting seconds unnecessarily. 

While it doesn’t seem like much, these little moments do a lot for your momentum. Instead of zeroing out and going back to the beginning, getting yourself to do even the smallest fraction of something that contributes toward your goals helps you to stay aligned with them. Rather than the Holiday trip being some major step back, you find ways to generate control that keeps you moving forward. Of course ideally you hold yourself to the same high-standard you have for yourself, but if you can’t do that it’s really beneficial to hold yourself to a standard.

Then second, the more obvious point of intervention is to transition quickly back into your normal routine. There can be a ‘Holiday Hangover’ that comes as a result of previous poor choices. Bad food and more TV makes you feel more sluggish. In order to shake it off, you need to reassert yourself back into the standard you’re committed to maintaining. It may require more will-power and self-control than normal, but it’s worth the investment because it gets you back on track.

At the foundation of it all, you need a few things: Awareness of how you did and the state of your choices, accountability so that you can be honest about your level of performance, and grace to know that growth is a process that is not linear but always trending up as long as you show up for it.

If you need help incorporating any of those things  - so that you can hold yourself to a higher standard and stop undoing all of the progress you make when you step out of your normal routine - then you should check out this high-performance system that keeps you consistent even when life has other plans. It's the same one I've been using for over a decade!

While this all centralizes around the Holidays, it's true year round. A change at work interrupts the rhythm you've built in the gym. New responsibilities at home make it harder to meal prep. If you want to make 2025 a year where you hold yourself to a higher standard regardless of all the chaos and changes that are happening around you... This is the missing piece!

I’m sharing this on Christmas Eve, and for those who are celebrating - Merry Christmas! For those who aren’t I wish you a special, joyful, warm Holiday season.

As a Holiday, Christmas is known to be an opportunity to get gifts from loved ones and receive the gifts loved ones have gotten for you. While gift-giving dominates what people think about leading up to Christmas, it’s the intention behind it that’s most important.

Getting a gift for someone is a very thoughtful gesture. You take the time to think about their passions, interests, needs, and future-direction to give them something that they’ll find helpful for enjoyable. It’s an expression of love and care to want to get someone special something nice.

What goes along with getting gifts for loved ones is spending time with them. For Christmas families gather and reunite in wonderful ways. Phone calls and pictures sent from miles apart turn into warm hugs and quality time together. And it’s in these moments when you can give the greatest gift of all - your energy and attention. 

As much as a new sweater, toy, or book helps to make someone feel loved and appreciated, your presence is the greatest present. What’s more impactful than a gift you buy for someone is that moment of connection you have with them when they open it, and the conversations you have catching up on all things in life. 

The generosity of gift giving creates the right conditions for real, meaningful time to be spent together. So make the most of it! Lean in, listen, ask questions that bring up great stories, stay off your phone, and give people your most present self. It’ll help them meet their needs for love and belonging unlike any other gift could, and you’ll feel really good about how you spend your day!

Our relationships, and the people we associate, with are among the most important and influential aspects of our life. Wired into our DNA is a need to be in community because evolutionarily it offered humankind safety. In today’s world, that urge is still very much alive. But since the stakes aren’t as high, it is being expressed in a different way.

This is where I want to outline the difference between ‘fitting in’ and ‘belonging’. To ‘fit in’ is to be like everyone else. Your look, interests, preferences, and mannerisms aren’t that different from what other people got going on. You blend in with the crowd. But the problem is that you still feel separate, just one of many who isn’t drawing attention to themselves. To ‘fit in’ feels safe, but it’s also lonely.

To belong is to be part of the shared experience if the crowd. You don’t feel lost or looked over in a sea of people, and instead feel safe to express yourself freely. When you belong you don’t need to ‘fit in’ because your uniqueness is accepted. And while you naturally share interests and values with the other people in your group, you have the freedom to be different.

When we seek community in our lives, we naturally try to ‘fit in’. It’s the hardwired setting that we’re pulled toward because it keeps us safe and alive. But we don’t want to just be alive… We want to live! And it takes effort and courage to be above what’s expected of you and express yourself vulnerably and fully!

In the book “Belong”, Radha Agrawal talks a lot about how building community is an intentional process, and that the only way you find your tribe is by taking action and showing up. As simple as it is, a good litmus test is to ask yourself if the people around you make you feel good about yourself when you’re with them.

My favorite quote as a kid is relevant here. It’s from Dr. Seuss and it goes “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Will some people disagree with, be resistant to, and not vibe well with the fullest expression of you? Of course. But they aren't your people. Find those who embrace it and love you for it.

James Stockdale is a naval aviator who won the Medal of Honor for his bravery during the Vietnam War. In 1965 his plane was shot down and as he ejected from his plane, he only had a few minutes to prepare himself for what would become some of the most challenging years of his life as a Prisoner Of War. 

But James Stockdale wasn’t your average man, he was a practicing Stoic. As he descended to land he recognized that he was entering the world of Epictetus, a major Stoic figure who was a slave and physically disabled that coined many of the wise truths we know Stoicism to be today.

This means that Stockdale knew that he would be captured, tortured, and treated in the most terrible ways humans could ever treat each other. But he also knew all of that was out of his control, and he committed that his captors would never be able to take his inner resilience and freedom.

In order to survive these conditions, Stockdale had to embrace an unexpected paradox. On one hand, he needed to have undying belief that in the end, things would be okay. He needed to maintain hope that he would return to his family and the life he wanted, no matter the odds. 

But on the other hand, he had to be very practical. He knew that being a Prisoner of War would be challenging, and that he’d have to endure years of horrific treatment. He had to accept his current conditions and not deny them because that would do more harm than good.

It’s this unique combination of overly optimistic hope, paired with a practical and painful embrace of reality, that got him through 7 years of captivity. He never broke, defected, or complied with his captors demands to be used for political propaganda. He lived in the virtuous world of Epictetus.

I share this story because while the stakes in our lives aren’t so high, the same principles come out. Maybe you have some things in life that you realize are unlikely to happen. It’s by fully believing it will happen, and accepting the time, work, and sacrifice that comes with making it happen, that you’ll actually be able to achieve it. 

Like James Stockdale, we each have that best version of ourselves living inside of us. We just need to summon the courage to bring them out!