If you’ve ever traveled out of the country, or even just outside of your hometown and comfort zone, you’ve probably gotten a feel for the exhilaration of seeing new places. Well, that’s exactly what happened to Chelsey Evans, a travel blogger and the founder of MyExploreWithMe. She takes a practical approach to travel, knowing that it takes money to make it happen. But she has a solution!

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Live life to the fullest and enjoy the way you spend your time. It’s not unreasonable to believe that we all deserve happiness in our lives.  In fact, I think it’s a human right.

Let’s try something. let’s reverse the order of the clauses. Make the days count, don’t count the days. Did that change the meaning at all for you?  It sounds like more of a challenge, like an approach to life rather than a suggestion.  It seems more actionable to, like it is a tangible concept that can be pursued rather than an abstract thought.

Why does that work? It’s because with the reverse order we are no longer starting the quote with a negative statement. Our minds get defensive when we are introduced to something negative, and the way we perceive that message shifts to accommodate for being defensive.   

Well, that’s where positivity co In life. In life, we are surrounded by similar but more subtle examples of this. We can choose to default to negativity or we can elect to default to positivity. The events and circumstances around us might be out of our control, but the way we perceive those events is not. We can see things in a positive light or go on living on defense.

So, as great as the quote we all know and love is, I prefer to change the order to, "make the days count, don’t count the days".

I got extremely lucky in how I learned this lesson, and I wanted to share it with you. Recently, I was at an amazing event where we brainstormed as a group the ways we could give back to the community, with one of those ideas being put into action at the end of the event. So, a few finalists got to present their programs to the group, and when I was watching the presentations I noticed something interesting. Each person in their pitch spoke with conviction, like they had already won the competition.

They were saying things like, “we are going to implement a mentorship program”, or “we will work with veterans”. And the way they spoke left zero room for doubt. It made for a persuasive and compelling argument, which demanded confidence and respect.

If I were in that position I would have said something like “if selected, we would try to implement a mentorship program”, or “we’re gonna see if we can work with veterans”.  If I’m being honest, I’d do that to put distance between the program and myself, just to protect myself from failure if it doesn’t get selected. But, the more I think of it, the more I realize that speaking like that would rule myself out before I even gave it a chance. My pitch would be over before I started because I didn’t fully believe in it. And that’s something the audience would recognize.

So, what can we do to speak with more conviction? For one, it’s about controlling our vocabulary. Some of us have a tendency to use weakened vocabulary so that our message is more likely to be received. So, avoid saying things like, "I just thought that"or “I mean” because it does present your message with conviction.  And then second - just believe in yourself! If you truly believe in what you are speaking about, it will come off as much more confident and assured. Those are two takeaways that I definitely want to start working on, because after hearing the power behind these presentations, I want to give it a try for myself!

The individual who encouraged me to seriously pursue personal development is Darren Hardy. He believes that consistency in positive choice is a foundation that will create massive change down the road, which has become a pillar in my life, and his challenge to define success has been equally influential. In an interview Darren shared a bit about something he believed lives at the cornerstone of his success, which is to fail quickly and massively. I’m still trying to understand exactly what I think about this concept, so I want to pass it off to you.

It goes to show that there is value in the negative as long as you know what to do with it!

A while back, I got up in the morning and got in the car to go to work, only to find that there was a crack in my windshield. It was disappointing of course, but it was small, so I didn’t think much of it. Then as time passed, the crack continued to creep further and further across my windshield until it got to a point where repairing it was unavoidable. So, I booked an appointment to get it fixed at the dealer.  

That was not the right decision. Not only was it much more expensive than it needed to be, but the dealership doesn’t accept insurance, and I got jerked around by the staff trying to get a ride, which made me late for work. It was frustrating and I was getting upset.

But, then I decided to take ownership of the situation. It was my fault that I let the car get to this point, and I could have managed the crack better before it required a full windshield repair. I could have been more proactive about reaching out to insurance earlier to understand how to best handle the situation, but I didn’t. Also, I have so many knowledgeable friends and family who could have guided me through the process of what I should have done, but I didn’t ask anyone which is my fault also. I realized that my frustration and emotion could have been avoided had I done something differently.  

After taking ownership, I was able to take a position of gratitude. How lucky I was to have a car, and for this repair to be the only thing I needed. There is so much worse out there and I tried to keep that in perspective.  The lessons I learned is don’t procrastinate when it comes to things you don’t know much about, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’ll take those with me for years to come

I’m taking you all way back today.  Back in high school, I adopted a mentality called, "Do it for the story". I was in my senior of high school and I wanted to get more out of life. I felt like I was just going through the motions in order to fit in, and I wanted to start living more. So, my buddy Dan and I created this, "Do it for the story" concept about putting yourself out there without expectation of what might happen, all while ready to seize opportunity when it presented itself.

Some unbelievable things have happened because I chose to do it for the story. I don’t want to get into too much detail about it because this was the topic of the TedX Talk I delivered. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GE5CkiMLBI‍

How can do it for the story be incorporated on a daily basis? Well, it’s like the movie "Yes Man". If someones invites you to do something and you have a bunch of excuses why you don’t want to do it, but none of those excuses are any good, then you say yes and you give it a try. Just the act of putting yourself out there to expose yourself to new things presents unimaginable opportunity!

In life, there are things that happen, challenges that test to our core. Maybe the odds are stacked against you, or your at the mercy of things that are beyond your control. It might not be fair, and there might not be a solution, but you need to pull through anyway. Well, in light of those situations, it is possible to hit a mental reset to improve the situation if you’ll allow it.

“Even the worst days only last 24 hours”.

When experiencing hardship, you can frame your problems in a certain way that will help them go away. A new day is a new opportunity. You can always reset your emotions and build them back up from scratch if needed. This is a concept Admiral William McRaven shared in his famous commencement speech. McRaven talks about the value of making your bed every day because no matter what happens, coming home to a made bed reminds you that something went right and gives you optimism about tomorrow.  Similarly, when putting your head down at night, you can choose to be optimistic about how things will be the next day. It’s how thing work themselves out. Often times the energy you put out brings that energy back to you. With enough positivity and optimism that the new day will bring relief, you are more likely to find the relief you are seeking.

Can you think of one time when your bad days every lasted longer than 24 hours? I can’t. Welcome the new day with a new attitude and things will begin improving before your eyes!

On a long road trip, when your podcasts start sounding bland, your book on tape isn’t making sense any more, or you have nothing left to talk about with you shotgun rider, what do you do?  I imagine you start listening to music, right?

Even on short drives, and I can speak for myself, what I do while I’m driving really depends on my mood.  Sometimes I decide to crank up the volume and sing my heart out! I was doing that today on my way home from a visit, and I wanted to share some of the benefits of doing this.

First, music and specifically singing is a great way to express emotion. So, if you are sad and need to get it out your system, or happy and want to celebrate, singing is a great way to handle your emotion, releasing positive neurotransmitters and endorphins in the process.

On top of that, the nature of singing allows for quick deep inhales and long exhales, simulating yoga breathing and inducing similar effects. And some studies even suggest that people have a longer life expectancy when they sing often. 

But, the larger point I want to bring up, is we’ve all caught someone in the car next to us watching us sing wholeheartedly. As a response, we get embarrassed, self-conscious, and temper our singing. I am guilty of it too, but it’s ridiculous that a random stranger can dictate our behavior and affect us that strongly. I think we can make a statement to ourselves to sing louder, overcome that judgment, and continue reaping the benefits of singing in the car!