I first just want to take a moment to receive this quote, because it feels really refreshing today.  It comes from Postiive Thinking Only, “Use your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile”.

A smile is a universal expression. It speaks all languages, overcomes all differences, and holds all space. It’s something that two people can always share and instantly connect.  Your smile is representative of your being and the unique role you play in the world.  Your smile is unlike any other.

A true smile can’t be faked. It is one of the most reliable forms of communication, and the effect it has on others is powerful.  It is capable of cutting through layers and impacting others on a personal and emotional level. A smile is also capable of changing the world one interaction at a time.

However, our smiles are also responsive to our environment. Our emotions are expressed through our smiles, and when we are exposed to negativity, it affects our mental state and the way others receive it.  Our smiles can betray us because they can’t be faked and tell the true story.

That’s why this quote, “Use your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile”, is so beautiful. By choosing to see positivity, and focusing on your many reasons to smile, you can begin to infuse that love in those immediately around you.  This creates a local effect that then amplifies as each affected person becomes an advocate and impacts those immediately around them.  We need more smiles in this world. You never know the real effect a smile will have on the lives of others!

Part 3 of the habit loop presented in James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. Remember the cycle includes a cue, a craving, a response, and a reward. We’ve covered cue, and craving. Now it’s time for response.

The response is the action taken. It is the habit, the routine, the activity. This action is labeled as a response because it is determined by the cue and the craving.  Positive action leads to positive results. It is really important that we have control of the habit cycle at this level.

Clear has a brilliant solution to it, which is to make the response easy. As humans, we are susceptible to something called the law of least effort. We are evolutionarily hardwired to preserve energy at all costs. This is why we have a natural tendency to prefer procrastinating, and laziness. So, with that in mind, making the behavior easier will help us to perform it more often. It’s not about doing less, it’s about doing more with less effort.

One thing he proposes is the two minute rule. If you want to start something new, keep it at a very small effort level. Instead of running a marathon, start with putting your running shoes on. It’s easier. And the rest of the activity usually follows as a result. The key here is being consistent, because frequency is a leading factor when it comes to habit formation.

And as always, the inversion. What if you want to do less of something bad. Well then you make it harder. You can take the batteries out of your remote if you want to watch less TV, or move the TV all together. By intentionally adding friction to the activity, you are much less likely to do it because it requires the extra work.  This is called using a commitment device, and they work!

We are on to part 2 of the book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear. We are slowly but surely developing a well-rounded understanding of our habit forming process.  Remember, the habit loop is cues, cravings, response, reward.

First, we are going to discuss cravings. Cravings are the most underrated component of the habit loop because they have only recently been better understood. The strength and influence of cravings can best be demonstrated with a quick explanation of neurobiology. Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter in our reward experiencing pathway, and it was designed evolutionarily to encourage positive behaviors that help in survival. Makes sense. But only recently was it discovered that the largest dopamine spike in the brain occurs in anticipation of the reward, not while experiencing the reward. This is really important because that is exactly when cravings are active.

So, let’s not fight against this normal pattern we have, let’s use it to our advantage. And that’s where James Clear presents his solution to optimizing for cravings. Make it attractive. If we want to add a positive behavior, it likely doesn’t have a natural high-dopamine release that sustains a craving. You can associate that behavior with something else that does to make the positive behavior more attractive. He calls this temptation bundling.  For example, if you want to meditate in the morning, link it with your morning coffee. The natural craving will help you act on the positive behavior once they become associated.

He also suggests changing your mentality, and sited an example I’ve used before. The difference between “I have to” and “I get to”. With time that self-talk will change the way you approach the thought and slowly train your brain to crave it more over time.

Part 2: Optimize for your cravings by making it attractive.

This week is going to be a series of lessons that all come from James Clear’s book “Atomic Habits”.  In the book, he shares how our habit loop is divided into four parts, and I want to address each segment of the habit loop individually so we can optimize the routines and behaviors in our lives!

So, let’s do it.  The 4 part process involves a cue, a craving, a response, and a reward.

Starting at the top with cues.  All habits require a cue to initiate the process. These cues are normal stimuli in your environment that prompt you to take conscious or subconscious actions.  Your environment is littered with cues that induce your current behaviors, and if you want to make a change, you need to optimize for your triggers because they begin the cascade toward action.

Clear’s proposal to adding positive habits is make cues obvious. It makes sense, it all needs to start from the top, and we can design our lives around that. If you want to workout in the morning, set out your workout clothes. If you want to read at night, leave a book on your pillow. Being intentional about the cues you are putting out can help guide your behavior to make the positive change you are hoping for. The important piece to this is that the cue presents itself in the right time and place where you are willing to go on to performing the behavior.

If you want to reduce how much you perform a certain behavior, the opposite (or as he calls it the inversion) applies. Make the cue invisible. If you want to go on social media less on your phone, hide the app and turn off notifications.  If you want to quit smoking, don’t hangout with smokers. The cue produces the craving that inspires the action, that elicits a reward, so controlling your cues is the first step to developing positive routines.

That’s part one: Optimizing for cues. Make them obvious.

This story is empowering, inspiring, and unbelievably impressive. I had the privilege of meeting Juana, a 17 year old girl in Maneadero Mexico. I went to Mexico as part of a house build project through Baja Bound and The Greatness Foundation, and was wholly moved by the experience.  

During my time there I learned that Juana was born into poverty with no access to clean water, no electricity, and living on the dirt. Another group came through and donated their time to build her family a house. Through a related organization, she also was given a scholarship to study in a local school. Juana’s dad disapproved of her desire to pursue education and refused to let her go, but her mom stood up for her and insisted. Sexism, unfortunately, is still most definitely present in our world.

Both of Juana’s parents worked in the field to provide for the family, so at 7 years old, Juana went to school with her baby brother strapped to her chest so she could take care of him and study. She continued providing for her family beyond her years through today. Now, at 17, she wants to study psychology and help other girls in her village to understand that their dreams can become a reality. She wants to serve the community she was born into and fight against the injustices. Her maturity and poise for her age was unbelievably impressive and her mission even more so.  

This message carries many tips. The message that stand out is we are capable of more than we know, we must continue to be cognizant of oppression, and perspective is one hell of a motivator.

In one of my favorite videos of all-time, Admiral William McRaven’s iconic commencement speech at the University of Texas, McRaven shares the 10 life lessons he learned from basic Navy Seal training. Lesson 8 is, “if you want to change the world, you must be your very best in your darkest moments".

I see this as very related to our quote today because it also acknowledges the importance of performing at your best when the situation is not the best. To me, it’s a separation between the task at hand and the mentality you approach the task with. If you tell yourself something is hard, it is going to be even harder, and you give yourself an easy way out before it has even begun. But, the alternative is preparing your brain and body for action in those difficult times with a belief that your best will come out. This will help you live up to the challenge and even overcome it. Basically, if you can prime your brain to perform at it’s best in these trying moments, you will succeed more often.

The best way to prime your brain is through positivity, by seeing the opportunity in the situation, and being grateful for the challenge because we know that through challenges we experience growth. Approaching tasks with positivity will rewrite your reality and allows you to be more effective in whatever environment you find yourself in. So, in order to be at your strongest when you feel at your weakest, use a positive perspective to help you perform at your best.

This message comes from our next SISD guest Bex Bedford. Bex is leading the movement when it comes to body positivity and self-acceptance. She is a plus sized SSBBW, (super sized big beautiful woman), and as we’ll hear in her interview she has long history of hating herself and her body. She has grown immeasurably and is dedicating to sharing.

So for Bex, self-acceptance is about understanding yourself and the areas you may not love about yourself, take responsibility for those things and their presence in your life. View yourself as a whole and not fixate on those parts. She has a powerful message that affects people beyond the overweight community.

Full-disclosure, this might be biased because it fits into my personality type. I’m not going to motivate you with a speech or draw attention to areas that need to be better. In fact, when I was the captain on my college soccer team there was a running joke about me speaking in any kind of motivational way. I was self-conscious about it at the time, and took it personally, but with maturity I gained self-awareness and realized that wasn’t me. And that’s okay. Instead I lead by example, and guess what?There’s no one else my teammates would rather go to battle with. My actions motivated them to put more into the competition. I lead by example.

A prerequisite of leading by example is getting in the trenches and doing the dirty work. Your example demonstrates the importance of that type of work, and your team noticing that you do it with care and precision inspires them to do the same. It builds a layer of respect around the task and your capability as a practitioner.

Something I always love thinking about is the distinction between a boss and a leader. A boss is someone who directs people, and uses them to accomplish an objective. A leader shows people how to do it, and contributes in accomplishing the objective.  

So, the next time you find yourself in a leadership position lead by example, and lead from the front.

Recently, I asked myself a question I should have asked myself a long time ago. What is the difference between personal development and self improvement? Aren’t they interchangeable? I don’t think it’s that simple, and I wanted to take a moment to explore that.

First, the way I like to think of personal development is to focus narrowly on what development means.  In all areas of life, development usually speaks to something being in progress. And personal development is no different, it speaks more to the daily process we undergo that contributes to growth

Self improvement, on the other hand, is more outcome based. For something to improve, that means it needed to be in a certain state, and then become better into a new state. So, in that way, self improvement is more the deliverable of the process and the evidence of growth.

To tie those two things together, personal development is the process that leads to achieving self improvement. That’s not to say it takes a long time to experience self improvement, things can change for the better in a matter of minutes. The difference isn’t related to time, it’s about the lens by which you are evaluating the progress.  Personal development is the how, and self improvement is the what.

With this in mind, do I regret calling the podcast SID? No actually, because by investing the time in your personal development to listen to the podcast, you can experience self improvement every day. So, I think it’s quite fitting actually!