Those goals that you have, the dream life that you aspire for, that perfect relationship and job… Is that something you’re interested in having or are you committed to making it happen? It’s a very important distinction, and something that John Assaraf mentions in his book "Innercise".

If you’re interested in something then it exists as an idea, a possibility in your life for how things can go. The problem is there’s no definitiveness, no decision, and therefore no pressure or accountability toward making it happen. It’s a very passive approach toward the things that you want. If you are committed to something, then you are acknowledging that you’re going to do what it takes to make it happen. By committing you put yourself out there and begin to take positive action where failure is not an option. With this intention, a possibility becomes a probability and things will start to fall into place so that it does happen, because it must happen one way or another.

The key difference is this - When you’re interested in something, your focus is on the "If". There’s doubt about if this thing is going to happen or not. When you are committed to something, the focus is on the "How". It’s going to happen, now it’s about how to make it happen. 

So I ask you to be critical of yourself. How do you approach the things that you want. Are you interested in them happening, or are you committed to making them happen?

In marketing there’s a term called Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs, and they are exactly what they sound like - Agreed upon standards that help you measure your work against your objectives, aka your performance. Things can get complicated, with many marketing campaigns pulling many different levers, so KPIs are used to understand fundamentally if the work you are doing is driving business and generating results in a reliable way.

There are two types of KPIs, a leading KPI which is more a direct, objective measure of a tactic, and a lagging KPI, which is the longer term effect or the business goal you are trying to meet.

Within the context of personal goal setting, we over emphasize the lagging KPI, or the final objective, and believe that just by stating it it’s going to happen. Getting clear on the ultimate goal is definitely important from an efficiency and motivational standpoint, but where’s the structure? That’s where our leading KPIs come into play.

The leading KPIs are what we execute on every single day to produce our end goal. They are the fuel behind the growth and development that leads to an improved result. Remember, personal development is the process, self improvement is the state.

Take a community member, Arozo, for example. She’s training for a marathon and was looking for some goal setting guidance. The lagging KPIs were clear - to be able to finish the race, as well as to be able to run X many miles by Y date. That works great as a progress check, but how does she get there? Leading KPIs - Run this many miles a week, cross train that many times, the things she does on a daily basis to build up her fitness. It’s consistency in the daily activities, measured by leading KPIs, that generate the real impressive results, as indicated by the lagging KPIs.

I was reading with my nephew a number of months ago and the book we were reading, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss, left a big impression on me. It’s a clever story that gives great advice on how to navigate life and deal with adversity. 

While I encourage you to read the whole book, I am going to recite a few of the final lines that I particularly enjoy.

“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dextrous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed? Yes you will indeed! (98 ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains!" 

There are a few underlying thoughts in this excerpt I want to highlight. First is to acknowledge imperfection. You’ll make mistakes and wrong decisions and get caught up in the wrong places. Second, as a response to that, is being intentional. While you can’t control a lot you can control yourself, and it’s up to you to strike the balance that best fits your needs and circumstances. Then finally, in the face of adversity and within those choices, success is inevitable. It’s just about guaranteed!  That’s because those things that you thought weren’t possible, that seem to present inconveniences and limitations in your life, are non-existent. And that’s exactly how the story ends. 

“So… be your name Bauxbaum or Brixy or Bray, or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way.”

I wanted to honor the message and eloquence of a leader who has passed. I’ve seen the response the community has had toward Chadwick Boseman's life and contribution, and wanted to acknowledge his legacy. Despite strong opposition, Chadwick persevered to give a voice to so many people and represents a new era of black empowerment. Not surprisingly, he did so through a trial and error process that guided him toward his purpose.

It’s not always smooth, and it doesn’t always seem like it’s working, but everything you experience is preparing you for the deepest expression of your purpose. Life and its challenges are a training ground for you to be able to contribute to your ultimate capacity.

First, to understand why forgiveness is important we need to reflect on its purpose. To forgive is to overcome the negative emotions you feel toward someone or something, and no longer let that thing have power over your well-being. The underlying root of this is that something inside you hurts. You’re in pain because of something in your past and you need to rationalize that pain by attributing it to something else.

So what you must do before you externally forgive is you must internally accept. While I do want to remain respectful of any past traumas you may have experienced, you must recognize that your past is part of your life. It cannot be changed, and the best response you can have toward things that cannot be changed is to accept. This often involves finding meaning and purpose in the trauma or experience, because then it can be viewed as a necessary element to your growth and actualization rather than something that holds you back.

Basically, you must first forgive yourself and process your emotions before looking externally. Then at that point, if you feel like it’s important and productive, you can begin to forgive externally and relive those difficult emotions in a vulnerable way but with a new perspective and purpose behind it.

This moment right now is a miracle. You have ears and eyes that have evolved perfectly to experience the world around you, which is an incredibly delicate process. Your life came from 400 trillion to one odds that two specific cells meet, to then divide and create everything that makes up you and your body. The order of your actions and thoughts in the next hour are completely dependent on every second before it, in your lifetime and beyond, and every detail of your future is still being designed right this instant!

Everything that happens in this existence is a miracle.The definition of a miracle is “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.” The odds of things happening exactly how they did are unbelievably low, which makes you wonder, what if they hadn’t? This belief is a powerful perspective to take because it represents how everything that has happened and will happen is all a bonus. If that’s the case, then we can welcome any and all things into our lives with curiosity and enthusiasm just like any miracle deserves.

An underlying sentiment to this thought is gratitude. It doesn’t matter if you interpret these events as divine or coincidental, the consistent truth is that it all happened against all odds. And the fact that it all happened for you, in such a precise and profound way, gives you a lot to be grateful for.

One of the most important, but most difficult traits we can possess is empathy. Empathy is an ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes, observe the context around their mental processes, and understand why they believe things to be a certain way or feel a certain way. This characteristic serves us in a number of different ways - Emotionally supporting a friend or loved on, attempting to motivate someone, trying to do business with someone, or trying to understand how someone has different political beliefs. 

But the flaw with empathy is that it is largely based on assumptions and when you assume, it leaves a lot of room for interpretation, subjectivity, and opinion. So if you want to be more effective, you need to remove the judgment and biases you're feeling and try to approach the situation at face-value. 

If you want to emotionally support a friend, ask more targeted questions to understand the context of the problem, so that you can address the root of the emotion and not about the superficial display of that emotion. If you want to motivate someone, think about their goals and objectives and how you can position what you want them to do as a means of achieving it. If you want to do business with someone, think about the stakeholders and pressures they must respond to and how this would make them look in the eyes of a boss or superior. 

Your ability to be empathetic is strengthened by your ability to remove yourself from someone’s situation, which requires radical open-mindedness and zero judgment. Empathy is a fundamental trait that, when exercised right, will allow you to be more effective in your interactions with others.

Let’s keep it simple and take it back to 3 words that changed my life. It’s a concept I do morning affirmations on and it’s something that a lot of emotions hide behind. Those 3 words are: You are worthy.

Those dreams and aspirations you have, you deserve them. That community group you’re involved in, you belong. Those feelings of joy and fulfillment you’ve experienced in the past, you earned them and you’re capable of feeling them again! Don’t let everyone else’s negativity get in the way of your shine.

Your past experiences may have set a standard that you’ve been living by, but when you have the self-confidence to look beyond those standards you’ll see how they’ve been limiting you. You might be appeasing others’ opinions and expectations out of unworthiness, which is keeping you from allowing yourself to live a fully-expressed life.

But remember, no matter how bad things have gotten or how low you’ve been, your existence today demonstrates that you are capable of persevering! And every time you persevere you create evidence that you are capable, you do deserve it, and you do belong. When you believe that you’re worthy of receiving what the world has to offer, it will deliver with abundance and you will elevate without restrictions.

To get to that place of believing in your worth, what do you need to do? You need to produce proof. You need to take action in a way that is consistent with you believing you're worthy. By investing in yourself and putting yourself out there knowing you’ll be okay if you fall short. You’ll quickly find that you are worthy, you are abundant, and now is the time to shine.