Something that I've been very personally affected by in my life is caring what others think about me. I have a tendency for overvaluing the way others will perceive the decisions I make, or things I choose to do, and it often leads to me doing what I feel like I should do and not what I authentically want to do. Rooted in it is a fear of rejection, a fear of failure, and a fear of disappointing others. For me, I think this comes from growing up in really competitive environments and finding self-worth in my external accomplishments rather than my internal progress.

I know I’m not alone in this, which is why I’m sharing about it. As social animals, it’s literally within our evolutionary history to consider the perspective of others. Those who did were more likely to survive because it enabled for more collaborative and mutually beneficial environments. This need to care what others think about you, it’s biological at its core, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re affected by it. 

The difficult part is we live in a society that has hijacked that part of our brain and created value structures and mechanisms that amplify it, generating a desire for approval that really pulls at you. But let me end by saying this - You don’t need anyone’s permission to do anything in your life. You are independent, you have full agency, and you are at your best when you’re following your heart.

We’re all full of great ideas - The next billion dollar business, a new habit or routine we want to incorporate that we know will serve us, or a clever way to make an introduction or strengthen a relationship. All of those things are important and would add significant value to your life, but there’s one problem... They’re not going to happen on their own. Having an idea is one thing, and turning that idea into reality is entirely different.

A billion dollar business doesn’t start itself, new positive routines don’t materialize out of nowhere, and you don’t grow relationships with people that you don’t speak to. My Uncle put it perfectly, you’re not going to meet the man or woman of your dreams by sitting on your couch. You need to get up and make it happen yourself.

When it comes to taking action I’ve identified 3 steps that maximize your effort and investment. First is “Alignment”. What do you want to achieve, and why? This will help you verify that the ship is pointing the right direction. Second is “Plan”. What is the goal you want to set, how will it be objectively measured, and what action will you take on a frequent basis that will help you make progress toward your goal? Then finally is “Support”. How can you design your environment in a way that encourages action through simplification, clear triggers, accountability, and motivational reminders?

Each of those 3 steps (Alignment, Plan, and Support) are fundamental to your taking the appropriate action. And it’s the action that is the vehicle for change, it’s taking action that makes things happen. Positive change in your life won’t happen on its own, and it’s not supposed to be easy, but it becomes easier when you have the right pieces in place.‍

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

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