I want to share a lesson I was reminded of at the gym last week. I was on the treadmill pacing through a pretty solid pace and I saw a woman on a treadmill in the row in front of me working really hard and practically sprinting on the treadmill. Out of curiosity I wanted to see how fast she was going and I was able to read that she was going the same speed as I was. After watching closer, I saw what she was actually doing was picking up pace for one minute intervals and then resting for a bit at a slower pace.

My ego wanted to make meaning out of this. I started feeling good about myself saying ‘Yea, her fast pace is my baseline. I’m fitter than her’. I’m competitive, so it makes sense that I would do that, but then I thought more about it and realized there were many other things to consider before jumping to conclusions. Sure, I was going faster than her on average, but maybe that means she was pushing herself harder than me. So who’s actually having the better workout? And I had no idea how long she was going to go for compared to me, which certainly dictates the pace. And what about yesterday - What if she worked out hard yesterday and this is more of a recovery day for her?

What I realized in that moment, striding on the treadmill, is there are way too many factors to accurately compare my workout to hers. And more broadly, it made me realize that the majority of the comparisons we make are only based on the handful of facts we see.

The metaphorical and literal lesson in this case is - Go at your own speed. The only fair comparison to make is that with yourself. And when you start competing with yourself you are inspired to raise your personal capacities for the intrinsic value of it rather than the extrinsic pat on the back. I tried to take that to heart, so what I did was instead of comparing myself to her I let her example inspire me, and I picked up my pace to finish the workout with a one minute sprint.

I became more self-aware about this and I’d like the same for you - In what situations do you feel like you compare yourself to others the most?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

I just finished reading the book “Courage Is Calling” by Ryan Holliday and it gave me a lot to think about regarding the ways I relate with fear in my life. I think we all admire the person that is courageous and we hope to have more of that in us, but it’s unnatural to do. That’s because being courageous is literally taking action through fear.

Holliday makes an important distinction between being afraid and having fear. Fear is a totally normal response all humans have when things are unfamiliar, uncertain, and threatening… Being afraid is letting that fear limit you. He argues that being afraid is unacceptable, and that the great innovators and leaders of the world manage to conquer fear courageously and not let being afraid get the best of them. But he also says, if you must let fear take ahold of you, and cause you to be afraid, then fear the following - and I quote from the book:  

“Fear what you’ll miss. Fear what happens if you don’t act. Fear what they’ll think of you down the road for having dared so little. Think of what you’re leaving on the table. Think of the terrifying costs of playing small. The fear you feel is a sign. If courage is never required in your life, you’re living a boring life. Put yourself in a position that demands you leap.”

Ultimately, fear is a great motivator and you can harness it to push you in the ways you know are best for you. Fear exists at every stage of your personal transformation and growth journey because you are becoming something unfamiliar and uncertain. That fear can keep people from pursuing their development in the first place, but when you meet that fear with courage you open up new frontiers. That’s what I want for you - To leave your comfort zone. To explore the boundary of what you know and believe. And to find more ways to let your unlimited self express itself into the world. 

Let’s bring this lesson into your life right now. Ask yourself this question - What do you wish you had the courage to do?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Something I love doing is dissecting song lyrics to pull out the true meaning embedded in the words. I’m taking inspiration from Bob Marley, an iconic voice for peace in the world. One of the most famous lines he ever wrote comes from a song called “3 Little Birds” - “Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing gonna be alright.”

What Marley knew that we don’t is the power of faith. Every day we encounter obstacles, challenges, struggles, opposition, you name it. But Marley saw the bigger picture. Through suffering, death, and despair, he knew that at the end of the day it was all going to be okay. “Every little thing gonna be alright.” And if that’s always the end result then it’s wasted energy to worry about anything because you’re doing so unnecessarily.

But diving deeper into his word choice, even more lessons are illuminated. He says “every little thing”. This is a commentary on what takes away the peace of the average person. There are a lot of issues in the world, but the far majority of us listening to this are safe and relatively taken care of. What takes away our personal peace are the little inconveniences of the day - Your car breaks down, you misplace your wallet, you make some silly mistake. Every little thing like that that adds stress to your life is gonna be alright. When it’s all said and done, you’ll get through it all. Every single one. You will be okay. And again if that's what happens, it’s not worth worrying about. Don’t let the little things consume you.

Little things will go wrong and likely they’ll go wrong every day, that’s just how this imperfect world works. Our perception of these imperfections is what makes all the difference and creates our personal reality. So with full faith and a fresh perspective, sing it with me - Every little thing gonna be alright. And to make this true for you I’d like you to reflect on this question - What things do you worry about more than you should?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Something that is core to personal development is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Self-actualization, or becoming one’s fullest potential, sits at the top of the pyramid. When everything else is taken care of, that final need that motivates your behavior is the desire for self-mastery. The evidence for this need being met is that you perceive meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in your life.

I believe that self-actualization is all about increasing your personal capacities. Becoming a better, more well-rounded, more aligned human being. But what is it all for? In my opinion it’s to give it all away. To share it with others so that you can contribute to the well-being of others and betterment of the world. Time and again you hear the wealthiest people in the world say that ultimately, making a difference is what makes them the happiest.

Your personal fulfillment is rooted in serving others and you don’t need to wait until you’re older and wealthier to start. You can do more today to help others, and I promise that you’ll feel a level of fulfillment you haven’t been able to access before.

Let me add a complementary opinion to this. Tom Bilyeu, a personal development and business luminary has his own definition. He says that fulfillment is “working hard at something to achieve a positive result.” It’s not fulfilling if something is handed to you, you need to go through the challenges, obstacles, and setbacks to give meaning to the journey. And that’s exactly why self-actualization is such a potent way of pursuing fulfillment. It’s a day in, day out process that makes you earn your growth and your capabilities to serve. Pair that with hard work and now you have this incredible concoction that marries intrinsic growth with applying your skills and talents to serve others. In my mind there’s nothing better or worthwhile.

But that’s me, let’s figure out what it means for you - What is the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever done in your life?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

You’ve probably heard this line in an action movie before. Someone is walking a tightrope, or hanging off the wing of an airplane, or crossing a rickety bridge, and then you hear someone say “Don’t look down.” Well of course, the normal human reaction is to do exactly that - to look down. Why is that?

It's almost impossible to not look down, and that’s because of our negativity bias and threat detection systems. Our brains are looking for information in our environments that might be evidence of harm. When you hear the suggestion to not look down, your reptile brain takes over and creates a strong urge to look down and determine the nature of the threat. This happens all the time in life - We rubberneck when we encounter a car accident, we eavesdrop when we overhear an argument… Our brains are designed to prioritize negative information like this. That’s why we look down.

The challenge then becomes, what do we do about it? Well, instead of looking down, look forward. When you’re walking the metaphorical tightrope you are more likely to fall if you are consumed by what’s under you instead of what’s in front of you. If you direct your attention toward the end goal you find the path to get there. It’s a matter of what you’re attracting into your life and there are two options. You can look down, fall, and get what you were trying to avoid, or you could look forward, persevere, and get what you want. You look past the roadblocks, obstacles, failure points, and immediate challenges and instead pay attention to the opportunities, possibilities, and lessons in front of you.

Simply put - When someone tells you not to look down, they’re right. And the more you let the danger below take up your headspace, the more it will affect you and restrict you from performing how you want to. I know this is kind of an abstract concept but let’s make it more tangible right now - What negative things in your life are you paying more attention to than you should?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Just like you I am always experimenting and trying new things on my own personal development journey. For example, I recently learned of a 30 day exercise created by Alex Banayan, the author of The Third Door. If you feel stuck in life, and you don’t know what your next steps are, or that you’ve been stagnant where you’re at for too long, then this challenge is for you. Will you join me?

Banayan calls it the 30 day purpose challenge and this is how it goes. Every day for 30 days straight, no exceptions and no missing a single day, you take 15 minutes to reflect on 3 questions. Those 3 questions are: What filled me with enthusiasm today? What drained me of energy today? What did I learn about myself today?

Again, every day for 30 days, you write down with a pen and paper your answer to those 3 questions. If you only have one sentence to write about each, fine, but you must sit there for the full 15 minutes. This is meant to be a free-flowing, unstructured stream of consciousness as you reflect.

The goal is to reflect without judgment, just share how things are, and don’t look back at any of your entries for 29 days. Then on the 30th day, you read through all of your responses and find the trends in your answers. At that point you answer 3 similar questions - What filled me with enthusiasm this month? What drained me of energy this month? And what did I learn about myself this month? The caveat here is you don’t answer in long form. You write one punchy headline for each of the 3 questions. That becomes your north star and a strong indicator for your life as it is right now, what you want to do more of, what you should do less of, and it presents it in a way where it can’t be ignored.

Again, if you want to get to the truth of how things are for you right now, and get a few ideas about where you want to go next, this challenge will be really good for you. That’s why I’m doing it!

I’m fired up and I want you to be fired up too! I mean think about it, we can go out and pursue whatever we want in life. It’s our choice to do so. But that’s exactly it, you can’t get what you don’t go after, and you really need to want it. You’ve got to get hungry.

‘Getting hungry’ is synonymous with getting motivated because it references how certain things have the ability to take over and consume you. Just like a lion in the savannah, when it gets hungry it has one objective. Eat! When it comes to your goals, aspirations, and dreams, imagine if you had that same amount of focus and desire. It would unlock a whole new level of commitment to what you want.

You’ve probably felt something like it before. You’ve gotten a taste of your potential and the impact you can make in the world, and you want more of it. You can’t fake that hunger, that feeling that genuinely and uncontrollably excites you. So if you want to live a charged up life, where you have a clear sense of purpose, you need to get clear on what you want and what interests you. Lasting intrinsic motivation can only be found in the things that you truly believe in. You’ve got a lion inside of you and it’d be a shame if shame if you never let it roar.

I’m not suggesting you uproot your life to live out your passions, it’s not as simple as that, but I am hoping you’ll ask yourself the question - What lights you up the most in the world and how can you get more of it?

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.

Mahatma Gandhi is one of the most inspirational humans to ever walk this planet. As an incredible peacemaker and inspiring activist, who experienced unfathomable injustice in his life, we have a lot to learn from his lived experience. 

One of the many lessons is featured in the following quote - “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

What Gandhi does so effectively in this thought is he separates out the 3 different ways of representing the self - What you think, what you say, and what you do. And he argues that happiness is having congruence  among those 3 selves.

What you think is your ultimate truth. You cannot hide from yourself in your own mind. And while your brain may attempt to protect you and change the things you think, it does so in a way that it becomes your truth. What you think cannot be shared with others, it is yours and yours alone, and it’s something you must always live with.

The thoughts you do choose to share come in the form of what you say. Now this isn’t a direct translation of your thoughts, it is a filtered version that is designed to be received by others. It can be truth, it also can not, and in that way it introduces variability.

Then there’s what you do. This is your actions speaking for you. Actions are louder than words, and the things you do are the way you interface with the world around you. It goes one layer deeper in that you’re putting your thoughts and words to action, which suggests a certain level of belief you have in their truth.

Now let’s bring back the quote - “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

When all three of these selves are in harmony, without contradictions or exceptions, that’s when you experience happiness. And to me the word that captures the essence of that is integrity. When what you do and what you say are in integrity with what you think, you’re living an aligned life. Reflect on this idea, and how closely aligned your actions, words, and thoughts are.

If you’re in the US or Canada, text me at 949-799-0788 and I’ll send you daily prompts that help you get to know yourself better and build a more meaningful life every day. 

If you’re looking to grow alongside a community of like-minded improvers, then click here to join the Better Together Community.