When Chaos Is Constant

Some of us simply have a more chaotic existence than others. 

Perhaps it’s because of a work environment that is unpredictable, fast-paced, and reactive in nature… It’s hard to organize in those conditions. 

Perhaps it’s because of a living situation where a roommate is messy and volatile, or your household is full of a handful of beautiful kids who are a whirlwind of after school activities and commitments…

The honest truth of it is, that chaos isn’t permanent. All of it is a choice. Having said that, it could genuinely be the right choice. You could have a good reason to stay in that job, the timing isn’t right to change, or the good outweighs the bad in how it provides for you. And with your kids, it’s not like you want to get rid of them or deny them a full childhood with varied experiences…

In those cases, chaos is a chosen constant. It’s a condition you’re choosing to accept as your reality because changing things are actually undesirable overall.

If that’s the case, then the question becomes - How do you manage chaos? 

Here are a few perspectives that come to mind:

The first one I just shared: Accept that it’s a choice you made. Invite the perspective that given the big picture, it’s actually your preference. In its own way, this lightens the sense of frustration, inconvenience, and urgency you feel because you’ve decided that’s how you want it to be.

A second perspective is to design flexibility. Rather than trying to make a perfect plan that’s set up for failure, build in some tolerance. When you allocate uncommitted time in your day to manage whatever might come up, then when it comes you’re not put behind. You’ve accounted for it. 

For example in a fast-paced work environment, you can still plan your day so that it incorporates your most important projects. Quantify how long that will take, protect it in your calendar, but also quantify how long it takes to address the requests that come up that you could not plan for. You can commit to less, so you need to be more discerning about what you take on, but it also makes you more accommodating.

And the last perspective I’ll share is to just stay in the game. To further the sports analogy, it’s to keep a “next play mentality”. You can’t change the past, but you can influence the future. So when things start to go awry, try not to get all caught up in how far off track you are… But get thoughtful about your response. Think through how plans need to be updated so that you redefine what ‘on track’ is.

My way of practicing this is literally updating my schedule throughout the day. If something takes longer than expected, I reshuffle my commitments. If something new comes up that I genuinely want to do, I add it to my schedule and choose what gets pushed out.

By being in the practice of accepting, designing for, and updating your expectations to accommodate chaos, you’ll find that its anxiety-provoking nature doesn’t sting quite the same.

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