Mudita

A good friend of mine named Doug has a tattoo on his forearm that has the word “Mudita”. It’s Sanskrit, and Doug defines it as "vicarious joy, referring to the practice of feeling unselfish joy in the good fortune, success, and happiness of others”. What a beautiful concept!

Humanity’s natural inclination is to do the opposite - to view others through the lens of competition and scarcity where their success threatens your own. I believe this is a product of evolution where our minds had to be hypervigilant to secure resources and determine our status within the tribe to keep ourselves alive. This bias lives on in our modern day psychology, born from our ego, and defaults us to compare ourselves with others in a way that produces more psychologically safety.

It’s an unconscious need but of course, consciously we want to be happy for others and their thriving. We know that there’s more than enough to go around yet in the back of our minds we still find ourselves seeking to criticize, judge, and discredit others - especially when their success relates to something we’re insecure about.

That’s why “Mudita” is a practice. It’s something we need to constantly remind ourselves of so that we can show up in the world as the cheerleader, supporter, advocate, and friend we want to be. So that we have reason to feel positively about others’ achievements and carry the perspective that their wins are good for the world.

My friend, Doug, lives this. He’s got his set of life challenges that he’s navigating and has every reason to complain about it. It might make him feel better about himself, or more justified in his struggle, if he credited other people’s success to their privilege or circumstance or that it came as a lucky break. But he consciously chooses the opposite. He helps people succeed. He views their wins as his wins. You’re not going to meet a person who more genuinely wants the best for others. 

My challenge to you is: How do you incorporate more “mudita” in your life? In what area of your work or personal life can you find vicarious joy in someone else’s success? The next time someone tells you something good, try making it a big deal. Let them know just how important, impactful and impressive it is! See how it makes them feel, and how it makes you feel.

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