My Issue With Non-Negotiables

I’m a huge advocate for holding yourself to a high standard, setting boundaries, and not letting yourself make excuses. As someone who has put out daily content for 7.5 years, I know the value of being consistent, disciplined, and executing even and especially when it isn’t easy.

For someone with that level of conviction and track-record, many would say that putting out a new podcast episode is a ‘non-negotiable’ for me. But I have an issue with the idea of having ‘non-negotiables’. While I think the intention is good to have really high standards, I think the message behind it; is harmful.

What does it mean for something to be ‘non-negotiable’? It means that you’re unwilling to negotiate about it. Or in other words, it means that there is nothing that could change your mind about the decision you’ve made.

And I find that really hard to believe…

If you have a ‘non-negotiable’ routine to go for a run every morning, is there really no scenario where the decision that most serves you is to skip it? What if you broke your leg? Or for me, is there no scenario where it would be acceptable to miss sharing a podcast episode? While it hasn’t happened yet, I’m sure there is one.

Being fully committed to doing something, in every single context imaginable, is an impossible commitment to make. And that’s why I think it’s a dangerous intention to set. 

The reason it’s attractive is because it sets the precedent that you will do what you say you’re going to do, and every time you follow through on it, you strengthen that mindset. In a very distracted world and with an evolutionary past that hardwires us to be lazy and make excuses, I certainly see the value in that.

But what it does behind the scenes is: it gets you in the habit of doing things because you said you were going to do it and not because it’s what most serves you. Today’s world is full of nuance, and it’s important we’re set up for success within those conditions.

In summary - I love the sentiment. It benefits us immensely to be more disciplined and resilient when life starts to go off track. The 75 Hard Challenge reminds us of how much control we have over our choices, and many excuses we want to make but shouldn’t. The world needs more of that... But taking it to the far extreme of saying that something is ‘non-negotiable’, and that you’re unwilling to reconsider a commitment you’ve made no matter the circumstance, in my opinion is short-sighted and irresponsible. 

So the way that I navigate this is - I try to have a really high-threshold for changing your mind. I seek to preplan my exceptions so that I know they’re in integrity, and not just an emotional response in a moment. I reflect on my intentions and commitments every day so I can be aware of ways that I might have compromised my commitments, and think through the things that might be getting in the way. 

I set a daily high standard that takes into account the context of the day, and do my very best to execute that with resilience and discipline. If you want to see my process for that, check it out here!.

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