The Two Ingredients To Anxiety

Something that many people deal with on a daily basis is anxiety. Whether it’s a diagnosed condition or a short-term response to a life event, anxiety can consume your thoughts and destroy your peace.

I don’t mean to oversimplify what is a very complicated thing… But just about every time someone has an anxious episode it’s preceded by these two things: A lack of control and a lot of uncertainty.

First, human nature very much desires control. If we are not responsible for what happens around us or to us, our mind goes on high alert ready to react to the unexpected. When we don’t have agency and freewill in a situation, we’re left at the mercy of whatever unfolds. As you can imagine, being unable to impact or offset a potentially dangerous situation is likely to make someone anxious. 

Second, human nature very much desires certainty. We want to know what’s going to happen so that we can prepare ourselves for it. This explains why people willingly stay in painful circumstances - at least they know what they’re going to get. It’s the unknown that gives the mind space to ruminate on all of the possibilities. 

Put those two things together - your inability to do anything about something with an unpredictable outcome  - can create an overstimulated thought spiral, especially when that thing might lead to negative consequences. 

If you break down anything that impacts you negatively it always involves your feelings of personal safety and security. So if you ladder it back up and feel like your safety is out of control and uncertain aka not guaranteed, it’s going to be a cause for worry. 

For example: You have a big presentation for work tomorrow. You become anxious about it when you need to present slides a colleague was supposed to prepare (lack of control) and you heard that the organization might have layoffs (uncertainty). Or a family member has a medical condition that doesn’t have a known cure (lack of control) and you’re waiting on test results (uncertainty).

It’s easier said than done but if you’re feeling anxious, the first thing you need to do is regulate your nervous system. Calm down hyperdrive so that you can think rationally and not emotionally. From that space you can see the situation for what it is, what you can or can’t do about it, and make peace with the choices or options you have. 

When you accept what’s out of your control and reason that you’ve done all you can do (or are prepared to do) to shape the outcome, you can see that the anxious thoughts don’t serve a purpose. That they’re worry and not productive, and it helps you restore your peace. 

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