Be, Do, Have
When it comes to living our dream lives, we often default to all the things that we have. It’s the big house, the fulfilling and impactful job, the loving family, travel, impact... And that’s all great, it’s perfectly fine to want all of that stuff. But if that’s the object of your effort then you’re going to be making things harder than they need to be.
So let’s broaden the lens and look at the 3 different layers that our existence resides in - Be, do, have - And we often have the order backwards when it comes to the chain of command within these layers.
We expect that when we have the things we want it’ll give us the freedom we need to do the things we want to do. Then once we’re taking action in the ways that inspire us, we believe that it will make us feel the fulfillment, satisfaction, and inner peace that we desire.
And it makes sense. We can much more easily perceive tangible things to have rather than the implicit actions we’re taking (or even harder being self-aware of our state of being). So the things we want to have is what we pursue.
But I’ve learned that’s not actually how it works. A state of being is not the byproduct of what you have and what you do, it’s the origin. If you can focus on showing up present in every moment embodying love, you will have a loving family. If you embrace and entertain your adventurous spirit, you’ll find yourself halfway across the world on an exotic trip.
The natural byproduct of the energy you put out influences the actions you take. Subconscious transformation expert Jim Fortin puts it “What you do is only as effective as the being doing the doing”. This ‘doing’ then dictates the results you achieve, and the things you get.
This is where we need to slow down and be more potent with our approach. When you picture your dream life, have you considered your state of being? Have you defined the virtues and characteristic traits that you hope to embody rather than the achievements or possessions you’ve accumulated?
I can only speak for myself and say that I’ve had it backwards myself. But the more I challenge myself to tap into the energy of who I want to be, the more I find myself accelerating on my path toward it, picking up everything else along the way.