Balancing Positivity And Emotional Processing

Something that has served me really well is having a positive outlook on life. The way anyone perceives anything is based on their perspective. Two people can take the exact same life event and interpret it in completely different ways. 

I believe that the person who creates a positive story out of difficult life events lives a higher quality life, which is why I’ve been so intentional about cultivating a positive mindset.

However, recently I’ve been thinking about the cost of that. I’ve noticed that I’m so quick to reframe things positively that I don’t allow myself to feel everything I’m experiencing. 

For example I’m pushing hard in a campaign right now and got flat out rejected. In the moment, it stung. It was embarrassing, especially since I had made such a big effort to fly across the country to meet someone in person for the first time, and she acted like she didn’t know who I was.

But right away my mindset went to work. I found reasons to be grateful, pride in the audacity to make an attempt like that, and resolved in getting back to work. It definitely served me in certain ways to be able to work through everything so quickly, but at the same time I never gave myself the space to process it.

I didn’t allow myself to feel the disappointment of not making good on an opportunity I created. I didn’t grieve the loss of a good idea that I was excited about. I never sat with the pain and suppressed it. I never gave myself the chance to express how I actually felt.

As I sit here reflecting on this, knowing what happened, I’m torn. On one hand I love that I can default to positivity and gratitude, but on the other hand I know there are consequences to not letting myself feel, many of which I’m not even aware of.  And my fear is that I’m not fully integrating experiences and stunting my growth and learning because of it. 

And as far as I know, this is what I want to start doing about it. Before I reframe the scenario, my intention is to pause and sit in it. Not for too long, just 30-60 seconds to feel what’s present. Then I’ll reframe it so that I can get back into action.

I’m probably not alone in this, wanted to share what’s on my mind with the hope that it helps you figure out what’s in yours.

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