A Closed Mouth Doesn't Get Fed

As simple as it is, one of the main reasons that we don’t get what we want is because we don’t even ask for it. It’s almost as if we hope people will read our minds and offer us exactly what we want and need. When they don’t, we wonder why life keeps happening to us and things aren’t working out. 

The fastest way to get what you want is to ask for it. You want the business? Ask for it. You want to adjust to plans that make more sense for you? Tell people about it. Things are exponentially more likely to happen, and the probability shifts radically in your favor, when you give voice to what you want.

Years ago I heard an expression that lives with me to this day: A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. And it’s true - you can’t expect things to happen unless you do your part in making them happen.

I’m a recovering people-pleaser and a few years ago I went on a trip with some friends to Costa Rica. I was happy enough to be there and just went with the flow. A friend wanted to go scuba diving so we went. A friend wanted to do beach yoga so we did it. As we woke up the morning of the last day, I realized that I didn’t get to do the only thing that I wanted to do: Play in a Costa Rican waterfall.

I was afraid to offer that as a suggestion because I didn’t want to step on anyone else’s plans, or keep them from doing what they wanted to do on their trip. But then I decided that my interests were just as important, and worth designing around as anyone else’s.

So I opened my mouth and I told people what I wanted to do. Most of the group had other plans and declined, but my best buddy was all about it. And he one upped me adding that he wanted to go surfing one more time too. 

It was a deal. He and I left the group for the day, paid a taxi to shuttle us around to surfing, then 2 hours out to a waterfall, and back to where we were staying. It was the best and most memorable day of the trip, all because I got to do what I wanted to do.

And all that happened because I said something about it. So for whatever it is that you want, just let people know about it and see what happens. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed!

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