The Lead Singer That Made It All About Himself

I was at a concert listening to a band I didn’t know much about and caught myself getting distracted by the lead singer. But if I’m being honest it wasn’t just distracting, he was irritating me. 

His call outs to the audience asking “How we doing tonight?” and his light banter between songs seemed overdone…

He was giving instructions to the stage team the entire time to give his two cents on the sound balance…

He’d wave to the band when he wanted an extended silence, but did it in an authoritative way…

It seemed like he really loved, almost too much, the opportunity to go for big and uncalled for vocal solos mid-song…

I could keep going but I don’t want to because even when I was experiencing it, I was aware of the real possibility that I was just projecting. Just the way I’m describing it reveals the judgment I was holding. I don’t know why he was making me feel that way and I was doing my best to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve been around people and studied psychology enough to know that the way I was receiving his behavior has everything to do with me and nothing to do with him. But even so, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was noticing all of these little details, and it was irking me.

When the set wrapped up, trying to be as self-aware as possible, I couldn’t contain it. I tapped my friend next to me and said “I don’t know if I’m just projecting but this lead singer seems like he’s really into himself.” Just saying it out loud confirmed in my mind that’s exactly what’s going on.

To my surprise, my friend immediately responded “Oh totally, it’s bad!” 

It felt validating to hear but I’m still figuring out what it all means. Even though this case may be an exception, I’m aware of my tendency to project. I don’t like that I do that. But at the same time, I’m proud of how I questioned my feelings and demonstrated self-awareness.

I guess this story paints the reminder that we shouldn’t believe every thought that we think.

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