She Had Bad Breath And I Didn’t Tell Her

I’m telling you my personal development shows up in the weirdest places… But I guess that makes sense because it’s integrated into everything we do.

Last week I was flying into Colorado for an event, I had a middle seat, and after settling in I noticed a foul smell. It passed, I continued working on my laptop, and then a few minutes later I smelled it again.

I realized that I noticed the smell after the woman sitting next to me, sighed in her sleep. It was her bad breath.

It caught me in a slightly moral dilemma. I imagine she’d want to know she had bad breath and could do something about it… In that way it would be a favor to her. 

But it’s equally possible that hearing that from a stranger would be embarrassing, especially if she had a medical condition where it was out of her control.

Debating in my head about what the “right thing to do” is, I got honest with myself and noted that even if I decided that telling a stranger about her bad breath is the best thing to do… I was unwilling to do it.

It surfaces something really interesting about human nature. We are unconsciously inclined to want to be liked by others. Being liked is associated with being safe because it means more people would come to help you if you need it.

The implications of saying something that might make someone not like me, even if it’s a stranger I’ll never see again, were overpowering. So much so that it paralyzed me from taking action.

What I experienced on the plane is similar to the social pressures we face on a daily basis. Whether it’s doing what meets other’s expectations, going along with the crowd, or doing what’s more socially acceptable… Our behavior is influenced by this invisible force.

The good thing is, the more aware of it you are, the less power it holds over you.

‍