Self-Sabotage Is Self Protection

In studying many different theories of self-sabotage and developing some of my own, there’s one important detail that I think keeps getting left out...

When you directly translate the words, the idea of 'self-sabotage' is undeniably negative. How unfortunate is it that we find ways to ‘sabotage’ our own success and happiness… How limiting is it that something inside of us is actively fighting against doing what’s in our best interest… How discouraging is it to think that we are our own enemy…

Self-sabotage has gotten a bad reputation, and rightfully so. But if we were to rephrase it so that it represents its real intention rather than just look at the outcome, we’d become more sympathetic to it.

And this is the reframe: Self-sabotage is self-protection.

Your unconscious mind doesn't want to see you fail. All parts of you want you to be happy, thriving, and making the most out of life. It’s unreasonable to think that your mind is actively trying to make your life harder, and is unconsciously preventing you from getting what you consciously want.

What’s not being translated is that self-sabotage happens with good intentions. The resistance to change, bold action taking, and following through that we know to be ‘self-sabotage’ is actually being done in your best interest.

Your unconscious mind is designed to keep you safe and alive. It registers all new things as a threat and therefore, with good intentions, tries to prevent them from happening. Self-sabotage is actually protecting you from doing what it believes will harm you.

The reason we don’t appreciate this is because it conflicts with what you consciously want. You want to grow your business, you want the healthy lifestyle, you want the incredible relationship, you want to make an impact… And this force that makes it harder to achieve all of those things is viewed as opposition.

That’s not to say that we let it win. Self-sabotage is real and the single greatest limiting factor in our lives. But it means well, and if we can learn to appreciate it, accept it, choose to overcome it, and be patient with ourselves when it slows us down, we unlock our ability to actually make faster progress toward our goals.