Self Okayness

I was listening to a podcast episode featuring Jem Fuller, a purpose-driven leader with a huge mission to help people do things not more efficiently or productively, but lovingly. It’s such a good intention and important message. In the podcast episode he also shared about a concept that struck me: Self okayness.

“Self okayness” sounds like settling. We’ve come to associate the word “okay” with below average. In a world where everything is hyperbolized, the idea of things being “okay” is known as things aren’t good. It’s fallen into a similar trap as the word enough. In many cases the idea of something being “enough” is interpreted as it being at a level that’s tolerable but not fully desirable. It’s good enough. But an alternative meaning for enough is that it’s fully sufficient for its purposes and satisfactory. 

Let’s assign that line of thought to the idea of “okay”. It doesn’t need to be substandard, it can mean that things are absent of issues and problems. If you are to look at what’s missing you see that there’s a lot on the side of how things could be worse. Like a glass half-full approach, “okay” can genuinely mean that things are okay.

Especially for our modern minds that are overstimulated and working on hyperdrive, it gives us peace to know that things are okay. That everything is going to be alright. It’s massively healing to accept that as your reality. My friend Maret led a meditation once where she posed the question… “What would it feel like if everything that you’re worried about worked out?” I didn’t realize the soft and constant anxiety I was feeling until those words hit me, and released me from it.

Self okayness is the same thing. Sure there are opportunities for self-growth… And more things you want to do… And ways you want to contribute… But self-okayness allows you to recognize that you are safe and provided for. When we can make that a more major part of our pursuit, and not judge ourselves for the gap but be grateful for the present, life becomes more peaceful.

Maybe the reason this resonates so much for me right now is because I’m in a season of choosing peace. And as Bob Marley puts it, believing that “every little thing is gonna be alright” is becoming a huge source of joy for me. 

‍