Release What’s Not Working

When it comes to generating more positive results in our lives, let’s not overcomplicate it. It really comes from these two things: Doing more of what works and doing less of what doesn’t. 

Speaking more on the latter, it can be hard to release what’s not working. There’s a constant internal tension between our conscious desires and our unconscious need to keep things the same. New results makes life uncertain and less psychologically safe, and it’s this force to maintain our safety that makes it so hard to let go of what isn’t serving us.

So rather than releasing, we hold on to what’s familiar and predictable. We prefer the “devil we know to the devil we don’t” because it’s more certain, and we can mentally prepare for it. 

The particularly challenging part is, our mind will actually start to rationalize why things are okay the way they are. And if we don’t think to question it, we’ll believe it. Rationalization is a form of self-sabotage and a way the unconscious mind actively works to prevent change. 

It ties into a psychological principle Robert Cialdini talks about called ‘commitment and consistency’. Essentially we all have a bias to make choices that align with previous choices even when it no longer makes sense. It causes us to rationalize situations favorably rather than see them objectively. 

But when you can successfully release what’s not working, you start angling in a more desirable direction. Easier said than done, but here’s an example of how I did it:

For years I held onto entitlement. That it was unfair to not get the result I wanted if I felt like I did everything I should to achieve it. This kept me in an underperforming cycle of working hard doing the wrong things, and it was frustrating. It stayed that way until I released my entitlement in a ceremony where I literally burned it at the top of a mountain, and once I did it freed me up to be less emotionally invested in my results, receive feedback better, and ultimately do more of what works and less of what doesn’t.

Applying this to your life, I want you to ask yourself this question: What have you been holding onto for too long, that hasn’t been working, that it’s probably time to release? The first step, as always, is awareness.