Putting Your Own Oxygen Mask On First

When it comes to self-care, one of the classic metaphors people share is “putting your own oxygen mask on before assisting anyone else with theirs.” This is said at the beginning of every flight, instructing people that if they want to maximize their ability to help other people in an emergency that their best way of doing that is to make sure they are personally taken care of first.

It carries an important and true message. Especially in frantic and uncertain times, our natural inclination is to deprioritize ourselves. Busy work schedules push out sleep and exercise. Running from one family event to another forces you to grab something fast on the go. That morning routine is time that could be spent preparing a kids lunch, cleaning up the house, or doing something else more productive. Yet our ability to deliver on all of those things is limited by our personal capacity. To use another metaphor, “you need to fill your cup up before you can pour into anyone else’s.”

Back to the oxygen mask I don’t know that I’ve met anyone that has ever needed to actually use it. Hundreds of thousands of flights and not once has the instruction been used. Yet every time, without fail, they continue to repeat it.

It’s an example of an If-Then Statement. When presented with certain conditions, you can prepare your response in advance so that you can manage it. If the cabin air pressure were to change, that would be a very serious thing and highly dangerous if someone didn’t have a game plan. That’s why flight attendants drill it into our minds, so that in the rare case it does happen, we know what to do.

If-Then Statements are really helpful as a behavioral principle. Life doesn't go according to plan and when that happens, there are two ways to reconcile it: Either we try and figure out what to do in a chaotic moment, or we’ve thought out in advance what we want to do and execute it. 

It’s like deciding that if you’re traveling and don't have access to the gym, then you’ll do a Youtube workout. Or if you get a phone call during the work day from a loved one, then you’ll answer to make sure it’s not an emergency but tell them you don’t have time to talk. 

The more you have thought-out contingency plans in place, the more you’ll be able to steer your behavior in ways that take you closer to your goals, fulfill your values, and feel good about. 

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