Permission To Be In Progress

One of the curses of personal development is that it's very outcome-oriented. On one hand, we know that it’s “about the journey, not the destination” and that we shouldn’t be overly attached to what happens… But at the same time, we recognize that we can figure out what’s working by looking at the fruits of our labor. 

Even though we know self-improvement is a dynamic and never-ending process, we still have a tendency to feel like we’re falling behind where we’re supposed to be. As Ben Hardy says, we’re quick to see the ‘Gap’ over the ‘Gain’, and it can be deflating to feel like your hard work isn’t getting you where you want to go.

To anyone who is frustrated because they feel like they don’t have it figured out, let me give you the permission I needed to give myself: It’s okay to be in progress. Not only that, it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. 

Here’s a powerful perspective I heard from James Clear: Think about the different phases of an acorn. When it’s just a seed, that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be. And then once it takes root and sprouts, it becomes a sapling. The sapling hasn’t done anything wrong that’s causing it to not be a tree, it’s still exactly what it’s supposed to be. Then with time, the sapling continues to grow into a big oak and into its fullest potential.

At no point was the seed or the sapling behind where it could have been, that’s just the way it works. And similarly with our personal development the bigger, healthier, more impactful lives we envision for ourselves, we need to give ourselves permission that we don’t have it yet. We are just a seed that has sprouted and is continuing to grow. 

Now here’s a point to elaborate on, that I think is an important detail: We need to put ourselves in the right environment for growth. 

We are a seed with all of the potential in the world, but if we’re not planted in fertile soil we have no chance to become all that we’re destined to be. So while it’s important to trust the process and allow the inevitable to happen, we also must be proactive about ensuring that the conditions we’re operating within are conducive to the growth we want to experience. 

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