It's Good To Feel Guilty
When it comes to feeling guilt, we usually relate to it in a negative way and hold a negative perspective toward it. I want you to challenge that, specifically by way of this reframe I learned from Brendon Burchard.
First, what is guilt? And I don’t mean guilt in the court of law, I mean the emotion of feeling guilty. Guilt is a negative reflection of how something went, something that didn’t go according to plan, where you feel partially at fault for some unintended negative consequences. At first glance this seems like an entirely bad thing because something bad happened, but if you go a layer deeper and think about what that guilt actually represents you’ll quickly realize a silver-lining.
When you feel guilty you acknowledge that you were responsible for the way things went. You are internalizing what it was about your actions, choices, and behaviors that could have been different. What this means is you recognize that you didn’t meet the standards you set for yourself, and your feeling guilty is a reminder that you are capable of doing better.
Guilt is an emotion that brings our awareness to the fact that something was off between what we did and who we want to be. That’s a huge deal! If you’re not guilty or remorseful for something, then you have no desire to change how things went. So when you feel guilty, even when things didn’t go according to plan, at least you can know that you expect better from yourself moving forward.
And that’s what I want guilt to mean for you. Sure, the end-result may have been less than desired, that’s life, but how do you handle those moments and use that to make a better future?