Be Full Of Yourself

A character trait that is widely looked down upon is arrogance. Someone who's arrogant is someone who thinks they’re better than they are, who doesn’t respect or honor the process of becoming and has an inflated sense of self that biases their worldview.

A common expression people use to describe someone like that is to say that they’re “full of themselves”. But looking at that quote directly, I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to be 'full of yourself'. It’s just a matter that you’re filling yourself with the right things.

For example, it’s good to be full of confidence. Someone who believes in themself and their abilities makes bigger waves in the world and plays a bigger game. The problem is when over-confidence becomes a lack of humility, and you overestimate yourself and underestimate the challenge ahead.

It’s good to be full of character and authenticity. If you’re not full of what’s genuinely yours and instead you’re full of what someone else wants for you - that’s a recipe for disappointment. As Bronnie Ware discovered, the #1 regret of the dying is that people on their deathbed “wish they would have lived a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them.” 

Brian Johnson, founder of Heroic says “You’re the hero the world has been waiting for… And Oscar Wilde says “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

In truth, it’s a tricky balance to find: You’re supposed to be unapologetically yourself, but not so much that it’s over the top and cause for concern. How does one manage that?

My understanding is that you want to maintain equal parts of confidence and humility. Equal parts ambition and receptiveness. As you become more confident and fill yourself up, also become more humble and open-minded. As you get louder about who you are and what you can do in the world, get louder about asking for help and seeking perspective. It helps to maintain the tension.

It's a worthwhile problem to solve because the world needs you on fire! So be full of yourself in all of the best ways, while increasing your checks and balances so that your boisterous confidence is also grounded in reality.