Is The Ego The Enemy?

Something that has gotten a bad reputation is the ego. We’ve made the ego out to be responsible for our selfish, greedy, arrogant, defensive, and vain nature. And it is. The ego works by creating a sense of separation and independence from others. It is woven into evolutionary biology because beings that don’t have a sense of self will have no motivation to look out for themselves. 

But is ego the enemy? I don’t think so. Our ego is designed to protect us, and I have a hard time believing that something that has good intentions and seeks to be in our best interest is inherently evil. 

Stoic philosopher and author Ryan Holiday wrote a book called “The Ego Is The Enemy” and despite the decisive positioning of the title, he agrees. The ego itself isn’t the enemy, it’s the way that it has the tendency to control us in ways that pull us to act out of integrity. The enemy itself is our separation from reality, and an unchecked ego is a driving force behind that.

Here’s what it means to be separated from reality: You get so in your head and act emotionally that you can’t see things objectively and make thoughtful, rational decisions. You perceive the world in a way that is biased and self-serving, not a way that represents what is true. You attribute successes and failures as your own doing and not the delicate dance between your actions and the conditions those actions occur within.

Your ego serves a purpose to keep you safe and surface relevant context for you to consider. But when it’s untamed it’s like a toddler running your life, acting on every impulse and creating a wake of moral destruction. 

Working with the ego is a life-long pursuit, and I’m very much in progress with it, but there are some things I’ve found to be helpful in living with more integrity. One thing is to create space and slow down. The ego is embedded in your unconscious decision making and will surface if you don’t choose consciously. The second is environmental design. When you improve the conditions you're operating within, the inputs and stimuli that come from your environment trigger your ego in a more manageable way. And last, for me, is to pray. I believe God settles my life when I ask Him to, but if that’s not for you then consider it a moment of meditation where you connect to a higher consciousness. 

There’s a version of yourself that exists under the way you feel. It’s your spirit, intuition, and essence. When you are aware of the lens that your ego adds on top of your perception but make decisions from a more grounded place, you’ll find that your decisions more closely map to what you want… And not what your ego is poking you about. 

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