I Didn’t Use My Turn Signal

After wrapping up an evening walk with some friends I got in the car to drive home. The first thing I needed to do was take a hard left off of a narrow two lane beach road, which is a turn I’ve made 100 times. I had to wait for one car to pass before making it so I sat idled in the road waiting.

As I made the turn, I heard the person in the car waiting behind me, shout at me “Turn signal!”. I hadn’t put it on and he was letting me know it.

My gut reaction was to get offended and defensive. Instead of internalizing it as my fault, I deflected to assume something about him. Thoughts like “What a jerk” and “How rude?” flashed across my mind.

But that only happened in maybe the first second. And then I realized, he was right. It was dark and I failed to communicate something to another driver. My actions made the situation more dangerous.

There are a few lessons embedded in this story. First is how the ego naturally reacts to situations unconsciously before we have the chance to consciously reframe. Some people who lack perspective  would stay upset. But when you work on your mindset, you can override how your mind reacts and instead intentionally respond.

The other lesson relates to being open to feedback. When we’re in a defensive state, we justify what happens, don’t accept responsibility, and fail to see what could be improved. We assign blame and neglect to learn from it because it’s not our fault.

As simple of an example as this is, it highlights a vulnerability we all have. But the more aware of it we are, the less control it has over us.

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