One of the foremost philosophies of entrepreneurship is called iterative design. The intent is to slowly make progress and optimize a process through fast trial and error. There are three key phases to iterative design: First is to act. You cannot know how something will actually behave or perform in practice without doing it. In entrepreneurship speed of action is just as important as quality. Then the second phase is learn. Once you’ve seen the results of your action it’s time to get feedback, analyze metrics, and understand the factors that created the result. Then last is iterate. Hypothesize what might be a primary area for improvement, design that into whatever you’re creating, and give it another go.

This cycle of act-learn-iterate isn’t as foreign as you might think. It’s designed into nature as the mechanism of evolution, called survival of the fittest. It’s part of our childhood development when we learn our boundaries and capabilities as a kid. And note that there’s no failure in the process, there are only opportunities to learn. If you keep that in mind as you pursue your own growth, you’ll see the value in your decisions and be more inclined to take action.

You can’t improve until you’ve learned how to make things better. And you can’t learn until you’ve taken the actions to do so. Act, learn, iterate. And do it all over again and again until you’re where you want to be.

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make things exactly how we want them. We have a certain expectation on how we want things to be, which could be clearly defined or just a vague idea, but in either case it’s something that we hold ourselves accountable to chasing. There’s a disconnect between how things are and how they’re “supposed to be”, and that can impose a lot of pressure.

The thought I really want to highlight today is - Your path is already in front of you. You don’t need to force fit or make crazy concessions to walk on it. The difficult part is that we don’t always see the truth in the thought that you’re right where you’re meant to be. It may be nearly impossible to comprehend in the present, but as you’ve seen before (and you’ll see again) it’s only after you’ve walked on the path and you’re looking back where you can make sense of the steps that got you where you are.

That’s the shift you need to make if you really want this to work because you do have a role in this. It’s not that it’s all going to happen on its own, it’s that you need to be open to experiencing the uncertain and unexpected in order to allow everything to unfold as it’s meant to. You must have faith in the situations you encounter, good and bad, and understand that they are there for a reason. Each step is part of the process in manifesting what is meant to be.

So with that in mind… breathe. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. It may not feel like it, but it’s true, and it should feel refreshing to know. But it’s important to carry that mindset into the rest of your life so that what is meant to be for you will be.

I came across a concept the other day and wanted to relate it to personal development. What I’ve come to learn is while things don’t seem like they would be related, things abide by the same rules and laws of nature, and there is more similarity than we might first think.

The idea  is, a plane uses a disproportionate amount of fuel to take off and get to cruising altitude. Of course this makes sense, a plane that is actively trying to propel itself higher against gravity is going to require more energy. If it’s so obvious in this instance, is it reasonable to say it would be true for our lives as well?

Getting yourself to an early morning workout, the hardest part is emotionally committing to it and getting yourself to put your workout clothes on. In sales, the hardest part is getting anyone to pay attention and book a meeting. Like a plane at cruising altitude we greatly benefit from the momentum we generate to get to that point. The challenge becomes overcoming the activation energy required to get to that state, which often is perceived as a whole lot of effort for not enough result. It could also be articulated as “The juice isn’t worth the squeeze”.

But in order to achieve your goals, like a plane headed across the country, you need to invest your resources in the things you know will carry you to your desired destination. Instead of seeing hard work as a reason to not persevere, know that it’s a part of the process, it is an inevitability of the world’s natural laws. It includes a knowing that with the right attitude and belief you will be able to find your own cruising altitude.

We know how important it is to be a lifelong learner, but today I wanted to hone in on the other side of the coin. It’s one thing to seek knowledge and learn, but it’s another thing to be teachable. Being teachable means that you’re receptive to other people and their perspectives, you’re humble in understanding that you don’t know everything, and you’re open-minded enough to consider new ideas and possibilities.

We have a natural tendency to validate the way we think about things. It’s called confirmation bias and it exists to protect ourselves from the discomfort of violating our belief systems. The unfortunate consequence is that confirmation bias encourages us to seek information in a way that simply strengthens what we already know or believe to be true, and the more that happens, the more resistant we are to being receptive to alternatives.

Again, being teachable counteracts this resistance because it allows other people and resources, who have reasoned differently, to leave a real impression. It means that you don’t hold on so tightly to your own beliefs and you’re willing to adjust your own opinions and behaviors because you value the new information. In a world that is a constant feedback loop, we need to be willing to accept that we’re wrong sometimes so that we can re-orient ourselves toward a more aligned direction.

Being teachable involves listening without judgment, considering beliefs that make you uncomfortable, respecting others’ experience and histories that led them to draw certain conclusions, and being receptive to new ideas.  When you're teachable you’ll find that others are more wiling and interested in investing in you if they know that you’re actually going to use their feedback, which will accelerate your personal learning curve.

So be teachable. Pursue your own knowledge and learn on your own accord, but also keep an open mind to all of the possibilities and alternatives around you.

As we get caught up in the productivity culture of life there’s a strong pressure to go and do and be more. But what that often represents are more deeply rooted issues that you are afraid to address. You may avoid these issues by keeping yourself too busy to face off with it, or you try to move past it too quickly by taking immediate and uncalculated action. This was a new concept to me when Brian Rashid elaborated on the topic.

Stillness. Brian recommends that it is through stillness that you can actually listen to yourself, and understand your needs and desires. From there you determine how to move forward but now you’re not doing so in a rushed way because you’ve made time for truth to reveal itself. I absolutely am guilty of putting a band-aid on top of a band-aid, but this affirms the importance of slowing down and letting a more natural and reflective process take its course.

I talk a lot about being the creator of your life, and claiming what’s yours for yourself instead of waiting for it to happen on its own. To provide evidence for how that has worked in my life, I wanted to do something different and feature a snippet from my interview on Ben Bradbury’s podcast called Subject Matter, where I talk a bit about how relationships and being of service have created opportunities in my career and life.

[With reference to building a personal brand] "The fun side is then the creative side. So once you have that relationship, and you have these mentors because you've been able to build your personal brand, to get their attention, what do you do with it? And a great story with that is a cascade of 'Do it for the story' actually. So I met Nir Eyal on the podcast because he had his new book 'Indistractable' about to launch... He has changed my life with his original book 'Hooked' and with 'Indistractable' I was involved in the launch promotion. I brought him on the podcast, had a pre-release copy of the book that I read, was able to feature it, created all of this content and assets for him really to add value, and we ended up being friends on Facebook. It was through Facebook that I learned about who Case Kenny is, the podcaster of 'New Mindset Who Dis?'. What happened is Nir Eyal posted on Facebook about Case Kenny's new journal coming out about personal development. I reached out to Case and said "Hey I want to feature you, anything in particular?' and he said "Oh, awesome really appreciate that go for it!' So then we grabbed a coffee, I told him about what I was up to, was able to build a relationship with him and show my value, show what I had to offer. Just 4 months later Case Kenny and I became co-founders of For Purpose. That is a true story of how my personal brand and the relationships that I cultivated by leading with being of service ended up creating this opportunity to build a relationship with someone who is now a co-founder and has a ton to offer for a project I'm really passionate about."

This demonstrates an example of how I’ve cultivated the flow of value in my life to create an opportunity for myself. In leading with service and finding creative ways to add value, I was able to build a relationship that has been a pivotal part of the next phase of my career. The opportunities are there, and you too can seize them for yourself by being supportive, helpful, and open.

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Click here to listen to the full interview on Subject Matter with Ben Bradbury.

As we’ve come to know if our lives, the things we experience are dependent on our own perception of the events. Jack Canfield articulates it as that no matter the circumstance, it is our response to the event that generates an outcome. This quote takes that same theory and applies it specifically to failure. Spoken by Maya Angelou, the quote goes, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.”

The quote separates the outcome of failure into two sections. The first is the objective reality of the performance, there is a measurement of whether you won or loss, if the idea worked or it didn’t, if you got what you wanted. But then the second side is the subjective representation of that experience - How did you receive the result? What is your mindset, mentality, and relationship with the event? How do you feel about your performance?

Let’s put this is an example. You’re applying for a new job, get an interview and find out you didn’t get selected for the position. You experienced defeat in that you didn’t achieve the objective outcome you wanted, which was to get the job. But next comes your subjective response and interpretation. You can choose to feel defeated, give up on making a move in your career, and settle for how things are... Or you can choose to persevere, take the lessons and feedback from your experience, and try again.

Understanding that there’s always a subjective interpretation to objective outcomes allows you to apply a more positive lens to the experience. It allows you to control the end result because you get to tell the story. This example brings more awareness to the ways that we choose how our life goes, and helps us paint a more positive picture for our lives overall.

In reading Jack Canfield’s book “Success Principles”, there’s an entire section on telling the truth. It includes speaking up for yourself, being vulnerable about your fears, doubts, and challenges, and treating others fairly by being honest with them from the very beginning. But then there was also a section on the small, convenient, white lies that we tell on a daily basis and what that actually does to us.

There are times when we’re in the heat of a story, or recollecting facts about something for someone, and we exaggerate the truth. This may be to generate a stronger effect so the point really sinks in, it could be out of enthusiasm and excitement… But it probably was never your intention to lie and all of a sudden it slips out.

Jack Canfield shares that if we really want to feel liberated as an ultimate truth-speaker, we can’t let any lie go unaddressed. Big and small, we can’t let anything slip through the cracks or be written off as an exception. Once you let yourself lie about one small thing, and you know it, you lose a little bit of trust in yourself, and with less trust you have less confidence and ultimately you fail to be honest to others and yourself.

What I reflected on after internalizing how this relates to me, because I very much am guilty of this, is that we feel the need to embellish because we feel insecure about ourselves in the situation. We fudge the sales numbers a little bit because we are afraid of how we’ll be received if we don’t meet expectations. We exaggerate the details in stories because we’re compensating out of fear that others won’t enjoy spending time with us. It’s a defense mechanism from standing out in your truth because you’d rather hide behind a more impressive or seemingly valuable front.

So what I’m committed to doing, and I've added it to my goal sheet, is asking myself the question “Did I do my best to be completely honest today?” Did I correct myself when I embellished? Did I report things as they are, not how I think others want them to be? The first step is about bringing more awareness to your habits so you can understand the full breadth of the topic you’re hoping to improve, and that’s where I’m starting.

Sometimes, we come across people who just aren’t very nice - Either they don’t treat us fairly, or they make really selfish decisions that negatively affect us, or are mean in some other way. It could be the person that rides your tail then speeds past you because they didn’t like the way you were driving. Or maybe it’s a co-worker who is feeling pressure about a project and needs to take it out on someone. Or maybe it’s a random stranger who for whatever reason has some hate in their heart. When we encounter these people, or these circumstances, I want you to keep this idea in mind - Hurt people hurt people. Only the person who is hurt themselves is capable of hurting others.

No one is born hurt or broken. Unfortunately, it is transferred from one person to another. Oftentimes people do things that make themselves feel better, but it comes at the expense of other people and their well-being. If someone feels the need to treat someone poorly it’s because they have been treated poorly themself.

And here’s the important part - it’s not their fault. They didn’t ask to be hurt. They didn’t want to exist that way. But someone else put this upon them and now, in certain instances, that’s who they’ve become to cover for the hurt that they feel.

So when they come at you with that anger, resentment, and fear, know that it’s no reflection on you. It’s an outlet for them, and the best thing to do is to be compassionate for them and their experience. It’s not your responsibility to wear their pain, you don’t need to accommodate to their issues, and the next time a hurt person tries to hurt you, don’t let it get to you.